Fourth Annual Demons of Adoption Award Nominations

Yesterday several people contacted us to nominate LDS Family Services:

I picked LDS Family Services because they have women at the churches to be spotters for single pregnant girls/women. They show films about how single girls should give their babies up. Also even after the mother brings her baby home and it is weeks or months later they are eagerly waiting for depression or being overwhelmed as it is never too late to do the "right thing." If you go to their web site you will see what I mean. There is some catchy saying about not giving your child up but giving them love. Need more info? They have ads on the BYU (Church) channel. They use young "birth mothers" to speak to single pregnant girls so they know what a great decision it is to give that baby up. And the families waiting are so so so grateful and superior etc.
One girl I heard about they had her talk to an adult man who had been raised by a single mom so he could share with the already frightened pregnant girl, his grim story of growing up.
You can be selfish or you can do what God wants you to do which is what is best for the child which is give that baby up.

Another nomination said:

Without a doubt: Latter Day Saints Family Services (LDSFS), the second largest NCFA member. Not only does it fight adoptees' rights, but it participates in thwarting of birthfathers' rights by approving the luring of pregnant women from their home states to Utah, where the fathers' home-state "putative father registries" are meaningless.

Another "notorious" nominee, the Joint Council on International Children's Services was mentioned:

I could only nominate the JCICS....they are the epicenter of everything bad in adoption....the new NCFA....NCFA by contrast is virtually the Holy Grail.

One nomination was even more specific, nominating JCICS's CEO Tom DiFilippo

Took much thought to narrow this down, but I nominate Tom DiFilipo for the 2010 award.

At this point I think he represents the worst of the agency apologists.

Someone sent us the following nomination:

I hereby nominate WE TV (www.wetv.com) for their hideously exploitative series ‘Adoption Diaries,’ turning what is a highly emotive and complex topic into ‘reality’ show fodder. As close runner-up, WE TV’s companion series ‘The Locator’. Host Troy Dunn has never been an adoption rights activist’s darling and has a past bad ‘rap sheet’ for charging inordinate sums of money to people for documents that should be theirs by right.

WE somehow managed to showcase two of the worst examples of adoption practice – both pre- and post-adoption – and make money off it.

received via email

I was born in SC in 1976. The attorneys who handled my private adoption were Victor\ia Eslinger and Lucy M. Knowles. (Eslinger & Knowles, Attorneys at Law)
 
Ms. Eslinger still handles family law cases, as I understand it. 

I am not sure how involved Ms. Eslinger was with my case; I have a few letters written by Lucy, which mention Victoria having contacted my parents about the “availability of an adoptable baby.”

When I had contacted them back around 1995 to ask for non-identifying information and to check their files to see if my birth mother gave them permission to release any information to me, neither was very helpful. First, they insisted that I get my adoptive parents permission - even though I was 18. Then because their law firm had been defunct for some time, each claimed the other one had my file.  Finally, Lucy told me (in a very annoyed and mean manner) that the files have been destroyed. I asked if there had been a flood or fire but was then told the files were just destroyed after 7 years (which I have discovered is allowed under SC law and they are not required to give copies to the state for future reference). To this I angrily responded that I was not a tax return.
 
Luckily, my adopters saved every shred of paperwork they received. The only non-id I have is written in a letter to them and consists of the following: The natural mother is very intelligent and athletic. She has curly brown hair and brown eyes. She is of some Native American background. (Which I have found out to be a lie. DNA testing has proved there to be no Native blood.) The natural father has blond hair and blue eyes.
 
Four years later, when I did find my birth mother (without any help from Eslinger & Knowles), all the lies came to light. They told my birth mother (who was 16 and under pressure from her own mother) that a South Carolina Doctor and Nurse were adopting me. This could not be farther from the truth. My adoptive parents were from New Jersey; my a-father was a Public Accountant and my a-mother was a Legal Secretary at that time. My birth mother was not allowed to question them when they told her to sign a paper, which allowed me to be adopted out of SC. 
 
My birth mother also told me that she wrote a letter and asked to have it given to my adoptive parents, hoping they would give it to me when I turned 18. My adoptive parents received no such letter. My birth grandmother also confirmed the existence of this letter. My birth mom also told me that around the time I was 7, she wrote a letter to the attorneys asking for information about me. She wanted to know if I was okay and how I was coming along; she did not ask for anything that would identify me or tell her where I was. She said she received no response from them.
 
When I wrote to Eslinger and Knowles again around 2000 to inquire about the letter and my birth mom’s inquiry, I received letters of denial from both attorneys. However, Lucy Knowles was quick to call me and tell me very non-chalantly that my birth mother was lying and that no such letter was ever written. (And if you conveniently destroyed my file back in 1983, then how would you remember for sure that no letter was ever written?)
 
Anyway, this is why I nominate both of them as Demons in Adoption. 

For masquerading as a 501 (c) (3) organization and continuing to accept donations after their corporation was dissolved in Missouri in November 2009 for failure to file an annual report. This includes soliciting for donations in violation of state laws.

For failing to remove state reps who were openly working against open access for adult adoptees, for years in one instance!

For failing to oppose legislation in Illinois that creates two classes of adoptees, those whose records were sealed retroactively but who now can obtain them and every other adoptee who continues to be deprived of their rights. This legislation was initially drafted by AAC's state rep in IL.

For sloppy business practices and slipshod management that allowed these things to happen and for refusing a financial accounting to members requesting it. 

For refusing to disclose the by-laws that govern the board's actions to the general membership.

For using donations to pay for travel expenses of their board members. 

For encouraging individual state representatives to form separate 501 (c) (3) groups to raise money for AAC expenses.

For attempting to claim credit in their e-letter for the successful work of the Adoptee Rights Day/ Adoptee Rights Coalition and other adoption reform groups and violating personal property rights by appropriating and using photographs without photographer credit or compensation.

If this organization is the friend of adoption reform, we don't need enemies. Reformers who want to see real change should be wary of this group and any organization or individual affiliated with them.