exposing the dark side of adoption
Register Log in

Mega AP's stuck with mega problems and many unmet special needs

public

The other day, I received a letter, and it upset me because I really didn't know how to respond in a way that would provide quick steps to an easy solution. 

I am the oldest biological child from an adoptive family of 24 children. My mother was a single parent. That's an dangerous combination. NO parent has enough patience for that many children...and especially that many children with disabilities!!! It shouldn't have happened and shouldn't happen in the future. This is my problem. I don't know where to go for support and action to help a horrible problem that we have in the United States. 

 The issue of "mega families" who are abusive is one horrendous issue to be dealt with, but I have one more glaring issue that I have a question about. I had to call CPS on my own family while I was in college - everyone under 18 was taken out of the home...but, my siblings that were OVER 18 were LEFT there!!!!! Who protects them?? They're disabled, they're children, they can't protect themselves either. But, there's no where for them to go, so people just pretend that they don't exist. Come to find out, anyone can "claim" a disabled adult, lock them up in the basement, abuse them, and collect their money. No one stands on their side to see if they're in a good situation!!!!! It's horrendous and overwhelming. I know some states are better than others at providing rules that better protect them, but no one is out searching for these "kids". I don't know where to do to help. Do you have any ideas??

My own experience is limited, and from what I understand about the "care" industry, he who pays the bills and has legal Power Of Attorney, wins.

I'm amazed how often an AP will adopt and adopt and adopt one "special needs child" after another, only to realize, 20, 30, 70+ international adopted kids later, those kids have needs that are being ignored and those kids are being abused and neglected because there are not enough helping hands to go around to meet some very complex, complicated needs.  The worst part is, many mega-adopters follow the Evangelical Christian belief that God will provide, which is fine, until one realizes the person who agrees to take on more and more may be too brainwashed to realize some miracles in life DO need a lot of outside human intervention.

How does an adult child deal with such a burden brought on by an Amother who could not say no to yet another adoption-plan....

And how do we warn others about the troubling burden/future consequences that come with those adoption plans that revolve around short-sighted APs, many children with "special needs" (disabilities), and "the need" or "the call" to create a mega-family through adoption?

by Kerry on Wednesday, 20 April 2011