Child "disciplined" with hot sauce and cold showers!

I've just seen this link shared in discussion on PEAR. It is wrong on so many levels that I don't really know where to start! The seven year old boy is a Russian adoptee, and video was shot by the ten year old daughter. His adoptive mother says she thinks he has reactive attachment disorder? Who the hell could attach to a mother who treats you like that?

Jessica, a mom of six, says she’s angry all the time and struggles to parent her adopted 7-year-old son. She sent Dr. Phil a shocking home video that brought many audience members to tears. It’s an intense Dr. Phil you don’t want to miss!


How to control and discipline: HOT topic

I'm of the age where spanking the shit out of a person for wrong-doing was considered a smart/good thing.  Of course, I had a hysterical Amother who liked to throw things like hot cups of tea or ice-skates when she got angry, and my all-too-often pissed-off Adad liked to grab hair from the scalp, (and throw said scalp with attached body to the closest wall)... so 'smart response to anger reaction' has always been a strange, sick, demented, confusing issue for me.

The first time I read about spicing a child's palate, in the name of correct parent-disciplining, was when I read the case of a so-called 'salt poisoning' done to soon-to-be-formally adopted four year old Andrew Burd.

I myself, am a mother to four children.  I am the first to admit kids can be a total pain in the ass.

I read in horror, the following done to a four year old boy... done by a loving Christian parent, for God-knows what reason:

"This case boils down to a woman who, basically, tortured a child," said prosecutor Sandra Eastwood, "becoming so enraged she forced him to have 23 teaspoons of hot pepper and then watching him die in agony."

More completely insane to me was the supporting community response:

The Overtons' church community saw the accusations against Hannah and Larry as ludicrous and rallied around the couple, raising nearly $700,000 for their defense.

Yes, I am sure God and Jesus would love to know children were having pepper-salts poured down adopted children's throats.  [Holy - - - - ! ]

I go black when I read crap like that.  Apparently, in some circles, the right to instruct/discipline comes WAAAAAAY before the right to safety.  Funny... in all my years in nursing, not once have I had a class or in-service instructing me the human need for control and subordination (discipline)  supersedes the human need for safety.    (Must have missed that day in class.)

As unbelievable much of this mode-of-arrogant parenting may seem, I take the time to think about the many adult adoptees who contact me, privately.... the ones who hate their lives, the ones who hate their families, the ones who hate their marriages, the ones who hate every living soul surrounding them, yet wish to find a way to survive, and find a sense of love and a modicum of peace and happiness.

<always delving, always thinking, yet finding the strength to sigh a vacant sigh>

I grew-up in a time and community where everyone thought every single adoptive parent was a God-send.

NOTHING brings me more hope (for future adoptees) than the outraged response I see/hear/read  coming from those current-day APs who find a fellow AP's actions/behavior not only unacceptable, and somewhat offensive, but find those AP's to be revolting and abusive.  [Take time to swallow and digest the deeper meaning behind this revelation.]

My question remains unchanged, as it is a question I have been asking my entire bloody life --  HOW can this sort of adoption placement (putting an adoptable child among those who have no real sense of 'safe environment', or an ability to respect safe boundaries) be prevented? 

No kidding

"His adoptive mother says she thinks he has reactive attachment disorder? Who the hell could attach to a mother who treats you like that?"



...and yet

there are those who still expect that same child to bond, attach, AND be grateful for the new adoptive parents/family.

Crazy, isn't it?




Hot sauce mom, f you

You know what I think? I think that who the sick losers are that do the thing to children , sooner or later will be justified, " the child , sooner or later will feel the sour and bitter that their parents had eaten the rotten plum" saying fro bible. I would do the same thing only in more pleasant place for that sick "mother" body so she can always feel and enjoy that. How could ever anyone be called human not to say a mom. F them,!!!

hot sauce mom

what a parent does should never exceed common sense when disciplining children, and a little chilli sauce or a cold shower is not abuse by any means in my opinion, however, it is not ok if the sauce is so hot it can cause harm, or the shower so cold there can be a risk of hyperthermia. Regardless of the obvious debate that this topic will undoubtedly cause amonst parents worldwide, about whether it is more appropriate than smacks or more inappropriate, i must call in to question the need for crazy angry discipline at all. I am ex military and grew up in a household where my mother literally had a metre long ruler she would throttle me with. To get me to do homework, i was locked in a room with an alarm clock outside, when it went off, my homework was perfect or i had no dinner and was smacked, my schools were no better, my teacher regularly stole my crisps from my lunchbox, punched her knuckles on my head or grabbed me by the ears and dragged me across the floor, i have had the cane, the slipper and a good old handbagging, with several school issue octagonal weights in the handbag, all by the head mistress. She used to use towel days as a form of discipline! Every child at school had their bag checked at random occasions. If you had a towel on a non towel day, you were punished, and if it was a towel day and you didn't have one, likewise! Lol, totally insane, the moral of the story was, you will be punished for being alive unless you guess correctly every day! My father had his hand on me many times too, but i don't care to go into that as it hurts to bring it up, (he was much tougher, a good kicking in public was not unheard of). All the while, i never hurt or killed anyone, rarely dared answer back and wasn't prone to destroying stuff, so i trully don't recall why i was punished. I may have been slightly hyperactive, but it wasn't so bad that it was a cause for the ritalin i was forced to take or the hours listening to the droning voice of a psychiatrist, because i didn't do what i was told! I can tell you now that one of the main reasons for this discipline was both my parents insistant belief that i must eat eggs, and my lack of desire to comply on account or my constant vomiting whenever i did... the only good egg is a chocolate egg, lol!
However i digress and whinge, the point is i have been with the same woman ( the only sexual partner i have ever had ), for 11 and a half years, and we have a ten year old girl, we do not smack her, or kick her, or force feed her, or ever neglect to feed her, lol, or give her hot sauce and cold shower punishments. She can be a bit of a shit sometimes when she wants to answer back, can't we all, but she is a good child who simply argues once in a while because she knows us to be wrong, and only when she knows we are. In these cases, sometimes it really is her who is wrong, it is then proven to her satisfaction and she apologises, other times, we are wrong and we likewise apologise. We achieve this satisfactory life with her rather than a hateful domineering one, because we treat her with the same respect we expect from her, it's not that hard to understand right? The problem with previous generations of parents, is, they were so fixated on the rules and the discipline, that they forgot that kids are people too and have every right to an opinion, especially when they are right! There is no point telling kids we love them then treating them in any other way than a loving parent should! Firm but fair yes, hot sauce and cold showers? Definitely not!

Pound Pup Legacy