Sick Pups/ What do these people think ...

This is a link to a blog post which explains how one child collector couple feels God calls them to adopt one special needs child after the other. Never mind how you are going to take care of so many kids from all over the world, when God personally calls you!

Still, I wonder who their social worker is. Must be a member of the same church, or something. Who else would approve of still another adoption for this family?

Jared

0

Superstition, "dreams", hallucinations, religion - adoption, too

<sigh>

There was a CBS sitcom called The King of Queens, and in one particular episode, the wife, Carrie, "found God", after she said a prayer in church, and learned she got the raise she prayed for.  After that feel-good discovery, she decided to pray a little more. At first, her husband, Doug, was very repulsed by her petty prayers, but soon enough, he too got turned-onto the power of a magic-genie praying spree.   [See:  Holy Mackerel ]  Great episode. Of course, one can imagine where all this leads....(consequences of actions often don't manifest themselves right away... they usually come until much much later). 

Crazy how life works, ain't it?

I like when die-hard faith-based adopters claim God or Jesus called them to pursue a challenging adoption plan.

Often times, mental health professionals will say the person who hears voices, or thinks he/she is Jesus-like has a mental disorder, like  schizophrenia.  However, there are those who also claim such a label is an unhealthy hypothesis, and this approach toward those who act/behave "differently" needs to change because it's a human's rights issue.  (Hearing Voices Movement).

<trying to keep a straight face>

I know I myself used to do all sorts of crazy silly superstitious stuff when I was much younger and in desperate need of a sign that things will soon get much much better for me.  For instance, I'd say to myself, whilst driving, "If the next three traffic lights are green, that means _______ is going to call me."  I used to carry trinkets for good luck, too.  Like a clear acrylic cube was going to keep my grandmother from saying really horrible things to/about me, or saying 10 Hail Mary's would remove the hate I felt toward my Amother.  

It's funny how all my neurotic superstitious ways went away once I left the Catholic Church, for good.

I think most people DO entertain that little voice that every once in a while likes to get a little freak-a-deaky, inside.  I think many of us use that internal voice as a guide.  Hell, my inner voices saved me from insanity and suicide MANY times!

What scares me is the person who will use that inner-voice and say that voice is God and therefore every reason/justification given by that person is a chain God-sent events.  I mention this because if one is going to claim he/she believes God=Good/godly, one must also, by default, believe the opposite is true, as well -- Satan=Bad/evil.

So, let's review how the prayer-filled, wishful, superstitious, religious person perceives her own mega 'special needs' adoption plan.  This stuff really fascinates me...

Almost 15 years ago I felt God tell me that He was going to bless our family with a Down Syndrome child. This was long before my husband Mike and I ever considered adoption. We knew our family was complete. We had no desire for more children and certainly no desire for special needs children. But the thoughts of a Down Syndrome little boy haunted my dreams. I felt compelled to read books about Down Syndrome. I watched crowds for the distinctively sweet faces of those with Down Syndrome. I really thought that I would by some miracle get pregnant again and that would be how God would bring this child to us. I had no idea what amazing plans the Lord really had in store for us.
Mike and I were professing Christians and felt our life was just fine the way it was. Our children were all about grown and out of the house. We were looking forward to early retirement. We were comfortable in our easy all American dream of a life. It was 2000 and it seemed the world was ready for new beginnings. Then…Mike and I felt God draw us out of our lukewarmness. We had called ourselves Christians. We went to church. We tithed. We took our teens to youth group. But God wooed us and created in our heart an ache to know Him better. We began to yearn for a deeper relationship with Him. He drew us out of our comfort zone. He taught us to pray..”Lord, make me radically sold out for You at any cost”. It was scary but exciting too. We thought He was preparing us for some exotic future…like being missionaries in Africa or moving to China. Instead one day He told us He wanted us to adopt a child.

[From:  Down Syndrome Adoption: God's Good Gifts , May 2, 2011 ]

OK..... whether or not God intensionally creates a Down Syndrome child, that can be left for debate.  Personally, I follow the belief that God Gifts us strength and endurance for tough times... I do not know if in fact He, Himself makes mistakes or malfunctions, like genetic deformities.  Nevertheless, let's say, for argument's sake God does purposely create damage, so a greater good lesson for all can be found and learned.

What force (good or evil) is behind the adoption-plan?

IF God purposely created a "special" (diseased/deformed) child to be born, wouldn't God want the gift of damage and strength be given to the one He chose to birth the damaged child?

WHAT makes these holier-than-thou "Christians" believe THEY were supposed to receive said damage and new-found grace, through adoption.... a process that pays a third-party cash for services?

Such weird arrogance on behalf of "Faith-based" adopters really confounds and astounds me,making me question if, in fact, those who claim God wants bad things to happen so better people can earn fast-track heaven-points are simply delusional and insane, in great need of special help and special medication, themselves.

Still, there is a bigger problem with the God-factor behind one's prayer for a child and adoption.

In the bible, readers are warned about the great deceiver.  The great deceiver does all sorts of sick tricky stuff, as a way to fool and mislead those who claim to know God, and follow the ways of Jesus. The great deceiver is known as Satan, ("the accuser")

Think of alllllllll the times rabid religious rhetorics will claim those who question the witness to God are in fact, trying to rebuke God's name.  [If I recall correctly, the Christian group that went down to Haiti to "save" fresh earthquake "orphans" used this argument to justify their illegal actions.]

How, then, is a believer in God and person who follows the ways of Jesus supposed to read and interpret this "special needs" story?

Better yet, how to we justify the actions of those who assume the third-party role in a child-placement decision?  Does a God-sent adoption plan solve the problem of forced/unwanted pregnancy?

A total of 14 women, half of them pregnant, were freed on Wednesday from an operation using them as surrogates for wealthy childless couples overseas who placed orders for newborns online.

Campaigners fear for the future of the infants who are born to desperate women -- perhaps not their biological mothers -- and into a legal grey area, with Thailand still mulling the ramifications of the case.

"There is a risk that those children might end up as stateless, that they won't get citizenship anywhere," said Benedict Phillips, Asia strategy director at Save The Children.
Public Health Minister Jurin Laksanawisit has described the gang, which operated under the name Baby 101, as "illegal and inhuman" and suggested some of the women had been raped.

A few were offered up to $5,000 per baby, but others said they had been tricked into the scam, said police, who have arrested four Taiwanese, one Chinese and three Myanmar nationals in connection with the operation.

[From:  Future uncertain for children in Thai baby scam, February, 2011 ]

If international adoption becomes the chosen humanitarian option, (the one that relieves the burden felt by those already struggling, by removing a few unwanted extra mouths to feed and brains to educate), will that mean the prayers of the envious and the infertile have been answered by God and man?  Or will the adoption-option be yet another God-send, given to those who promote the word of ICA?  [Because we all know adoption reduces the number of abortions and numbers of children put in-care each and every year, don't we?]

<rolling eyes like I'm about to experience an exorcism>   

I still have trouble with the belief that God is calling people, via dreams and stirrings, to do anything that encourages illegal adoption, promotes the separation of mother and child, and/or brings more troubled, suffering so-called orphans into the USA for care, all so money can be saved in one area, and earned in another.  Let's put aside the fun debate that pits "money is the root of all evil" against those who boast the slogan "In God We Trust" is found on US currency, has anyone taken the time to really looked at they type of care one can get through adoption services, (and American business-interests), lately?   

If a person wants to provide the funds necessary to keep a child born with Downs Syndrome alive, well, and happy his/her entire "special" life, then God bless that person who wants to spend his/her earned money in such an altruistic way.  I myself cannot imagine such wealth, but then I'm not making a 6-7 figure salary each year.  [I wish I did.... I too would be much more generous with my charity donations.]

Question is.... is adoption required to be philanthropic?

[WWJD in such a situation?]

I guess it all comes down to a person's core belief system, and whether or not one has faith in the goodness and kindness that can and does exist in our fellow-man.  I know when I see an action as being half good and half evil, I like to take the time to see where it is a person like me can be led into a false belief, ("am I being deceived?... and I getting the whole story... or is some really important details missing?"), and then I like to ask a second opinion, because the truth is, sometimes mistrusting people-haters cynics like me can't be trusted... we're inclined to see the bad/evil in everything.

A bad adoption experience, or really traumatic childhood, (with very little help/compassion), can do that to a person.

Jared, I haven't taken the time to read the blogger's entire blog.... how many "special" children are these people financially responsible for?  [You know health-care when the kids get older is freakin EXPENSIVE, especially if the adult with special needs has to go to a long-term care facility.  Those go for about $8000/month, per person.  Easily.] 

I know you asked what sort of SW approves such people, but one must remember the SW in Adoptionland is working for an agency that pays his/her salary, few see their calling as a job that serves a child/future adult.  Let me ask a question of my own --  Do you think those who adopt more than one 'special needs' child think about future full-time costs, like long-term assisted living on a retired person's budget?

"With God on their side"

Looks like God only hears the prayers of...PAPs.

Many blogs have "prayer warriors"..."praying THEIR child home". (???)

I wonder if God just turns a blind eye to corruption, false documentation and illegal activities so that PAPs can "get their child home."

To answer your question:
Do you think those who adopt more than one 'special needs' child think about future full-time costs, like long-term assisted living on a retired person's budget?

No, I guess they rely on God to finance that as well or they become a type of charity and get money and things from their community.

No, no, no, you silly....

God does not finance.  However, your local church minister might be able to cut a special deal or two....you know, call for a collection, a favor, whatever.

[Anyone ever watch movies about the mob?  Sure the stuff is all fiction and made-up,because people like that can't possibly use the church and members of the clergy, and politicians as pawns in a bigger game.. but still, the stuff can get a person thinking about corruption and how it works in regions where money is God and power is everything.]

<shaking head and coming out of fog>

No, in more white/vanilla churches, found in Anytown, Good Ol USA, I'm guessing the burdened adopters who find they can't afford any more fees are encouraged to beg request others for generous donations.

The thing is,,,, why isn't this "help collect for the poor, poor dears" done for the first-parents who didn't get their "special" child through adoption?

<thinking, thinking>

OOOOOOOOH, that's right.... one must belong to the right/correct GROUP!  Ah, right group, right services.  Gotcha.

DAMN that explains why I never got help when I needed it back in 2001 and 2006.  I bet if I followed the church rule and 'donated' 20% of my husband's income, each year, I'd have gotten the help I needed when my world collapsed around me.

Oh well.... I guess the lesson here, kids, is:  it pays to be on the church's Good List.  [Haters like me have to learn how to make it on our own.  Which is fine actually, because I learned first-hand what doesn't kill me DOES make me stronger, for a while, at least.]

divine finance

God may not finance, but there are some who consider finance to be a very divine issue. For example, Cry of the Orphan participant, Crown Financial Ministries, whose mission is: "Equipping people worldwide to learn, apply, and teach God’s financial principles so they may know Christ more intimately, be free to serve Him, and help fund the Great Commission. "

Apparently one can know Christ more intimately through the use of money. I wonder how that meshes with Jesus' temple cleansing practices.

Family Size

Kerry,

Even though I would very much like to answer your question about the number of special needs kids in this family, I must admit I somewhat lost track when reading, and I  couldn't find my way through this family jungle. There is nothing like a grid overview in the blog, probably because the family still hasn't quit adopting, and who knows, maybe someone WOULD raise concerns if they saw the figures and did get a chance to apply some simple maths here.

There must be somewhat around 10-15 kids in this family at the moment (just guessing now). That is quite a number of mouths to feed, even without considering the cost of health care and therapies. What I could find out is that they have five 9yrs. old kids from (probably) three different countries, three of whom seem to have special needs.
I don't know much about large families. What I do remember vaguely is that there must be a somewhat difficult stage  in the biological development of people, something that leads to unpredictable and eruptive behavior - wasn't that around the age of, let's say, twelve to fifteen? I wonder what ANYONE would do with five of these then hormon ridden young fellows all at once, let alone the others who are following them down the line, in one family.

Which reminds me of the reason why I thought it might be a good idea to mention this family blog:
What is adoption supposed to be about? Following voices that speak to you,  fullfilling someone's basic desires to mother children,  fullfilling someone's addiction to adopting? A bit of all the three?

Jared

Come now....

didn't you see the photos, Jared?  (Donchya just want one?)  Didn't you see the crafty-style of the blog?  (Didn't it give off the impression that all they touch feels and smells like home, sweet, home?)

<shaking head... sometimes I read WAY into this subliminal message stuff >

I myself don't get the "I always wanted to be a mom" thing.  Growing up I had dolls, so I played with dolls.  Growing up, I was told I wanted to be a mommy, so I agreed to get pregnant ASATHWO (As Soon As The Honeymoon Was Over).  Do I like kids?  No. I prefer dogs.   Do I like my own kids?  Sometimes.  (They can be soooo annoying... even when they sleep!)  Do I love my kids?  I'd kill and/or die for them, without question.  While I am the kind of mom who will be the first to say, "Damn, (child)you look ugly (or smell like crap, or.....)", I'm also the kind of mom who will stay-with and awake all night with the child who is sick because I know how scary the 103 fever nightmares can get.  Delirium and confusion is never fun or OK, when you're all alone.

I don't understand women (or men) who fall in-love at first sight.  I don't understand people who weep over a photo.  [See:  comment, Photo Opportunities ].  I don't understand those who only see themselves as a single role, like "mom" or "wife/husband of  ________" .  I think people who say they love to take care of other people are either exaggerating, or on mind-numbing doses of something.

Parenting is for crazy people.  Correction, only crazy people think parenting is always fun and wonderful and a job that should never change or end.  Caring for the needy is often times horrible horrible thankless work.... but the average try-to-be-a-do-gooder doesn't know this, at first. 

I know for myself, I got bamboozled into wanting a non-walking non-talking baby after I got my first whiff of Pampers. I still delight at the smell, and the sound a fresh new non-earth friendly diaper makes when it is first opened.  That little cut-out notch for the umbilical cord?  Freakin adorable!  The smell of baby detergents?  UHHHH... if I could swim in the stuff, I would.  I honesty don't know what's cuter, over the top bubble-gum pink baby clothes, or little clothes that make little boys look like old men.  If I could, I would eat all my food using a rubber covered baby-spoon.  I can't even talk about the shoes, coats, and hats made for the infant-3T set.

THIS is how families, (babies, more and more babies, and their must-have buy-products), get sold to the public.

Of course, every seasoned mom knows, it all stops being cute when the breasts leak and everything smells like sour milk, poop, vomit, or all three.

It stops being fun when the little sound maker starts talking, and says "no"... and throws his/her first major melt-down tantrum, in public.

After 17+ years of doing this full-time (ATC) mom-thing, I have come to realize "New" is in the eye of the beholder.  [The kitchen playset may be 12 years old, but it's new to the 2 yr old twins who get it as a cheap recycled B.day gift from exhausted and broke mom and dad.]

I do agree with something you touch upon... and I think it plagues a LOT of people, (whether they are involved in adoption, or not):  a lot of people have what seems to be an addiction to new-ness.

"I must have new" applies to people wanting newborns (and their accessories);  "I must have new" happens to the people seeking new/better sex partners; "I must have new" motif follows the person fixated on _______.  This "must have new (and different)" mindset can even apply to the person who just can't satiate his/her craving for a brand new 'Special Need'.  There's a hormonal release-thing going on.... all sorts of releases in the brain and body... dopamine, oxytocin, rushes, highs, fast heart-rates a-flutter... all crazy stuff flooding the mind and senses belonging to the person consumed/obsessed with the newest, latest acquisition, game, hobby, toy.

But then, one day, "the new find"  becomes old, not so new (cute, fascinating) and exciting.  "New" loses it's appeal... it's novelty.  What was once exciting becomes predictable and boring... dull.  What used to be fun, suddenly becomes a chore.

It's kooky crazy "let's look at all the collected stuff" fun when the "must have new" collection enthusiast collects bottle caps, ancient coins, or gadgets, like cars... but when the collection is in the form of a living creature?  Kooky crazy fun quickly becomes dangerous, spooky, and creepy, a la pathological procurement.   [See:  Animal Hoarding: The Crazy Cat-Lady Explained  ]

All my life I have seen some crazy stuff... but as a nurse, some of those crazy funny-at-first stories quickly turn very tragic... very sad.  [Best stories you will ever hear at a party come from cops, clergy, and those in the medical profession... just hope the story-teller isn't a sloppy drunk.]

Because I have witnessed what I have, I take the thoughts and feelings of victims very seriously... which is why I really really don't understand adopters or breeders who keep adding to their family without thinking about future consequences, and all that could happen, should the bread-maker no longer be able to provide for those depending on that person/resource.  Adding kids because one can is irresponsible.  [Which makes the SW's in these mega adoption stories all the more horrible!  Maybe the parents-to-be have no idea what happens to a DS/MR child when he's not employable and a real physical burden, at 35, but a social worker worth spit sure should. ]

What is adoption supposed to be about? Following voices that speak to you,  fulfilling someone's basic desires to mother children,  fulfilling someone's addiction to adopting? A bit of all the three?

Jared, for the life of me, I don't know what adoption is supposed to be about, or for.  Most of all the best charitable acts frequent seen in and associated with adoptive families can be done through mentoring programs and philanthropic efforts.  For some reason, a lot of people think those things can't be done unless you are an official part/member of the family.  Well, here's the punch-line... there are lots of adopted kids who don't get a fraction of the care, gifts, or opportunities given to those related by blood.  As if being saved from an orphanage/institution should be gift enough.  [One would be surprised to learn how residents in a long-term facility assume family-like roles among themselves.]

My favorite examples of favoritism are seen among the uber wealthy.  Rights (in terms of inheritance and wills) can get really tricky, especially if you're the adopted child who never belonged to the blood-line, in the first-place.

In any case, I strongly believe, if there was no money to be made through an adoption plan, people/agencies/churches (private entities) would not be selling it (the concept) like it's better than sliced bread or a one-way ticket to heaven/salvation.

Pound Pup Legacy