'You're doing this for attention': Son of hero cop arrested for 'molesting' boys scorned by family for going to police

Date: 2011-04-03

The son of a hero former NYPD officer accused of molesting three boys has told how he faced the scorn of his family for reporting his father to authorities.

Shane Fox, 32, tipped Pennsylvania authorities off to his father, William Fox, 65, in 2008 after he allegedly walked in on the retired officer abusing a 16-year-old adopted son.

But instead of support from the Fox family, Shane has told how he faced scorn and anger from siblings.

Speaking to the New York Daily News, Shane Fox said: 'I told my wife and we called the cops from there.

Unknown to Shane, another his Fox's alleged victims, 43-year-old Frank Spinelli, had also alerted Staten Island authorities that the ex-cop molested him when he was a Boy Scout in the late 1970s.

Following the allegations, Fox was arrested on March 21 and charged with 21 counts including charges of rape and involuntary deviate sexual intercourse.

Shane told the paper he face a barrage of insults from his brothers after coming forward.

Speaking about their adoptive father, one brother told him: 'Do you think he deserves this.

'You're only doing this for attention.'

According to Shane, Fox adopted 10 children in three states, including some with mental disabilities.

Shane said he lived with five foster families before the hero cop adopted him in Florida in 1994.

He said: 'Being a retired cop, I never thought he was like this.
'I found out the first night - that's when he started touching me.'
In spite of the alleged assaults, Shane told the paper how Fox would shower him with gifts and frequently take him on trips.

He added: 'Everything I wanted, I got.

'Everybody made him out to be a hero. But when you live with the guy, it's a totally different story.'

Bachelor William Fox became a nationwide celebrity in the 1980's after adopting a 17-year-old runaway he talked down from a suicide bid on a New York rooftop.

Fox and his new son Michael Buchanan later penned a novel 'The Cop and The Kid' about the heart-warming tale.

The NYPD cop became a national icon after he talked Buchanan down from a sixth floor Bowery Street ledge in 1981 - later adopting the boy.

In May 1982 Fox was named as one of 10 'fathers of the year' by the National Father's Day Committee.

The story became a national sensation with a round of TV appearances and magazine interviews following publication of the book.

Fox's arrest came after a two year probe was launched on the back of a 'concerned individual' coming forward from the Staten island area.
Police allege Fox abused the victims in his Liberty home, situated near the New York state line in north-central Pennsylvania.

Fox had to retire after 11 years in the police when a drunk driver crashed into his parked patrol car.

Over the course of his carer, Fox had been responsible for three fire rescues and was twice hurt while trying to stop separate burglaries in progress.

Shane described how, after moving his wife and children back in with Fox in 2008, he he couldn't stand to see Fox abuse the young boys.
Shane Fox - who has a 1-year-old daughter and a 4-year-old stepson - said coming forward will be worth it when the suspected molester is behind bars for good.

'It will be justice in my eyes,' he said.

'I don't want my kids to go through what I went through.'

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Note the hero of the bunch

This article typifies what happens when a foster/adopted child confesses a terrible sin has been committed by a "respected" hero.

The son of a hero former NYPD officer accused of molesting three boys has told how he faced the scorn of his family for reporting his father to authorities.

Shane Fox, 32, tipped Pennsylvania authorities off to his father, William Fox, 65, in 2008 after he allegedly walked in on the retired officer abusing a 16-year-old adopted son.

But instead of support from the Fox family, Shane has told how he faced scorn and anger from siblings.

Speaking to the New York Daily News, Shane Fox said: 'I told my wife and we called the cops from there.

Unknown to Shane, another his Fox's alleged victims, 43-year-old Frank Spinelli, had also alerted Staten Island authorities that the ex-cop molested him when he was a Boy Scout in the late 1970s.

Following the allegations, Fox was arrested on March 21 and charged with 21 counts including charges of rape and involuntary deviate sexual intercourse.

Shane told the paper he face a barrage of insults from his brothers after coming forward.

Speaking about their adoptive father, one brother told him: 'Do you think he deserves this.

'You're only doing this for attention.'

According to Shane, Fox adopted 10 children in three states, including some with mental disabilities.

Shane said he lived with five foster families before the hero cop adopted him in Florida in 1994.

He said: 'Being a retired cop, I never thought he was like this.
'I found out the first night - that's when he started touching me.'
In spite of the alleged assaults, Shane told the paper how Fox would shower him with gifts and frequently take him on trips.

He added: 'Everything I wanted, I got.

'Everybody made him out to be a hero. But when you live with the guy, it's a totally different story.'

I myself have always been in awe of those who said I was the crazy one in my Afamily.  [All sorts of claims made about/against me came-out when "all of a sudden" I wanted nothing to do with specific "wonderful" family members within my dysfunctional Afamily.]

In our Adult Aftermath section, I posted a little about the sociopath profile, in this case, The Serial Bully (who happens to start off as overly friendly with his/her new target, or seems very competent in his/her line of work), found on another website.  It's a sobering read, especially if you are the victim and can't understand why the real brave hero (the confessing victim) becomes the vilified criminal responsible for tearing a family apart, forcing others to think before choosing sides.

The serial bully:

  • is a convincing, practised liar and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment
  • has a Jekyll and Hyde nature - is vile, vicious and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses; no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive nature - only the current target of the serial bully's aggression sees both sides; whilst the Jekyll side is described as "charming" and convincing enough to deceive personnel, management and a tribunal, the Hyde side is frequently described as "evil"; Hyde is the real person, Jekyll is an act
  • excels at deception and should never be underestimated in their capacity to deceive
  • uses excessive charm and is always plausible and convincing when peers, superiors or others are present (charm can be used to deceive as well as to cover for lack of empathy)
  • is glib, shallow and superficial with plenty of fine words and lots of form - but there's no substance
  • is possessed of an exceptional verbal facility and will outmanoeuvre most people in verbal interaction, especially at times of conflict
  • is often described as smooth, slippery, slimy, ingratiating, fawning, toadying, obsequious, sycophantic
  • relies on mimicry, repetition and regurgitation to convince others that he or she is both a "normal" human being and a tough dynamic manager, as in extolling the virtues of the latest management fads and pouring forth the accompanying jargon
  • is unusually skilled in being able to anticipate what people want to hear and then saying it plausibly
  • cannot be trusted or relied upon
  • fails to fulfil commitments
  • is emotionally retarded with an arrested level of emotional development; whilst language and intellect may appear to be that of an adult, the bully displays the emotional age of a five-year-old
  • is emotionally immature and emotionally untrustworthy
  • exhibits unusual and inappropriate attitudes to sexual matters, sexual behaviour and bodily functions; underneath the charming exterior there are often suspicions or hints of sex discrimination and sexual harassment, perhaps also sexual dysfunction, sexual inadequacy, sexual perversion, sexual violence or sexual abuse
  • in a relationship, is incapable of initiating or sustaining intimacy
  • holds deep prejudices (eg against the opposite gender, people of a different sexual orientation, other cultures and religious beliefs, foreigners, etc - prejudiced people are unvaryingly unimaginative) but goes to great lengths to keep this prejudicial aspect of their personality secret
  • is self-opinionated and displays arrogance, audacity, a superior sense of entitlement and sense of invulnerability and untouchability
  • has a deep-seated contempt of clients in contrast to his or her professed compassion
  • is a control freak and has a compulsive need to control everyone and everything you say, do, think and believe; for example, will launch an immediate personal attack attempting to restrict what you are permitted to say if you start talking knowledgeably about psychopathic personality or antisocial personality disorder in their presence - but aggressively maintains the right to talk (usually unknowledgeably) about anything they choose; serial bullies despise anyone who enables others to see through their deception and their mask of sanity
  • displays a compulsive need to criticise whilst simultaneously refusing to value, praise and acknowledge others, their achievements, or their existence
  • shows a lack of joined-up thinking with conversation that doesn't flow and arguments that don't hold water
  • flits from topic to topic so that you come away feeling you've never had a proper conversation
  • refuses to be specific and never gives a straight answer
  • is evasive and has a Houdini-like ability to escape accountability
  • undermines and destroys anyone who the bully perceives to be an adversary, a potential threat, or who can see through the bully's mask
  • is adept at creating conflict between those who would otherwise collate incriminating information about them
  • is quick to discredit and neutralise anyone who can talk knowledgeably about antisocial or sociopathic behaviors
  • may pursue a vindictive vendetta against anyone who dares to held them accountable, perhaps using others' resources and contemptuous of the damage caused to other people and organisations in pursuance of the vendetta
  • is also quick to belittle, undermine, denigrate and discredit anyone who calls, attempts to call, or might call the bully to account
  • gains gratification from denying people what they are entitled to
  • is highly manipulative, especially of people's perceptions and emotions (eg guilt)
  • poisons peoples' minds by manipulating their perceptions
  • when called upon to share or address the needs and concerns of others, responds with impatience, irritability and aggression
  • is arrogant, haughty, high-handed, and a know-all
  • often has an overwhelming, unhealthy and narcissistic attention-seeking need to portray themselves as a wonderful, kind, caring and compassionate person, in contrast to their behaviour and treatment of others; the bully sees nothing wrong with their behavior and chooses to remain oblivious to the discrepancy between how they like to be seen and how they are seen by others
  • is spiritually dead although may loudly profess some religious belief or affiliation
  • is mean-spirited, officious, and often unbelievably petty
  • is mean, stingy, and financially untrustworthy
  • is greedy, selfish, a parasite and an emotional vampire
  • is always a taker and never a giver
  • is convinced of their superiority and has an overbearing belief in their qualities of leadership but cannot distinguish between leadership (maturity, decisiveness, assertiveness, co-operation, trust, integrity) and bullying (immaturity, impulsiveness, aggression, manipulation, distrust, deceitfulness)
  • often fraudulently claims qualifications, experience, titles, entitlements or affiliations which are ambiguous, misleading, or bogus
  • often misses the semantic meaning of language, misinterprets what is said, sometimes wrongly thinking that comments of a satirical, ironic or general negative nature apply to him or herself
  • knows the words but not the song
  • is constantly imposing on others a false reality made up of distortion and fabrication
  • sometimes displays a seemingly limitless demonic energy especially when engaged in attention-seeking activities or evasion of accountability and is often a committeeaholic or apparent workaholic

I recall sitting in Nursing School, one of our psych instructors warned us, "Two professions sociopaths are known to feel real comfortable in -- law enforcement and health care."

Lotta licensed people fostering and adopting... it gets real scary when the sociopath also has a license to carry a gun.

Just puttin that out there....for others to think about. 

<clearing throat>

Maybe, just maybe, in some cases, where the parent/abuser is a decorated police officer (or like-professional), the victim(s) are too afraid to come forward because they have so much more to lose than a dysfunctional family member.  Heaven knows I have been told a few times in my life "one person's definition of rape can be another person's definition of 'consensual sex' ".

Have You Noticed...

The dangerous predators find safety hiding in plain sight, and  "rely on mimicry and repetition?"  They are not as smart as they pretend to be, and we, the victims are the only ones who see it or hear it?  Example:  The "extroverted predator"  loves to play the bad-cop.   Example:  The "religious pretender" listens and memorizes the prayers of others, and when called upon to pray will repeat the words of others while the victim watches for the roof to fall in, but it never does.  I often wondered WHY others didn't HEAR his copy-cat praying.  They bought it every time.

Do you find that there seem to be 2 types of sex offenders:  Those who seek the glory of a job that involves possible violence and showing off; and those who seek a job where they just blend in and float, without the possibility of even being noticed?   Both are accepted as great guys.  One is forceful in his abuse, while the other grooms while he is taking.  They both do great harm emotionally, leaving the victim emotionally damaged for what seems like the rest of their lives.

If the first one is the serial bully, what would you call the second one?

Teddy

More on "serial bullies"

The information I found comes from, The Serial Bully, an entire page filled with a tremendous amount of interesting information about bullies, and the profiles behind them.  From what I understand, the site itself comes from the Tom Field Foundation, ("What is Bullying?") a private initiative created to help educate others about adult bullies at home and in the work-place.  Other (government-funded) sites might be more straightforward and simplistic, filled with legalese, but I found the Serial Bully page very fascinating and discussion-worthy.

Serial Bully 1&2

Maybe the second one IS a serial bully, too, only with a different personality...

Teddy

Pound Pup Legacy