who placed more kids with this woman???
from a blog board.... all she does is complain about the kids... all the time... all, all, all the time... and some nut gave her 4-5 more... how much more abusive could someone had been?
- Gender: Female
- Astrological Sign: Taurus
- Occupation: Domestic Goddess
- Location: Deep South : United States
I am the mother of 12 children, 6 are part of a large sibling group we adopted through foster care in 2006, 1 is our first foster daughter together, 1 is from an independent infant adoption in 2001, 3 are her half siblings here waiting to become a legal part of our family, and 1 is ours through Legal Guardianship since 2008. Every one of them has their own issues to work through from Schizo-Affective Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Complex PTSD, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Sensory Integration Dysfunction, ADHD, and Cerebral Palsy. Most of our children have been victims of sexual abuse by a close family member, several are currently acting out sexually or are exhibiting predatory behaviors. We currently are forced to video every inch of our home and provide line of sight supervision to keep every one safe. Rosa-28, Cyr-14, Patches-12, Ruthie-11, Michael-10, Sawyer-9, Emma-9, Ava-8, Ella-8, Anna-7, Kiera-2, and Wyatt-2. Grandchildren include Alyssa-8, Eddie-7, and Gigi-4.
- Spending time on therapists waiting rooms
- making numerous therapy appointments
- shutting the bathroom lights off for the hundreth time each day
- flushing toilets ramdomly
- IEP meetings
- constantly reassuring my children this is for real
- teaching my children to play appropriately
- wiping faces or noses too many times to count
- and shopping for the many items the kids need for tomorrow that they forgot to tell me they volunteered me to bring.
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- 13573 reads
Another Gem Adopter
Trust me this won't be the first "Child Collector" Karen Sue Tolin who is all over the web, is another one right up her alley pimping her disabled adoptees off on all kids of cyberbegging site looking for "donations" for things that we all know are paid for with the "package deal" of adopting SN kids. Can you say GREED?
It's all about the subsidy, aside from the sociopathic behavior.
I plan on doing an entire thread on this kids of stuff. I would be mortified if I knew my adopters were capitalizing off me. Sickening, just sickening!!!
What's even sicker is the idiots that look at these adopters like they were saints. Take away the subsidy and I ll bet they wouldn't be collecting so many kids.
Another thing toois most of these adopters have very little actual parenting. These kids come with personal aids, all kids of day care programs and very little out of pocket expense.
Believe me, I am exceptionally heated over this.
Got a good laugh re-reading the original post.
Sounds like such a safe wonderful homey place to live, doesn't it? Hey... who volunteers to live there next? I'm sure they can find an opening.
Oh, you mean like Judith Leekin who 'earned' more than $1 million (in subsidies) for the care and attention she gave her "Special' brood? [What? Those
zip ties and handcuffs were funcarefully selected restraints kept them SAFE!] Or Renee Bowman, who sacrificed side-by-side freezer space, so she could collect over $2600 per month for the one surviving adopted sibling? [Yes, those murdered adoptees were 'Special', too... earning all sorts of Super Duper Saintly AParenting Subsidy Points.) Or do you mean adopters like the pompous Pompas, the 1.4 million dollar orphan-savers who only took what they thought was 'legally' and therefore rightfully (?) theirs? [You know, it's not easy taking-in a virtual stranger into your home, and treating that person as 'one of your own'..... there's a lot of work and sacrifice involved.]
Indeed, I would grow very sick knowing my Aparents were taking money away from me..... but then again, my Amother actually did. [That's a whole 'nother story, I learned well after-the-fact.]
Ah... the parents who need breaks. I know them well, and lemme tell ya, spoiled lazy Breeders, needing spa-treatments and extended solo vacations because the kids are just 'too much', can be just as bad and annoying.... especially if the complaining parent has only 1 or 2 kids and two very involved extended families who like to babysit.
Here's the problem, as it seems to reveal itself more and more in adoption blogs and adoption-related news articles, adopters are admitting they are indeed facing serious difficulties with their foreign or fostered children. Many claim the new-family additions came with pre-existing conditions like RAD, 'institutional autism', and whatever other phrase fits the almost typical adoptee profile going out these days -- you know, the one that claims the previously unwanted child behaves like an animal or pint-sized psychopath, until, of course New Mommy and Daddy fix that problem-child with special skilled treatment-therapy sessions, and of course, LOVE. These unsuspecting, ill-prepared parents are in way over-their-head and they're seeing a whole new every-day reality. [See: Trouble in Adoptionland and listen to the media-supported 'professional' hype, and ask, how in the world is money for post-adoption services being spent?!?!? ]
Scary, isn't it?
And still, as long as AP's blog about RAD and attachment disorders as their own breed of Special Needs, and go into great detail about the problems they, (the parents/adults) face - financially, emotionally, physically - the band-wagon for more government-paid-breaks for American adopters will keep growing. Is that such a bad thing? Not necessarily. As long as assistance given to parents is reasonable and fair, and challenging children are responding to safe, appropriate care/treatment favorably, there should be no major problems. However, I tend to believe assistance given to parents is NOT fair.... never has been. Those with more money are almost always given more perks, breaks, special allowances and favors, than those with less money. It's a class-social thing, and the Haves rarely ever have to do without. [Ah, yes... I can hear the critical reply...."Who ever said life was fair, equal or even?" Not the manufactured orphan, that's for damn sure.]
Truth is, there are lots of parents who need help with the many difficult problems that come with children who are born less than perfect....children born with AFS, autism, heart defects, CF, epilepsy, Down's Syndrome, etc. Often times, the help a parent needs is not locally available AND that help tends to be very very expensive.... especially if it's decided the very sick child needs long-term hospitalization OR the 'very disturbed and troubled' (spelled: dangerous) child needs to live in a Residential Treatment Center, aka, an institution. But here's a very essential point to make: Who says only adopted children have these very expensive special needs? Who says only adopters need extensive tax breaks, financial assistance for much needed health services, and subsidized respite care? In other words, do first-parents get government subsidies to care for 'difficult' children, and their needs, or is it only the adopters who are given these special breaks? [I'm not being hyper-critical, I honestly don't know, because I'm very very fortunate, my husband always had great health insurance, and I learned to live with four young children, three with health-issues, without any extended family assistance.]
So I continue with more questions.... How does government subsidy payment (for care) get decided? Is it based on what label is given an adopted child? [See: CPS Psych Evals and Adoption Norms For Foreigners ] Or is financial assistance for the adopter always a standard sliding-scale given, based on parent salary, marital status, minority status, and XYZ factors? Last but not least, is subsidy-check-spending monitored, and if so, by whom.... the issuing government? Based on the many things I see/read in real-life and in our abuse pages, there is nothing fair and appropriate about the way in which very unlucky adoptees are treated by their adoptive abusers. That's just the way it is, and always has been.
Still, all in all, the public must continue to praise, not criticize or question, adoption advocates, adopters and all the money that goes into raising a child The American Adopted Way. Gawd forbid all American AP's are not shown thanks and high-fivin' two-thumbs-up moral support, especially by their purchased/subsidized children.
We'll see how our prison system looks in another decade. Exciting, isn't it?
Adoption/Fostering...as a form of employment...
Let me start by saying...HOORAY! It is about time others see the truth behind these blogging parents of all of these children that are, unfortunately, dumped into a hellish environment.
Yes, a lot of adoptive parents adopt because they actually WANT to be parents...but there are many, many adoptive parents that do it for a paycheck. It isn't a myth...it's a horrible fact. This "Tudu" is doing just that. The children in her care have been "diagnosed" by numerous therapists and physicians with disorders that are horrific...and, therefore, heavily medicated. CHA-CHING. More cash in her pocket. Some/most of the children in her care have been "diagnosed" with "handicaps". CHA-CHING. More cash in her pocket. "Tudu" has accused the children of sexual misconduct, physical abuse, verbal abuse and much, much more... DFCS didn't step in because they are on a witch hunt to stop all parents from blogging...they FINALLY stepped in because too many people have filed complaints/reports and enough is simply enough. I believe some of the children that were in her care "illegally" have been removed...but what about the ones that were sent to treatment centers and, while there, showed NO SIGNS of the "issues" that were alleged by "Tudu"? What happens to them? Do they go back to their drug-induced life until they are old enough to run away? It isn't ok. They are innocent victims of a horrific household.
Another awful child collector
Yet another awful child-collecting family: The Unroes.
This godly Christian family has 18 kids - 17 of whom are adopted and have special needs. They simultaneously adopted 5 unrelated chdren with severe SN from Bulgaria over the summer -- and are already in the process of adopting 3 more SN Bulgarian children.
21 kids. One crazy child collecting family - oh, and they're begging for $$ online to complete these adoptions. Barf!!!
I see Karen Sue Tolin is
I see Karen Sue Tolin is still all over the web cyber begging for those kids. Poor daughter Kim is always made to pose for pictures with out her limbs attached to gain more. Now Karen Sue Tolin, just got over $9000.00 for a service dog for Kim. Also she just was on Tree of wishes and asked for a blender for food ,and her wish was granted. She claims she needed to make her special needs kids food. I know if that was the only way I could feed my child I would have a extra blender just in case one broke. This women has been begging for years all over the internet. I wish people would open their eyes and see what a scammimg lier she is. Has anyone seen the acres of land she owns? Also all the heavy farm equipment?
When posts/topics like this get posted, I get inundated with private emails offering names of groups/websites that unfortunately are not open to just anybody, like me. In fact, as I am told, and have seen for myself, various Yahoo groups often require manager approval to enter. According to fed-up APs, what this means is, the manager (owner of the site) first checks the applicants IPs addys (and the location of the person sending request). This info is confirmed with the inner-network members. Turns out, only friends of friends are free to join.
In many cases these sites, ran by APs, are part of the ever-growing underground AP networks -- independent (UNMONITORED/UNCHECKED) groups that help assist in the re-homing/ re-adoption of adoptees. Many of these adoption "facilitators" belong to fundamental religious groups known to use extreme forms of discipline/punishment as a way to teach how an adoptee ought to behave. (Oh yay, how lucky for the "troubled" adoptee!!)
In addition, in some cases, these networking APs help teach other "desperate" APs how to "earn" free money AND apply for the highest rate found in adoption subsidies programs. [All that's needed is a strong diagnosis like "Attachment disorder", "Reactive Attachment Disorder" or whatever learning disability earns the most in terms of subsidy -- money to cover the cost of a specific type of therapy.]
This undergrounding is a nightmare, on so many levels, and yet it grows and continues to go un-checked because it's so well hidden and protected.
And then look how the "involved" AP, like this one mentioned in this thread, looks to others on the internet.
I'm hoping others are seeing how and why it's so easy for an angry adoptee to hate APs....
Hidden on FB
re: Underground AP Networks You can't even find these networks if you wanted to join in the first place! You can only join if you have a FB friend that is already approved on that FB page and brings you in to join and approval is based on confirming who you are and that is up to the site manager.
What are they hiding?
Karen Tolin is being investigated after a teen boy was found being held in a cage bed with chains
The story is being covered by a local new station WNEM
They have been formally
They have been formally charged now. http://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw/index.ssf/2014/10/man_found_in_cage_hu...
I just went over to the blog Finishing off My Family, and I wonder how it can be in the interest of the child to be written about, for all to read. Just a quick scan of the blog, revealed names and photos of the children, with stories telling how horrible they are. It reminds me of the writings of Lori Gertz, blogging about the horrible girl she adopted and eventually got rid of, dumping her with a mega family in Washington State.
Why do certain adopters think it's okay to put out private information about the children they adopted, for the whole world to read? Don't these people think? As an adult they have every right to make an ass of themselves, but why include children in their emotional exhibitionism?
That is all I can say. I have seen parents of bios who have had unfortunate illnesses and yet recieve little to no help from the government. Yet as previously stated the same illnesses would yeild a hefty "subsidy" if the child was adopted.
How many times I have seen adopters caution other PAPS to not finalize and adoption UNTIL they have all the subsidy and services in place. It is almost like some sort of cult. My guess is intiatlly these "subsidies" were meant to be "insentives" to find homes for these kids,however they are being exploited by selfish self serving APs
.About 4 months ago a dear friend and well respected foster mom(one who fosters for all the right reasons) told me about this woman from Michigan who was being praised as a saint for adopting 9 SN children. I am talking poor innocent kids in wheelchairs and such. Now to the average onlooker this would appear to be such a wonderful thing, however upon further investigation the woman is clearly unbalanced and she admits so in her blog where she speaks of her childhood and depression along with suicide attempts.
Now this in itself would not be so bad but clearly this woman is using these children in order to obtain $$ and other material things because she happened upon a couple of cyberbegging sites where people eat this right up.
Karen Sue Tolin has no problem posting pictures of these kids while requesting money for medical needs and the irony is people have given her tens of thousands of dollars, even a van to accomodate her large "family"
Now anyone ho has been in the adoption community or has been around a.com knows very well that these kids are not lacking in ANY medical benefits. Shame on her for using those children to fatten her bank roll. Surely she has to be recieving ample subsidy as well benefits. Last time I looked she was begging for close to $20K for a prostetic leg for one of the children and had already recieved over 10K. on a site called Tree of Wishes.
This is the same woman who handed one of the children over to the underground (Schmitz) claiming she did not pay them. Of course she didn't pay them, she kept the subsidy check.
Just when I think I have seen it all I find myself with my jaw dropping to the floor once again especially if I take a stroll over to a.com SN board where the APs are fishing for some kind of label to place on their kids.
I have to say one thing, the adoptions of days gone by may have been terrible between coercion of Biomoms, closed adoption ect but this new breed of APs IMO is far worse. At least adopters of the olden days were not doing it to exploit and capiialize off their kids. I know for sure that my adopters would have just as soon died than do some of the things that this new generation does.
OH WOW!! SOMEONE IS LISTENING
I was just perusing different blogs and came across this little tidbit. Apparently the aforementioned Foster Monster had to sign an legal agreement that she would not ever blog again. The blog apperently places the children in danger.
They also removed 3 of the new additional children from her home. Yes Good Readers she and her hubby got 3 more kids. This is a must read!! The state showed up mean serious business.
Rachel Updates | From the Past into the Future
Here is an excerpt. Now they are requesting other foster and arents to write ltters on this womans behalf.
November 20, 2010 by Once Lost
Per Rachel (tudusamom) Court has been scheduled for Monday, November 22nd 2010 just days before Thanksgiving. She’s been contacted by tons of people offering to write letters of support regarding what they thought of her blog, learned from her blog, and how they felt her sharing it has helped them/others. Everyone was originally going to mail them to Rachel and her attorney. Now, though, they are out of time if the letters haven’t already been put in the mail.
Rachel has asked to have them faxed, sent as an attachment in an email or just as an email, notarized or not (my personal suggestion for those of you who can spare the extra bucks is to get the letters notarized and fax them in to authenticate you are who you say you are writing the statement to the court). You can contact Rachel directly at firstname.lastname@example.org to get the fax number, or to email in your letter.
On top of all that, her local county DFCS office has scheduled a worker to come out to their home Tuesday (11/23/2010) regarding the rest of the children.
FTR I got that info from this blog which is another doozy
Here is an excerpt:
I would link it again but I can't. I can't because she was forced to sign an affidavit promising to stop blogging all together by a social worker and a Department of Family Services that decided that her blogging placed her children in "imminent danger". That apparently talking about the reality of parenting special needs children, including the good, the bad and the really, really ugly, is not allowed in the state of Georgia. And because Rachel has written a public, and completely truthful account of life with special needs, and very difficult children, this same social worker is now attempting to remove the children from their home and family. The same home and family that has worked endlessly and tirelessly and for years to help their children heal and move beyond the trauma of the abuse they suffered while in the care of their family or origin and in the care of this same DFS system.
You can read more of this saga here. If you have benefited from Rachel's writings I would encourage you to reach out to support her, and her children during this awful time. Even if you would never blog yourself as honestly and as bluntly has she has, her children, without a doubt, cannot handle the trauma that DFS is trying to inflict on them this time. Their recovery, as much as it is, is because of her skill and efforts as a mother. I am a better mother because Rachel shared her journey and now she needs my support, and I am honored to provide it.
how do they know
they all say she is a great mom... how do they know... just cause she see what someone write how do you know what goes on at home?
Tudu and Jensmom were both on adoption.com forums... I was booted off...
but how do they know?
Jensmom reportedly adopted 2 boys from Missouri... Missouri the state of, sent 2 young boys out of the country... you'd of thought the USA could have parented the kids some how...
I'd like to say the IMO DSS, DCFS, what ever it is called where you live screws things up a lot. this is true with birth parents; group home; foster homes....
but the older I get the more I come to think if they have not killed a kid or are not having sex with the kids; they are probably better off staying with their birth home no matter what...
gee, happy I am not on the computer so much any more...
happy some one else saw the issue... if she is having that much trouble with kids acting out sexually, no one is going to get any better if more kids are dumped there...
Parents adopting kids, especially with special needs, should be willing enough to do it and do not just think of it as business. These kids deserve the love, care and understanding that were taken away from them. If these kids aren't well taken cared of, I wouldn't be surprised if they'd end up as troubled teens with uncontrollable behaviors. Let's just hope that won't happen. :( Chowder's owner, Parenting Mistakes
Love and care by the
Love and care by the adoptive parents do not guarentee the kid will avoid being a troubled teen or adult. Often the problems the children experienced before adoption are not "fixable" just by love and care. Sometimes even the specialists can't help, but sometimes they can, and different things may or may not work for different kids. Failure to produce a well-adjusted adult from a damaged child is not usually the fault of the adoptive parents except in the rare cases of abuse. Most adopt because they dearly want children, and many have happy well-adjusted kids, but many others pay in love and tears for years, in efforts to help their child.
Forgive my need to disagree...
as long as I live, this idea that 'most' (who adopt) are good and 'most' is good enough is pure bullshit. It's not enough "most" foster/adoptive parents do the right thing, because with that comes the fact that a large number of foster/adoptive parents are NOT doing the right thing... a large number are NOT good, a large number are NOT stable, a large number are NOT loving and a large number ARE selfish, putting many many children at-risk. Feel free to refer to our abuse cases to see how 'good' foster/adoptive parents can be. Feel free to discuss how 'damaged' each child was before adoption, and how 'damaged' the survivors became.
If, God forbid, your child was put in-care, for any reason, is 'most chosen parents are good' a risk any decent human being is willing to take?
I understand there are a lot of dregs of society breeding babies like they were hamsters... I understand there are lots of breeders not giving a rat's ass or a god-damn WHAT happens to their off-spring... I understand there are many adopted children with some serious F'ed up problems, but for just one moment, can we all agree 'most' - in terms of decent parents available in Adoptionland - is NOT nearly good enough for children forced to accept new parents? In ALL cases, adoptive parents need to be much better...much stronger... much more tolerant... than most people are willing to be. How many AP's fit that 'most' description?
The way I see it.... once the general public accepts the fact there are those who foster and adopt for all the WRONG reasons, maybe, just maybe adults will see... children put in-care (regardless of condition or predispostion) deserve better care and concern than they actually receive.
You couldn't be more right...
"Most" isn't enough. It should be "All". I, unfortunately, feel like almost all of the adoptive parents these days fit into the "most" category. The bar has been set so low. The accessibility to "special needs" children (ones deemed undesirable or actually have special needs) is too easy. The background checks aren't thorough enough. Home visits...what a joke. This "Tudu" is a prime example of how the system has failed the children, over and over again...the ones they are supposed to protect. There are so many more out there...slipping through the cracks... "Most" is not and will never be enough.
You all should be ashamed of
You all should be ashamed of yourselves. Have any of you read the entirety of Tudu's blog? I have personally met Tudu in person and she is none of this nonsense you all make her out to be. She is a wonderful person, a wonderful mother, her children have FLOURISHED in her care. She is selfless. For you all to put all this slander about her on the internet is just as bad as you all claim her blog speaking of her children is!
Hm... wasn't aware ALL were attacking one single person, without reason or purpose.
Personally, I believe the example presented represents a more common trend, experienced by many... and the topic deserves discussion.
It's a shame anonymous outsiders can't appreciate what it's like to learn the person you thought you knew, was actually someone/thing quite different, when in the seemingly private company of supportive friends, found on THE INTERNET.
Selfless? Are you kidding me? A woman who panhandles on a blog to buy things for the children she already over-medicates AND receives money from the state for surely is not the definition of selfless. Let's try lazy and incompetent. Those children "flourished" in her care? Really? Is that why she has managed to ship several of them out for "behavior issues" to RTC's or to various homes of relatives...and, outside of her "care" they show no signs of what she has accused them of? It seems these blogging adoptive parents all love to band together and claim they know each other "personally"...but clearly they do not (Kerry, you hit it right on the head). Whatever she said on her blog MUST be the truth because GOD KNOWS people don't exaggerate or manipulate situations to make themselves a victim or look to be the innocent party...especially on the internet.
You forgot to quote the bible!!!!!
her blog is back up
she is posting again... says they only took the 3 kids left the other (10 I guess)
Could someone please pm me about this woman I run a help site and was severly scammed by her
Karen Sue Tolin
I don't know what we can provide that isn't in the archives. It appears she lives in Michigan. she may have a blog, though I don't know the address of it. What happened?
I'm pretty sure you're
I'm pretty sure you're talking about the site I found Sue Tolin/Kim on and I sent Kim quite a few gifts. The thing that bothers me here is there's a LOT of people throwing her under the bus saying that she gets money from here and there for taking these kids in. How in the world do any of you know how much money she has or the fights she goes through daily dealing with insurance companies in regards to these kids and their medical conditions? I have seen SEVERAL pictures of her home and the kids in it and it doesn't look as though they have a pot to piss in to me. And yes, I seen pictures of all of the land she owns too, so does that mean her kids don't need helpa and she's rich? Get over yourselves, that's stupid. Should she sell all of her land and move to a smaller place with her kids? Ridiculous. I sent Kim several gifts that she could use/enjoy and in turn I received several pictures of her opening them, so I had proof they were received and in her hands/limbs (she does not actually have hands). I even received pictures of the drawings she did herself with the art set I sent. If all of you people are so sure she's frauding everyone then how about just don't send her money? Send stuff the kids can use. I mean the whole point here is that the kids are taken care of, right? I have absolutely no regrets for sending what I did and as a matter of fact, I'll do it again. That doesn't make me blind, stupid or gullible. It makes me a caring person that wants these kids to enjoy some aspect of their life with all of the disabilities they have to live with daily. I have no idea how much money she receives monthly for adopting these kids but who are all of you to "assume" she has plenty to go around? You have no idea! If I needed stuff (like a blender to feed kids that can't chew) and couldn't afford it, I'd ask for help too! Why don't you all get off of your high horses and let the woman do what she needs to do to get the supplies her kids need. It sounds as though just because all of you think she asks for so many items that all of the giving should stop, even if that means the kids go without. What an awful plan. Who ends up getting hurt? THE KIDS! Don't send money, send items THE KIDS CAN USE if you're so ready to believe she's frauding everyone. Reading half these posts just makes me feel sick, what a rotten world some of you live in. Now go ahead and let the bashing on me begin since I don't agree with your ridiculous way of thinking and leaving kids to suffer for what you "think" their parents are doing.
I have a question or two...
Is this AP receiving state-funded adoption subsidies? ... and if she and the kids are living in such poor conditions, how is it that she is able to be approved to adopt over and over again?
It is curious and makes one wonder how an agency would approved someone to adopt (in this case, over and over) if the basics are not available in a house, nor are the AParents able to provide them on their own. A blender for a child that can't chew? You would think that the AFamily would be able to purchase this for the child that they adopted.
yes it is me what would you like to know?????? i am fully aware of you, amy, and all the others who are trying to smear me all over the internet....unfortunately you have no clue as to who i truly am.....have a blessed day as i will as i know the truth.