Playing Angelina Jolie: Womb Raider

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Spoofing the orphan crusade and celebrity adoptions,  this Womb Raider clip may leave viewers wondering if international adoption is robbing third-world nations of their greatest natural resources:  children, with living parents.

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Average: 7 (1 vote)

Just throwing this out there....

In private, I have heard from many adoptees AND AP's sharing stories of disgust... how the arrogance of white Americans has gotten to be far too much and how adoption, itself, can be seen as an odd form of white supremacy.

For instance, at :34, in the other like-tagged video, Blah Girls on Celebrity Adoptions, it's suggested that if Pax wasn't adopted by a white celebrity (Angelina Jolie), he'd "still be pooping in a hole (in the jungle)".

Anyone care to share some thoughts on the matter? 

show-off

Isn't it funny how people want to present themselves so desperately as beyond racism, that they have to rely on methods that can be seen as a form of white supremacy.

I have an aunt and uncle, who joined the family tradition and adopted a child from Ethiopia. They are your typical new rich, California style, with the token black friend and the token black child. The kid barely sees his parents, because they are both too busy with their careers, but they do see themselves as having saved this "poor child". They think if it were not for them, the kid would not even know how to read and write. Amharic doesn't count of course, those are weird scribblings used by savages over there.

They might as well have purchased a reborn doll, but that probably would not have bought them the same prestige. Now they can both show off how they are beyond racism and how they saved a child from a horrible future.

Too bad the kid never sees its parents, they are too busy working and making sure they are seen in public.

130,269 domestic adoptions last year?

BY AL NEUHARTH • April 26, 2010

The controversy continues about the 7-year-old Russian boy adopted by a Tennessee woman who sent him back home alone to Russia because she couldn't handle him.

Russia has suspended adoption of its kids by Americans. A U.S. delegation is scheduled to go there next week to try to get Russian officials to change their minds.

Neither move should be necessary. But the incident tells would-be adoptive parents across the U.S. that things generally work out better if they adopt in this country rather than abroad.

My wife, Rachel, and I have six adopted children, now ages 10 to 19. All were adopted at birth. They come from varied backgrounds. Alexis, the oldest, has a birth mother from Pennsylvania. Twins Ali and Rafi, the youngest, from Georgia. Karina, 13, and Andre and Ariana, 12-year-old twins, from Florida.

Before we adopted, we considered Russia, China and Venezuela. But Rachel convinced me that through her contacts -- primarily with schools and churches -- we'd find American birth mothers who for good reason couldn't keep their children and our chances of successful adoptions would be better here at home. She was right.

For would-be parents wishing to adopt, it's important to know that kids are available. Facts from the National Council For Adoption:

  • Last year, 143,022 children were adopted by U.S. parents.
  • 130,269 of those were domestic adoptions.
  • Of the 12,753 foreign adoptions, only 1,586 were from Russia.Despite the number of domestic adoptions, Council officials say that for the last available year (2008), there still were 123,000 children in U.S. foster homes. Most were available for adoption. Parenthood is one of the greatest pleasures -- and challenges -- in life. It should be carefully planned. Especially adoptions.

FEEDBACK

 "Every child, whether born in Moscow or Minneapolis, deserves a loving family. We need to cut through the red tape in the adoption process for families adopting kids internationally and here at home."-- Sen. Amy Klobuchar, D-Minn., sponsor of a bill to streamline the international adoption process  "Americans adopt more children than the people of any other nation. In considering adoption, prospective parents should do their homework and adopt only when they can commit themselves to the child's best interests."

-- Chuck Johnson, National Council For Adoption
-- Al Neuharth is the founder of USA TODAY.

Ungrateful bastard treatment in USA comes from slaveocracy

There are plenty of things that go back directly to this country's legacy of whites-uber-alles.

Just this week, we have bigots in high office (such as VA Gov Bob McDonnell) touting confederate history as if treasonous behavior is to be celebrated.

Imo the way adoptees are treated dates back directly to how human beings were treated/trafficked in slavery, compulsory Indian schools, whites-first segregation that was the law of the land until the 1970s, and other dehumanizing western institutions.

So it is no surprise that some jagkoff thinks adoptees from Africa are to somehow feel grateful for being treated like crap by American whites; that's an old perception that still endures. We're not white supremacy's only victims; it also has the effect of leaving many white adoptees evidently believing they are some sort of prize, when they are in fact every bit as expendable and subject to abuse as the rest of us.

residual effect

We're not white supremacy's only victims; it also has the effect of leaving many white adoptees evidently believing they are some sort of prize, when they are in fact every bit as expendable and subject to abuse as the rest of us.

I never thought of myself as "a prize".  I always saw myself as an unwanted reject, first.  ALWAYS.  Second class...second best... discarded unwanted trash, (a living abortion), "chosen" by those who could work miracles with the discards of another, from "a lower class".  [A messed-up mentality, I believe is owned by many an AP...]

I cursed that I wasn't a minority... as foolish as it may seem.... I honestly believed had I been black or obvious Asian descent, at least THEN I would have had  more friends who might have understood what it was I was going through. 

Instead, I was a "like-colored" transplant, expected to assimilate and adapt, like it was the most natural thing to do. 

 

 

Like-colored nonwhite

Like-colored nonwhite adoptees have the same issue, in addition to our histories as oppressed peoples. Especially those of us who look like our adoptive families. There is nothing foolish in wishing you aren't white, though it's quite en-vogue to want to disown one's whiteness these days.

I wouldn't be white, or considered white, for any money.

not wanting to identify

I have no problem being "white"... (contrary to what many may want to think/believe, I DO really like the person I am, and always have been.)

I think the identity issue for me was very basic and simple:  I wanted to be seen as obviously different -- I did NOT want to identify myself with those who became my "family", through adoption. 

[When you are surrounded by obvious weirdness or dysfunction, anything that separates You from the rest can be seen as a blessing.]

Yeah, I can relate to that

Like so many, my aparents were crazy as loons behind closed doors but saints/angels in public. Adoption compounded every aspect of everything because we were in an overwhelmingly white enviornment, which would not have been a problem had these particular people not been hostile whites.

So there is that assimilation/accomodation/whites-r-best ideal, that makes nonwhite parents somehow "suitable"....sure, move to Klansville with the kid, be a "pioneer" for The Race. Yay. Fantastic idea.

So the pressure to be the non-existent perfect family was x to the n'th power. Of course if some appearance of perfection faltered, guess who's fault that was. I know you know that route all too well.

Black in the suburbs in the 70s-80s with one catastrophically ill parent, the list goes on, feh.

Appearances

Of course if some appearance of perfection faltered, guess who's fault that was.

Yes, I know the route/pattern all too well.

I read cases like the latest added to our pages [ Artem Justin Hansen (Artem Saveliev) ], and I think... "Had I been more honest, earlier, would they have done the same?"  As it was, I felt as though my stay with that family was temporary because my one grandmother often used to say to me, "I'm going to sell you to the Indians".  

It took many years for me to learn my grandmother was joking, but it didn't matter; the seed was planted...  joke or no joke, the fear of being sold to strangers, AGAIN, (for bad behavior?), was so very very real to me.  That thought terrified me.

You better believe  I tried my damnedest to make sure all appearances seemed fine, good, and well.

Freshman year in college, all that acting caught-up to me. 

Heh Oh dear, Freshman Year

Yeah, one learns plenty one had not planned on learning, freshman year.

A friend of mine who was REALLY into the Harry Potter books once asked me why I never got past the first one. I told her, dear...please. Adoption fantasy crossed with freshman year narrative, uh no thanks. I could write that book, myself.

a thought

I do understand what you're saying, but just in case no one else has told you this, you are not expendable. You are precious. You are lovable and loved. You are a unique human being. There has never been anyone exactly like you before, and never will be again. Like a beautiful snowflake.  :)

(Just a note: I had intended this comment to reply to whoever here said something about being expendable. I thought I'd placed it directly as a reply to that comment but somehow it's gotten elsewhere / out of order.)

Some of us are indeed expendable

Otherwise, we would have had a much different experience.

[nodding]

I definitely agree, and I believe this is especially true when an adoption is done for selfish reasons.

still

(To both people who spoke to the 'expendable' subject above and anyone else for whom that feeling resonates):

I can hardly type because my eyes r filled w/ tears & my heart is...I don't have words for it. What to say, how to relay my thoughts/feelings on this. All I can say is I do truly understand what u mean. Not from having been in your exact shoes, but I understand. Still if I can say one more thing about that.  You might have felt, or even actually been 'expendable' to some bureaucracy/organization &/or to a person or persons, but that was how that particular organization &/or people interacted with you or perceived you or perceived the world. Or that was the only depth of emotion or wisdom that those particular people had (at least in those particular situations). Those people are not the world. Yes, their thoughts & actions affected your world, but those people are not the world. My hope is that all who feel or felt 'expendable' will somehow eventually find their way past perceiving things through that lens and somehow past having that internalized.

Other children need your voice of experience and wisdom, which is very definitely not expendable. The world needs you. Actually, so do I. Kerry, for example, thank you SO much for answering my questions (below a little ways under 'Questions') which were very important to me (as someone who will probably adopt). Thank you for sharing the benefit of your experience, thoughts, & feelings which will be even that much more important of course to the child or children who I adopt. Also thank you to Jurol who gave input below your comment below. I will remember and integrate the experiences of both of you - and Jurol's daughter, too.

I don't mean to sound naive if I have sounded that way here anywhere. I know it can be an impersonal, cold world, even frightening. It's a horrible feeling to feel alone in the world. What comes to my mind suddenly is a saying I used to see on the mailings I used to receive from a child-help organization. It had a child's simple crayon drawing of a sailboat on water and it said 'Be kind to me. The sea is wide and my boat is so small.'

[Excuse me for putting one more comment here above the LOL comment below which I accidentally separated from what it was meant to respond to (a little ways above here).]

LOL>!!!!! Now that mde my

LOL>!!!!!

Now that mde my day.

Question(s)

I have an important question or two and would appreciate any input those that were adopted might share:

A little about myself first: I'm not adopted myself and I don't have children. I'm a woman who has always appreciated & loved kids & always cared profoundly about their well-being. For most people, in elementary school was the first time they spoke as a child with other children about what they wanted to be when they grow up. I remember all the other kids always had the standard answers. The boys all wanted to be firefighters, police officers, train conductors, you get the idea. The girls all seemed to only know of 2 occupations: nurse or teacher. Most said 'nurse.' But the first thing I ever thought I wanted to be when I grew up was something I didn't even know a name for. Back in 2nd or 3rd grade, even though I was a kid myself, all I knew was when I grew up I wanted to help kids. So I would say either 'I want to help kids' or 'I want to work with kids' or 'I want to help special kids' or something like that.

On the professional side of things, I'm still working on what exact form of helping kids would be right for me, but my question is on the personal side, not professional. After years of reading and hearing and knowing of so many horrible situations that children are in and so many sad and tragic situations that happen with both natural, foster, and adoptive parents, I know one thing for sure: I would make an excellent parent - and there is a tremendous need for that. I would make a better parent as an adoptive parent than what millions of poor children are currently stuck with here and abroad, in every area of life, every country, every type of situation, there is a tremendous need for good, loving people to BE THERE for children - to love and help and provide and raise and BE THERE.

As you may have figured out, I think I will be someone who adopts a child or children. If I do adopt a child or children, I want to have listened first to the voices of people who have been there as adopted children. From reading comments posted here, my question to you is this: Do children adopted in the U.S. not get counselling or at least peer-associating-help provided to them? By peer-associating-help, what I mean is I cannot help but wonder if you think it would be tremendously helpful for many adopted children to be provided with resources like opportunities to interact with other adopted children - to have friends who understand them and are able to talk things out and share ideas and feelings? For most of you on this comment board who were adopted, was there no such helpful support for you to be heard regarding your feelings and be helped out regarding your unique concerns by other adopted people and by counsellors who really understand adopted children? Can you relate your experience on that? If you really had pretty much no one to talk to (who understood and could relate to you and help you through things and make your life what you wanted it to be), then do you think it would help adopted children to have that by a certain age? Thanks.

Good questions

I DO think there are some people in this world who do, very sincerely, put the needs of children first, and from what I understand those children who get "prize parents"  -- (prize parents, not "perfect parents") -- fare quite well in a world that can be very cold, cruel and isolating.  I tend to believe those who have been raised by/exposed to adults who truly respect children's thoughts, feelings and needs DO have something very special -- confidence, a sense of security, a true sense of "I AM loved, lovable and I'm a wonderfully unique human being who has much to offer this world".

I consider those children (future adults) truly blessed.

Then there are the rest of us, with varying waves and depths of insecurity.

I can only speak for myself in terms of "specialized socialization" provided by an AP for an adoptee.  For the most part, my adoption was not something my Aparents liked to talk about, at least, not with me.  As far as they were concerned, I was theirs; the past was the past and none it (the past, before them) should matter.  Only when my Amother "got credit" for adopting a child from another country did my adoption become a very long tale worth telling.  [Words cannot express how much I hated that.... I hated how it was always about her ego, her needs.... her adoption story.]

My Amother was a sickly woman... always with ailment, so keeping things quiet and stress-free were always #1 priority... but few people were allowed to know about her "chronic condition".  I was sent to various groups, clubs, and lessons, but I always felt like the outsider looking-in.  I was the only white adopted child, and the only one the mother would very rarely drive or attend, and I was certain I was the only one having messed-up things happening back at the house that always had to be dark and quiet.  I felt my being sent-out and away was more about keeping me out of the house, giving her her "much needed" break and space than something "fun" for me.  As I got older, I learned to hate the lessons and "extras" I was given... I learned it didn't matter how I felt about anything, as long as she got to be the star of the show, via me... as long as she was getting credit for being the world's best mother to the child who was lucky enough to be saved, all was great and ideal.  

I don't know if meeting a group of other adoptees in my younger years would have done much for me; I probably would have seen it as yet one more attempt on her part to be seen and perceived as "always caring; always concerned".... an act she reserved for the general public.

I DO recall the time my Amother was very excited for me, because I was going to meet a fellow adoptee.  A friend of my Amother had recently adopted a young girl from Korea, and for some reason, logic dictated the little girl and I should meet because we had so much in common.  <rolling eyes>  I remember being disappointed that the girl was younger than me and  I remember my Amother warning me about her older brother.  Apparently the boy had emotional problems, and was known to have suddend extreme violent outbursts, so I was to be careful, and stay away from him.  I must have been no older than 7 or so, and I remember thinking:  "Great, at least I know she and I will have THAT much in common."

Our "meeting" felt like a forced first-date, and the common bond of adoption was not enough to sustain any real friendship.  Maybe if she revealed something about her new father, mother and brother, and if I dared to talk about mine, things would have been different, but the unwritten rule was very clear:  you must be careful with that you say... walls have ears.  When keeping family secrets, it's best to limit conversations to, "What kind of Barbies do you have? and "What color is your room?".

I probably would have enjoyed an adoptee group in high school or college... by then I was ready to talk about the fucked-up things that kept happening to me.  Before that, any social group would have felt forced and very guarded.  After all, it's not nice to say honest things about the people who saved you from an orphanage.... things like that can get back, and get a child in a boat-load of trouble.

Adoptees as friends

Kerry - it sounds like any involvement with an adoptee group would have been a contrived event for you, given your adoptive mother's self-serving attitudes.  That wouldn't have created the kind of environment for natural friendships to occur, let alone for kids to share their deeper feelings with each other.
My kids have been with other intercountry adoptees since the first day they joined our family, which means friendships developed and strengthened as the children grew up. My youngest children's best friends are both adoptees; my 15 year old daughter with a 16 year old girl who was her friend while both lived in their Indian orphanage, and my 16 year old son with a boy adopted from a different country.  Many years ago, they moved from seeing their group of mates at adoptive family gatherings to seeing them on their own as friends and having regular sleepovers at each other's homes. 
For the past 17 years, we have attended a weekend camp at the coast with other adoptive families from our state. Thankfully, early on it was recognised that the kids got more benefit from time together without adult involvement or interference, so we organised a couple of activities for all the children to do together but largely we left the kids to themselves.  They always got themselves into groups and talked long into the night, and usually only the youngest children end up sleeping in their family's own cabins.
My daughter has just wandered into my room, so I asked her if she thinks there were any benefits to growing up with other adoptees around her. She said "There definitely is, because only other adoptees really know where you're coming from when you talk about things."

Thank you.

Thank you Jurol. I also thanked you above under the 'a thought' / 'expendable' thread. Hope you have a chance to read that. :)

Thank you.

Thank you so much Kerry.

Just to share something about the 5th paragraph subject (the paragraph starting 'my Amother'). All the way from "I felt my being sent out..." to "...the world's best mother to the child..." unfortunately in very large part applies to a couple of siblings I knew. I had met them very briefly as teens in Jr High & Freshman High School year, but then didn't see them again til college because we lived on opposite sides of town & went to different schools. (They were not adopted, by the way. Niether am I.) They grew up in the suburbs with seemingly all advantages. They had both parents at home unlike many kids whose parents were divorced or separated. Their parents seemed to have it all together for the most part. These siblings could have the most fashionable clothes if they wanted. They could go to concerts, movies, buy albums, etc. I grew up poor, in the city (although a nice area), and fashionable clothes weren't in the budget.  Entire huge fashion trends completely passed me by without me ever getting one of what most other teenagers had more than one of. Forget getting my hair cut in any fashionable way. And in all 4 years of high school I bought about 1 album & went to 1 movie & 1 concert total. Believe me, I know it might sound shallow, but to teenagers, it means so much at that time. My parents are absolutely wonderful people, though. The greatest blessings in my life. They were poor but they gave us unconditional love, etc.

Well, years later I married one of those suburban siblings. That's when I discovered something that I could not have known otherwise: that they seriously would have almost traded their entire situation with mine. It turned out that they had both suffered horribly and very greatly from their parents' perfectionism, image-consciousness, materialism, lack of warmth, lack of connection to them, their parents' self-centeredness (caught up in their own careers & social scenes). They were not abused or anything like that, but one sibling did describe that she felt they were neglected. Your description from "I felt my being sent out..." to "...the world's best mother to the child..." so reminds me of them.

My heart broke for them when I realized that they actually had been deprived (if unintentionally) of what my parents had given their kids in spades: an intrinsic feeling of self-worth, unconditional love, warmth, etc. In my family, we loved our parents greatly, and now their grandchildren cherish them, too. But in that other family, those 2 siblings grew up to absolutely Hate their parents. One actually totally estranged herself from them & her entire family (for her mental health if nothing else) because they make her feel so horribly dimished as a person by their social-standing-consciousness, hyper-competition, perfectionism, belittling, etc. My ex-husband (the other sibling) also for the same reason virtually estranged himself from his parents and would have been happy to only have to speak on the phone to them once in an entire year. And those 2 siblings also pretty much HATE each other because they were not taught love is the greatest value in life. I don't mean their parents didn't have any redeeming qualities. I don't like to demonize people. They did not set out to harm their children. When their kids grew up, it all came back to haunt them so to speak, and they suffered from having raised their kids like that. I think their father wished he could change his hyper-hyper-'perfection'ism & something else about himself, but didn't know how because that's how he himself was treated & raised growing up.

Anyways the grass can often seem greener on the other side of the fence. But we often think we know what things must be like for other people when we actually just don't know what their life really is like. Thanks again for the response to my questions in my previous comment. I also thanked you above at the 'a thought' / 'expendable' comment thread. I hope you have a chance to read that. (It's shorter than this.) : )

Every situation is different

Those of us from the upside down world of closed adoptions have a different experience that may or may not apply to persons adopted in recent years. For my part, my aparents were also friends, via religion, with the 2 white families (one was mixed, Black/white/natural/step/half/etc.) who weren't bigots. One had an adopted boy whom they treated like crap, and then a "miracle baby" whom they treated like a princess.

Sadly, she behaved as if she was one, blah.

The boy and I became very close in childhood and ended up being each other's "firsts" in later years, if you know what I mean. But it was a weird, creepy suburban neighborhood out of a David Lynch film, complete with vicious, violent undercurrent. Typical suburbia in a lot of ways, I suppose, but the experience of the kids in each household was over the top in their own way. Did it help either me or M to know the other was adopted? I guess. Counselors to talk to about The Adoption Experience™ ? Nonexistent. Do I miss them? Not really.

Some situations just end up heinous, despite the good intentions of parents. If the kid doesn't turn out the way they planned, or in line with whatever personal hangups they have, they need to move past it.

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