Length-of-stay in a foreign country
- The final cost of an international adoption
- The adoption business in Nepal
- Overseas adoption racket: How children are sneaked out by the hundreds
- Liberia - Misc. trafficking cases
- Adoption agreement between Vietnam and U.S. falls apart
- Deported woman seeks MEA’s help
- Hoosiers face challenges adopting abroad
- Adoption 'donations' encourage crime
- Ethiopia - Better Future Adoption Services case
- Adoption Issues in the US
People, people, people.... when
purchasing, buying, paying fees - in cash, adopting a foreign child, and a certain required length-of-stay is required, don't call your local government rep to complain about the length-of stay. Even if all the other adopters got to leave after 5 days for a speedy adoption pick-up, STAY the required time... you never know what fate has in-store for you.... who knows, if you're Christian, maybe God is using you to see all the $%&!&!$ signs of corruption and fraud around you...
For the sake of victims of an illegal adoption, please review the following scenario, and ask, "What would I think and do if I were expecting a short adoption pick-up?":
A local couple recently celebrated the five-year anniversary of bringing their daughter home from Guatemala. The homecoming came after the family was rescued in the foreign country by a local congresswoman.
"I really feel that we were the exception, not the rule," Shay Beighle said. "In all international adoptions there are bumps in the road, and it is a huge leap of faith."
On March 5, 2006, Shay and Rodney Beighle traveled to bring their adoptive daughter, Sylvia, home from Guatemala. The typical duration of the pick-up trip at that time was a three to five day in-country stay. For a number of reasons, they were unable to obtain their pink slip (basically the exit slip from the country).
"My Guatemalan attorney didn't submit all our appropriate/required paperwork when he should have," Shay said. "He submitted some but not all, and the one he left out was the I600-A form which is the petition to take an orphan out of the country."
There is a large portfolio adoptive parents create called a Dossier, according to Shay. The Dossier consists of nearly 30 documents, such as background checks, references, doctor's notes, and so on. All those documents are notarized, county authenticated/sealed, Ohio state authenticated/sealed, and U.S.A. authenticated/sealed by the U.S. Secretary of State. Then the Dossier is sent to our adoption agency, to Guatemala, and translated by the Guatemalan attorneys.
"Once the Guatemalan courts (called PGN, similar to our clerk of courts) reviewed our case and approved it, Sylvia was legally our daughter," said Shay. "At that point it became our attorney's job to submit to the U.S. Embassy, and the Embassy would assign us an interview. The interview is very short, and it is where you obtain your child's passport and packet of sealed documents to give to immigration once you arrive in the U.S.A."
The U.S. Embassy was operating on a unique system, and their Guatemalan attorney was not able to submit the paperwork needed.
"After we were in the country for two days, I received an email from the U.S. Embassy stating my I600-A was not submitted," Shay explained. "At that point I called my attorney's assistant. She explained it was his fault, and it would be rectified the next day.
"Day after day, my attorney's assistant would call us with the bad news that my attorney was not able to submit the document. At that time the U.S. Embassy would open a window for such paperwork submission. The window would be open 9 a.m. to 9:30 a.m. Monday through Thursday, and only 25 attorneys would get to submit their documents.
"The catch was, if you were 26th in line on Tuesday, it didn't mean you got to be first on Wednesday. Some of the attorneys had people working for them who would sleep on the street to insure a place in line."
Sylvia was legally their daughter, but they were unable to leave Guatemala with her. They needed the proper paperwork that would lead to her passport and a meeting at the U.S. Embassy.
After nearly three weeks in Guatemala, they met an American couple who told Shay that she could take over her own case. Being a U.S. citizen, she entered the embassy, and the staff there suggested she contact political help from their home state.
At that point, Shay called David Kelley at 7 p.m. on a Thursday evening, and by the next morning she had an email from Congresswoman Jean Schmidt's office stating she would help them bring their daughter home.
Over the next few days, she was in constant contact with Teresa Lewis from Schmidt's office as she prepared to enter the U.S. Embassy to obtain Sylvia's paperwork that was necessary to get her passport. Schmidt and her staff were also in contact with the U.S. Embassy on behalf of their case file.
"Five days after my phone call to David Kelley and contacting Jean Schmidt, we were on a plane flying home with our precious daughter," Shay said.
[From: Peebles family's adoption leads to lengthy stay in foreign country, April 13, 2011 ]
First of all, the daughter is not 'theirs' until the adoption is final. Second of all, there is a lot of fraudulent paper-work,/documentation passing as "legal". The Aparents may have had no reason to think there was any problem with the adoption process itself, outside of delayed paper-work.
PAP's need to WAKE UP and stop acting like 'those (bad adoption) stories' only happen to other people, using other adoption agencies, other adoption facilitators, and other adoption lawyers, and choosing other sending countries. Corruption and illegal activity, like child trafficking, coupled with doctored documents, are a universal trick and trade in Adoptionland. These adoptions ought to be ILLEGAL, and heavily investigated, not fast-tracked and made more simple.
<shaking head at the arrogant ignorance!!!>
Good grief... THINK before you call your senator/member of congress to voice a concern or complaint and ask a favor, whilst paying huge cash fees so "your child" can be handed over to you, so you can be free to hop on a plane and never return to that god-forsaken
region adoption headquarters again. As a new American AP, you never know whose stolen child you may have in your arms, crying, and needing comforting, and a safe return.
American PAPs considering ICA, OPEN YOUR EYES, and complain about the right things to complain about -- NOT the boo-hoo scary length of stay or time it takes to take a single child, under the age of five, "home". Adoption scams are too bad and aplenty in ALL of Adoptionland to go without serious complaint.
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What struck me about the article, and which very much relates to the notion of "our daughter", is the use of the phrase homecoming. Home to whom?
For the child being adopted, the place he/she is taken to is certainly not home. It may over time become home, but at first that place is strange and likely to be even hostile. Especially for older children, the orphanage they lived in is home. It may not be a nice home; it may not be a good home, but for these children it is home nonetheless.
The use of "homecoming" or "bringing our child home", is once again a manifestations of how AP's tend to look at things from their own perspective and not that of the child they adopt.'
The same is of course true for the use of "our daughter" or "our son". For the adopted child this is far from real at the time of adoption. Again it may over time start to feel that way, but at first the child doesn't belong to his/her adoptive parents, they are strangers.
Adoptive parents have taken months preparing for the adoption, they have seen pictures of the child, they have imagined that child living in their house. None of that is true for the child they adopt.
If adopters could start looking at things from the eyes of the child they adopt, they will see that much of the happiness surrounding the adoption is in their hearts only. For the child it is all new and unfamiliar, something to fear, something to cope with. The happiness adoptive parents feel will never become part of the experience of the adopted child; that's a rift that will always remain.
They Want More Money...
"What would I think and do if I were expecting a short adoption pick-up?":
Every AP wants a short "pick-up" time. In the USA we have been taught, all our lives, to put self first: It was once called Humanism. Now it's just the norm. It is wrong.
I went to Guatemala alone; contracted Dysentery, and found out NOTHING goes fast in that country. At certain times of the day, everyone takes a nap (whenever the thought arises), and EVERYTHING is on hold. LEARN the customs of a country before traveling there to do business. UNDERSTAND that all peoples of 3rd world countries believe we are ALL rich Americans. The game is to see how much can be extorted from each rich American.
Not only are the slick lawyers after the rich American's money, but those Americans who live in the sending country for a while, see NOTHING wrong in extorting their "fellow Americans." Even the pious missionaries, there to save the souls of the lost; have found a way, in adoption, to pad their own purses. They think NOTHING of paying bribes; after all, "you want your baby, don't you?" At one point, I wasn't so sure that I did.
"First of all, the daughter is not 'theirs' until the adoption is final." I was in the country one week and the adoption WAS final (in Guatemala/ needed to RE-finalize in the states after 6 months). My name was on the birth certificate that was filed in the country, stating that I was the biological mother of my son. Just that simple; rightful biological mothers disappear. And WHO is the worst sinner in all of this? Is it the AP's who are so blinded by the "need" to parent; the attorneys who have found a way to make a lot of money (and more when they stall the process); the missionaries who are representing God and their country; or the USA who lets this happen daily without a thought to investigate whether everything is on the up and up? Or all of the above?
If the truth be known, every adoption story is full of bad stories that just keep on happening. Corruption and illegal activity happen. Child trafficking. Most every document is doctored/illegal. And these adoptions ARE illegal... just not investigated.
I did not call anyone. I was sick in a foreign country that I could not trust to give proper treatment to me. I went home. I said, ENOUGH! And, like all Americans, I did the thing I knew how to do: I paid the American worker of the neighboring missionary $500.00 for a ticket home to visit her family, and she did my interview, and brought my 3 month old son "home" with the chicken-pox.
No one, back then, "called their senator/member of congress. THAT was a few years down the line, yet. But, money still talked, even back then; and as sick as I was, I was willing to pay whatever it took just so long as I could go home and be put in the hospital. It was worth the extra $500.00.
I confronted the missionaries with the bribes and paperwork that would just materialize once $50.00 was placed inside the passport. They were shocked! THIS is how it is done! And I crawled back into the bathroom and emptied my bowls once more, counting the minutes till we left for Guatemala City and the airport. I cried all the way home. I had gotten caught up in an illegal mess that I had no idea how to get out of; could not have made a decision if I died from not. As far as I was concerned that baby was Irma's baby, not mine. I couldn't even pray. I just kept in a trance as I somehow traveled home.
This child is a man now; he is very okay with his adoption. Yes, he has dealt with being adopted in such an unethical way. And when he sees the hours of video I took of Guatemala and his family, he has no desire to visit or find them. YET... it may come in the years ahead. All this to say, SOME adoptions that are illegal may work out okay; some may devastate the child for a lifetime. It's not something that should be done just in case it might work out...
I totally agree that AP's should not boo-hoo over an unexpected longer in-country stay. But they should realize the truth stated here on this page: Adoptions are, for the most part, FULL of illegal happenings. Ask yourself, CAN I LIVE WITH IT? And if you can, then join the club of millions who are willing to be so low and shady just because it's mostly done in the sending country and WHO WILL KNOW??? Believe me, there is coming a time when EVERYONE will know. And, as a Christian, I know that God knows... and I'm not willing to ever press my luck again, KNOWING there is coming a wrath of God upon all of us who willingly become a part of such sinfulness.
Home, away from home
It's so fascinating learning what the foreign adoption process was and is (still) like, because the way my Amother would tell it.... you'd think she was the one suffering all the losses and the hardships. Why, you'd think she was the illegal migrant worker hiding from INS on a hot summer's day, and not the "wealthy" American coming-up to pick up her pre-purchased infant.
One of her favorite hardship-stories had to do with the hotel at which they had to stay. It was the most modern of its kind, but "all it was" was a Holdiay Inn. [Oh, the horrors.... <rolling eyes>]
Has anyone taken the time to see what these foreign adoption headquaters look like these days -- for the cash-toting foreign traveler?
Below is the Sheraton in Addis Abeba
How much you think it costs to stay there, after 5 nights?
And here is what the Sheraton looks like in all colonial, nightly splendor
Compare that to the accomodation the children call home
OF COURSE we stayed at the best places...
OF COURSE we stayed at the most expensive and glamorous hotels in the countries we adopted from... and it cost a pittance of what it does in America. Even the likes of my low-middle income family could afford to stay in comfort. We borrowed THOUSANDS, and spent it quickly. We loved the impression that we were "Rich Americans."
The Lotte hotel in downtown Seoul. The Rex hotel in Saigon/ HoChiMin City, Viet Nam. We stayed with the missionaries in Guatemala, but saw the hotels by Lake Atitlan, up in the mountains near Quetzaltenango.
And the picture of the "orphanage" is very familiar to me, and many others. We were "expected" on arrival at the orphanage; everyone was being fed; every child was dressed nicely; we were given special food at the "orphanage going-away party." We placed our gifts to the orphanage on the desk of the director, and never knew who got what. We didn't see any of the gifts brought by the hundreds of AP's before us. We saw what they wanted us to see. We went into the back rooms where all the babies were laying on huge beds with mosquito netting all around them. We saw their hungry eyes as they watched us. And thanks to Kerry, I now know what these babies were thinking of us; and it makes me very uncomfortable.
Thanks for bringing up these memories...
I don't know about you....
but I sure as hell want to throw-up. But I'm used to that feeling when I tap into old-stuff.
What fascinates me is this on-going belief that the sending countries are to blame.
Don't American PAP's know or recognize their role in all of this?
Don't Americans see how the US version of the not-yet ratified UNCRC Treaty contributes to this growing development, making all that is covered-crap in Adoptionland possible?
Talking about the Sheraton
Talking about the Sheraton ... The Hilton isn't bad either.
And would you believe how many complaints you can hear in forums that
it is so dirty over there
you can't drink the water, not even brush your teeth with the water
you can't even eat salad there.
The maids are incredibly lazy.
And worst of all: They all come and beg you can't move around freely in the street.
Not to forget the taxi drivers who rip you off...
With this attitude folks carry home their baby and book a heritage/culture camp for their next holiday.
And they will SWEAR that they respect the culture of the sending country.
More from Guatemala
The adoption years must have been very good for the Hotel business in Guatemala too. Look at these adoption-friendly accommodations:
Crowne Plaza Hotel
Westin Camino Real
Vista Real Hotel
Hotel Princess (Hilton)
The latter actually looks more like the place to go for a romantic getaway, though in the heydays of Guatemalan adoption, the lobby was probably filled with gloating AP's and crying babies.
Damn, it's better than Disney, that's for sure!
I'm just blown away by this aspect of the adoption process!
I remember reading posts on Adoption.con about the "bonding" experience AP's had when picking up "their children" from the local orphanage. They likened it to the waiting-room/delivery room in a hospital.
I gave birth 3 times, to four babies. Lemme tell all who will read, not ONCE did my "delivery" experience come remotely CLOSE to the following:
I got fourth degree lacerations, (that's one big gaping hole from vagina to rectum, for those who don't know...), a child who almost died during delivery, and intestines that shut-down after they were finally free to go back to their proper anatomical place (for months my poor gut had to share room with 2 unborn baby bodies. My intestines finally had room after the two babies (one 6.7 pounds, the other 7.2 pounds) were removed, via C-section. It took days for my insides to forgive me.) Oh, and I had a hub who wanted to sleep, and couldn't wait to leave, so he could eat.
No freebies, no fun breakfasts, no late-morning wake-up calls -- no fun bonding moments in a luxurious hotel, that's for sure. No relaxing music, either... just the sound of call bells, the sounds of women screaming or groaning, and newborns crying. I got super huge industrial size sanitary pads and super cool and chic net underpants to keep them in-place. I got a free cheap diaper bag filled with formula samples and coupons, too -- perfect for the lactating/breast-feeding mom. I got a hosptal bill, too.
Closest I got to luxury was a family trip to Disney.
Ever do Disney in the thick of a heat-wave, surrounded by a hundred million complaining people and their annoying whining kids?!?!
<looking for my bottle>
I'm in the wrong biz... that's for damn sure.
Look! "It's just like ME!"
Going Home Barbie
What in the world was Mattel thinking? Nothing like trivializing "Gotchya Day". So sad.
What's next "Super Sitter Skipper"?
What little Chinese girl just wouldn't love...a blonde Barbie to commemorate leaving her homeland?! WOW! Wish I got one. NOT!
Thanks for showing so much sensitivity Mattel!
In the fine-print
Oh, I have no doubt Going Home Barbie has friends, like Felicia, the Facilitator, Brenda, the Broker, and Pete, the local pedophile priest... still, I have two questions of my own -- given the reputation of products made in China, do these dolls have toxic moveable/chokable parts, and if there is a re-call (aborted/returned adoption), does the doll have to go, too -- or can the doll be sold in a local garage-sale for some lucky local in-need of a new, slightly used doll?
What are the rules that go with this Going Home gift? I'd love to read the fine-print, because that's the sort of hair-pin I am.
How about Kenya?
Of course, there are other options these days. They will require a longer stay (a real long one, in comparison), but a real comfortable one in a cozy seaside accommodation with the option to go on a safari while nannies take care of your kid.
In Kenya, a European Agency has built a centre for young mothers and a guest house for adopting couples, all on the same compound. For more information, check out this site:
The article makes you believe that they are striving hard to promote the rights of Kenyan women. In a recent report on their work, the business owner comments on his intentions. Our message is: Girls. You are in charge here in Africa. Because lots of the men are no good.
He himself seems to be a very different sort of man. One that helps young mothers:
To ensure that no more babies will have to die,xxx initiated the project: A village for young mothers. xxx is the chairman of the charity xxx and xxxx, an Augsburg adoption agency.
Very few people might begrudgingly ask whether so much unselfishness isn‘t too good to be true. Questions might come up like: Does their involvement in charity have something to do with their adoption business? But fortunately (for them), it’s only very, very few people who have such suspicious minds.
"He seems different"
As a female who has gotten many lines in my life, the inner-cynic had to laugh when I read,
I for one don't buy into the story that adoption helps the birthing mothers in any real positive way, with foreign adoption being the least helpful for all family members involved. Adoption, the act, unloads an unwanted baby, without the guilt abortion brings. Unloading is unloading, dumping-off is dumping off, walking away is walking away, and a sin is a sin in my book. That being the foundation to my 'doing living mothers a favor' theory, how, again, does adoption benefit the child and 'other mother' -- through the adoption agency and it's many wonderful services? As I have seen it (as it has been brought to my attention), many many BIG name adoption agencies have had reps lie to the APs about the children, and turned a blind eye and deaf ear to the pleas for help. There are many AP's with children going down the tube, but the response given by well-paid adoption agency executives "concerned about adoption issues and the best interest of the child"? Ah, yes, the paid middle-man's first claim, a classic, is "More money is needed for better services".
Of course, more money is needed...(um, wasn't that the original problem? More money was needed, so proper child-care could be provided?)
Same game, different victims.... why more do not see it is well beyond me. Seems deaf ears and blind eyes are rampant in Adoptionland. Seems people prefer to remain in the dark, and not see how generous donations and gifts given through abortion-alternative adoption services help the already wealthy, and NOT the poor. [Ah, God must reallllllllly love the infertile, with cash!]
The more I learn, the more I realize very rare is that adoption agency that does come close to meeting the needs of the parents with difficult needs, spelled "difficult child". The director of an adoption agency, the one who proves year after year he/she truly cares about long-term outcomes? Very rare. Maybe some good-guys exist when an adoption agency is small and limited, but the effect money seems to have on people... it changes people in negative ways... making them less concerned about the little guy who needs more than an average amount of care and attention. [Time is money, folks].
I think the money + supply + demand equation explains why so many adoption agency directors love the infant programs so much... it's EASY to outsource baby-makers and pediatric services. The doctors and programs are a dime a dozen, the poor, guilt ridden pregnant females are plentiful, and there is very little liability when a "trained professional' takes over the case. Besides, who doesn't want the primal wounded baby to mend and nurture, (compared to care for the more"difficult", complex, older child)? If adoption agency directors really cared about the mothers and children, they'd focus more on the older children, leaving the mothers with birthed newborns to health professionals/services that help promote and encourage the natural bond that develops between birth mother and birthed child. [An example of such an existing service is Nurse-Family Partnership programs.]
Here's the glitch most people don't want to admit -- services for the poor (and single/unmarred) cost money, and few really want to fix the social problems that lead to "unwanted pregnancies". Few want to "waste" their hard earned dollars on those that can be seen as lazy deadbeats or not likely to raise themselves out of their social class. Instead, people want to "donate to charity", provided they get to receive a small token that tells others, "LOOK at me... look how great I am... look at all I did and all I spent... all on losers who could never get any better without the likes of me to raise them out of the gutter. And LOOK, I help minorities, people with a very different color than me! See how NOT racist I am!! See? I have proof, too, just to show those who doubt what a great generous non-narcissistic person I can be. LOOK at my beautiful rainbow colored children I collected, while on my travels!"
AUGH! Can there be a more annoying "altruistic" adopter saving gestational orphans ("relinquished/abandoned" infants) found in places like Kenya, Ethiopia, Haiti.....?
But tell this to adopters who insist they adopted for all the right reasons.
And then ask them how/what they think when truth about key players in the adoption process hits the news:
I still maintain one of the most heroic men of our times was a man who went back to his homeland to help his own-kind. [See: Haing Ngor, Orphans, Orphanages, Cambodia ] Such a damn shame he was killed... but that's how things operate in this world -- the good guys go first, leaving the rest to fight over who gets the children and the women.
Kerry, you raised a few
Kerry, you raised a few important points here. Let me add one more. I just looked through this agency flyer and I could hardly believe my eyes. The whole talk about welfare in Kenya is based on a simple imperialistic ideology, which clearly shows in the ad. One part in particular speaks volumes of how this company really think about the women they pretend to serve.
The ageny owner brags how he found the time to teach a woman who had been living in an African grass-hut all her life. He actually tought her - How to use a broom! He says he had to. After living with a mud floor all her live, she wasn‘t even aware of the existence of dust and dirt.
Well, I bet that must have changed by now.
Seriously – do you believe anyone would buy something like that?
Looking to buy a bridge?
Unfortunately, those with a limited operating/functioning BS detector are very prone to being fooled by those trying to sell the concept that there is good in every person considering the adoption option. Think about all the people who so desperately want to believe there is nothing but good in others... then think about all the nice sweet caring, well-informed
bridge buildersadoption facilitators, around the globe, (and on the Internet), making the international adoption industry what it is today.
BTW... my BS radar is uber-sensitive; that makes me not well-liked in many adoption-friendly circles.
It's sad, really.
It reminds me how a bunch of smart doctors taught a bunch of pregnant women pregnancy and child birth are/were medical conditions, requiring sterile hospital surroundings for "safe" births.
This is what infuriates me, as a female who was forced to become an American, -- why are so few women fighting for these women being preyed upon so they may be used like cheap breeding whores, and taught new ways how to keep a family and home? (Who is to say "my ways" are best?) And given the reputation of rabid women lib groups, why are American women condoning this type of treatment against other women around the world? [Don't American women see how reproductive exploitation is a Woman's Rights issue?] For all my fellow nerdy-nerds following this, feel free to read: ASAC adds an addenda to the description of the racist misogynistic ... maternity camp propaganda video that it screened, as it just adds to the mix in a way that shows how the adoption industry likes to work and exist, without too many nay-sayers getting in the way.
<big breasty heavy sigh>
This is why I think adoption facilitators should wear some sort of identifying piece of clothing... like a T-shirt, or hat with the picture of the Brooklyn Bridge on it... something that represents the con-artists these people really are. Most of them are nothing more (or less) than sales-people, anyway... like car salesmen or real-estate agents. I just have yet to decide, which is the worst of the breed -- the ones who get paid a salary or commission to convince and coerce, or the ones who work for free -- convince and coerce, on a free-time, volunteer basis.
In either case, the sales-facilitator has a simple job: tell the unsuspecting person, "Yes, that dream is available, and I can help you make that dream a reality, all for little money, up-front. All you need is to sign this paper, as a small legal formality (just don't read the fine print... but if you do, don't worry it's all in Greek anyway, it has nothing to do with you, or your rights, or what you will have to sacrifice, really... it's all good... trust me.)"
This is the actual blemish
This is the actual blemish many people don't wish to confess -- providers for your inadequate (as well as single/unmarred) have a price, and also handful of actually want to repair the actual sociable conditions that cause "unwanted pregnancies". Few desire to "waste" their particular precious bucks upon those who is seen since very lazy deadbeats or otherwise not more likely to elevate on their own away from their own sociable school. Rather, individuals desire to "donate to be able to charity", as long as they arrive at get a little symbol in which informs other people, "LOOK from myself... appear just how excellent I'm... take a look at just about all I did so and all sorts of My partner and i put in... just about all about nonwinners which might in no way have any far better with no enjoys regarding myself to improve all of them from the gutter. And appearance, We assist unprivileged, individuals with a really various colour compared to me personally! See exactly how Not necessarily improper I will be!! Observe? I possess evidence, as well, in order to display those that uncertainty exactly what a fantastic nice non-narcissistic particular person I will end up being. LOOK within my gorgeous range tinted kids We gathered, during my personal moves!