My Adoption Nightmare

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Date: 2008-09-11

My Adoption Nightmare
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Submitted by iwasstolen on Thu, 09/11/2008 - 11:59

My name is Vanessa. I was born in India and then stolen from my family while I was sleeping at the age of four. I have a video on  about my kidnapping and search to find my family. there is a part one and a part two to this video. Both videos are seven mintues long together and it is important to watch both for the full story. There is also a site  that is about my search for my biological family. There is also a news story done by times now in India about my adoption nightmare the only tragic thing is they got my age wrong they said I was in my 30s when i am actually in my 40s even though i really do not know my real age.

After I was stolen I was hid for a year and a half and then brought to a convent in India and then adopted into Canada in April of 1978. The people that had adopted me had been found mentally unfit to adopt me but through private adoption as well as having money were able to adopt me. I was eight almost turning nine when I arrived in canada. I really do not know what my real age or name is just what the nuns gave me to adopt me out.

Once I arrived to my adopted parents my abuse began. My adopted dad was very passive and my adopted mother a raging lunatic with fits of uncontrollable rage. I was kept in an attic that i could barley even stand up in. there was no light in my room and it would be stiffling hot in the summer and freezing cold in the winter. I was not allowed to get out of bed until i was told to. I had no toys or clothes in my room it was just dark with a little single bed.

My adopted dad started molesting me yet it was hard to hate him because my adopted mom would starve me and leave me out in the cold and he would even though he was molesting me would give me food as well as books to read which would help me to forget my abuse and go somwehere else in my mind. this had a serious impact on me because you see a molestor as someone mean and cruel but he was not that because in certain ways he saved me. Like when my adopted mom started strangling me in my bed he pulled her of telling her she was going to kill me if she did not stop.

I was not allowed in the kitchen or living room except to clean. I was not allowed to touch the fridge or stove and I had to make sure that I had a smile on my face when I went to church with them or I would be beaten after.

School was not any better I faced intense racism and bulliying by other children because I was adopted into a small predominantly white community. I ended up hating every part of me because I felt I was dirty and there was something terribly wrong with me. Sleep ended up being my only friend.

At the age of fourteen I was finally taken away by social services and placed in foster care. I went through several homes and you start to feel that you are unloved and uncared for and that you really do not matter.In one of my foster homes I was offered a ride home by a man that my foster mother knew and then he raped me. He was known to the police for raping other young girls.

I became a mess after this and wanted to die because during this time I was also going through the trial of sexual abuse with my adopted father so social services placed me in a special care foster home. After I had been there for about a month the adult son of my foster mother got me drunk and when I passed out he had sex with me. This continued on until I started bleeding severely and it would not stop for over a month. At the hospital I learned that I was pregnant with twins and was miscarrying severly so they had to perform emergency surgery on me to save my life. Social services should have pulled me out of the home right then but instead they put me back in the home and the abuse continued until I became preganant. This time social services signed papers as I was under age and I was married to him.

It was then that I learned that this adult son of the foster mother had done this before with another foster child and it was kep quiet except she did not become pregnant. My married life was a living hell full of physcial abuse but I had two wonderful boys who I love very much.

I finally escaped this hell in February 11th 1992 and have been fighting to make change ever since.The special care foster home was shut down after and investigation by the ombudsman. there reasons for shutting the home down was due to the conduct of the adult children of the special care foster mothers children towards foster children. I truly believe that what does not kill you will only make you stronger and that through pain and suffering we are able to help many others. My dream one day is to be reuntied with my family that I was stolen from.


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