10 years and 2 children

Ok everyone who's adopted knows all the fun stuff that we carry with us, not one day goes by that Im not reminded of these things by my wife.The way it feels to me is that every little complaint,nag,gripe just drives me further away.Im tired of giving myself the freedom to "check out" when I want my family deserves more of me,its just so much easier and more convenient to do what I want when I want to do it.I keep asking myself  is it really worth giving up 10 years and two children to be "comfortable" and not have to deal with any of my crap.I have been an alcoholic since I was a teen,but have not drank for two years,tried just about every drug known to man and had been a drug addict for a long time,sex addict and the list goes on.When does the cycle end? does life get any better? is anything ever going to be good enough for me? I keep telling myself if my sexual relationship were better with my wife that my life would be a ok,is this a lie that Ive bought into? so many questions so little time!