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Former foster child rises above abuse

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DEBORAH CIRCELLI

Daytona Beach News-Journal

DAYTONA BEACH - As a young child in an abusive foster home, Ashley Rhodes-Courter was pulled by her hair off the top of a bunk bed, kicked and "hit with a spoon until my bottom was raw."

Rhodes-Courter, who is now 23, was just 3 when she describes being ripped from her family and "shuffled like a hand-me-down toy" for the next nine years in 14 foster homes, including one in Plant City where she was abused. She eventually was adopted.

The abuse, which she outlines in her book "Three Little Words" and plans to discuss along with her story about adoption at a local luncheon this month, involved running laps in the hot sun and having her face held in vomit.

The former Plant City foster mother, Marjorie Moss, was charged and sentenced to probation, and she and her husband gave up rights to their adopted children, according to reports in the St. Petersburg Times. Rhodes-Courter, who in her book states her biological mother had a drug problem, sued the state and caseworkers and received settlements for errors in her case.

Her story became well-publicized nationally and now after graduating from college and winning numerous awards, she's a guardian ad litem in St. Petersburg representing other foster children in court. A guardian helped her get adopted and her adoptive mother was also a guardian.

She speaks across the country and will appear at the April 21 annual Child Abuse and Neglect Prevention Luncheon at the Ormond Beach Performing Arts Center.

"It helps for (foster children) to know they are not alone and other people have gone through the same sorts of things," Rhodes-Courter said. "They can be successful no matter what the odds tell them. Your future is entirely your own making."

Attorney and child advocate Karen Gievers, who represented Rhodes-Courter and others who lived in the Plant City foster home in lawsuits against the state, said Rhodes-Courter is an inspiration and provides hope to older foster children who may be waiting to be adopted.

"She is an amazing youngster," Gievers said. "For anyone who is involved in trying to help make the Florida foster care system better, success stories like hers are what keep people going."

The title of her book deals with the words she uttered to a judge that changed her life. When asked if she wanted him to make her adoption official, she replied - "I guess so."

Here's more from Rhodes-Courter:

Q: What was the hardest part about being in foster care? I think the hardest part was just the uncertainty of what was going on in my life. Feeling very unwanted and worthless and confused and scared a lot of the time. Those are difficult things and typical too of how many kids feel in the system.

Q: How did you get through the abuse in foster care? What kept you going to get straight A's in school? I think I was just very lucky to have a lot of support in the education system. When I wasn't getting food (in the Moss foster home), I got free breakfast and lunch. That really helped. School became my sanctuary. I was able to thrive in that environment. That was a saving grace for me. In terms of day-to-day survival, I didn't have much of a choice (but to keep going.)

Q: Do you think all foster homes are bad? No, no. There are so many good foster parents and homes out there. But we need to be cognizant of the fact that these situations do exist and people need to take responsibility for reporting abuse.

Q: Do you think things have changed in the state child welfare system? What other changes are needed? There's been a lot of laws passed and more people coming forward talking about these issues. It is no longer a closed-mouth thing. Things are definitely improved, but are far from perfect. There needs to be a stronger push on permanency. They need to be locating relatives and families for these kids. We need to get kids out of the system as soon as possible.

Q: What was the best part for you about being adopted? Just having a family and having a chance at a normal life and being able to have the kind of opportunities I could have only dreamed about. It's such a blessing. You know you always have someone in your life.

Q: What would you say to encourage others to adopt? There are so many children available for adoption. I honestly believe there is a perfect child for every family. If you're interested in becoming a foster parent or adopting, it means saving a child's life.

If You Go:

With April being National Child Abuse Prevention Month, the Volusia/Flagler Committee for Positive Parenting will present awards at the 15th annual Child Abuse and Neglect Prevention luncheon from 11:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. April 21 at the Ormond Beach Performing Arts Center, 399 N. U.S. 1.

Reservations are $20 and the deadline is Friday. For more information, call Joanne Roberts at 386-322-9025 or by e-mail at JRoberts@RCBDaytona.com.

2009 Apr 9