Is Federici Silencing The Adopted?

On chowchow22's blog an interesting discussion took place about our old friend Ronald Federici. Especially interesting are the insights given by Lanief1986, Ronald Federici's adopted daughter. The comments made by mom4all constantly speak in defence of Federici, making some question if the person posting is "the emperor", himself.

Here is the entire discussion, courtesy of the owner of the blog:

    1. ask what Federici did to his granddaughter..ask where he put her, then find out where she is??? you will shutter.he is a racist monster.

      Comment by anangel22 | February 18, 2009

    2. What is the deal with his granddaughter?

      Comment by chowchow22 | February 19, 2009

    3. he forced his adopted daughter to put the baby(granddaughter} in foster care because of the babies race. media hasnt gotten a hold of this info yet. then he threw the adopted daughter out onto the street, fact.

      Comment by anangel22 | February 19, 2009

    4. this is why he is trying to shut everything down, he’s panicing….He wants to silence everyone, his house of cards is crumbling…He brought these kids here and he has abused them! and he is not a father to seven,as he claims,that is not true, only four, fact.He is mentally ill..

      Comment by anangel22 | February 19, 2009

    5. Are all of his children adopted? If so, are they domestic or international? Because you mentioned “brought them here” that makes me think international. If he adopts internationally, are the children caucasion only? I have no background info on this guy except his “rebirthing” (is that what he named it?) methods and I don’t know much about those.
      I would be disgusted to know that he adopted a daughter and then puts an innocent child into fostercare and throws the adopted daughter out. Especially due to race.grrrrrrrrrrrr
      Adoptees and their children are not THROWAWAYS. Why do you say he has 4 and not 7?

      Comment by chowchow22 | February 19, 2009

    6. yes ,all adopted. 2 russia,2 romania. He claims to have adopted 7,not true….of course they couldnt be caucasion,so why would he care who they conceived with? the russian daughter is also “special needs”, so she needs more love and support while preg…Not from Federici….he threw them to the street,fact

      Comment by anangel22 | February 19, 2009

    7. I agree, no child is a THROWAWAY. It is very sad what he has done……

      Comment by anangel22 | February 19, 2009

    8. some friends told me about this blog, and I read everything with great dismay. We (our family with adopted kids and foster kids) knew this man and his family for many years. no, we are not relatives, but family friends who have been to the house and they to ours. whoever wrote this information is just wrong on all fronts. he had 4 adopted kids, and the other 3 were permanent adoptions from other countries but older kids.he raised them all, and still takes care of them. we knew them all, and they are great kids and he did nothing like these posts are saying. all the kids have done well, and the whole daughter-granddaughter thing is just crazy lies. we think it is just wrong to make up stories or fabricate lies and hurt someone and the family. we know the truth as we know this family for almost 15 years. shame on all of you for such hurtful statements. fyi..the daughter is in school, and all the rest are doing very good things in life. the granddaughter was never thrown away or in foster care. she is white for the record, and this guy could care less about race. your sources are out for evil and hurtful purposes, as are many of these blogs and posts. to fabricate stories about a very good person and family is sinful. i just wonder what eveil person wrote all this hate?

      Comment by mom4all | February 22, 2009

    9. mom4all, Thank you for your comments of knowing Mr. Federici and his family. I have no idea what the truth is and am happy to hear your first hand experience.

      Comment by chowchow22 | February 22, 2009

    10. chowchow22.Thank you, as i am just trying to do something morally correct and set the record straight by friends of this family. This man has done so much for kids, here and abroad, and for some reason, people find it almost amusing to insult and hurt his and his family’s name and reputation. I just do not understand people’s meanness, outrageos behaviors/lies and just plain obsessed behaviors. If the federici family really did something wroirg, why would all the media, newspapers, magazines, people he has worked with in congress for children’s rights, and even his own licensing board be so happy to have him? we knw, as do all his friends ( all big shot doctors in the US), that he has never done anything worng, and has always been there for childrens rights. He has worked all over the world in very bad places–where OUR kids came from. he helped us as friends, and he always helps those in trouble. NEVER have i seen this man do anything but ethical and good moral conduct. So all these people with their angry and mean comments should go over to his home as we have, and talk to his kids. we know he has raised some very troubled children, especially the daughter, but he fought the system to get her the best help. he and his family are welcome in our home here in Texas anytime. This is the god-honest truth. Dr federici has really tried to help kids, and never hurt one in his life-if he did, we and all his patients and reputation would show it and punish him. How people can write such mean and hurtful things is beyond me. They must have problems or a vendetta, as i have read some things written about him that are just out of reality. Maybe those people are the ones that need the help, or should just stop listening to tabloid trash. fyi–if he is so rotten and abusive, why would so many people seek him out for help? why can he still practice? we know all about the bad therapy people that have hurt kids. we never saw it in 15 years from this man, nor did all the organizations he belongs too, and we do too..SO SAD that the internet allows this type of free speech. Now, I and many, find ourselves sticking up for a good man and doctor who has helped many. the angry and lying people who wrote all this rubbish should call and talk to him directly, as i know he would tell the truth and reason

      Comment by mom4all | February 22, 2009

    11. “we know all about the bad therapy people that have hurt kids.”

      Yes, there are horrible therapists still out there taking advantage of adopted children in therapy and it is important to listen to the voices of those (now grown) survivors. They have a truth to tell and we don’t ever want our children exposed to this and then “hushed” to never tell.

      Comment by chowchow22 | February 22, 2009

    12. Listen, we have seen and dealt with all those hurtful people at these “attachment centers”, and know all about the deaths and abuse from these people. Our family knows that Dr Federici stood firmly against any form of child abuse, and goes all over the Us testifying against these bad people or therapists, whoever they are. He is a tough one on the kids out of control, but this devotion he has to the kids out of control is what has made him a good guy. He is not an attachment person at all, as all these crazy postings have said. He does child development and brain stuff for damaged kids work the right way, and works with really tough and hurt kids. I have seen him in groups of 100’s speaking and caring for kids. they love him because he is committed. If only the adopted kids and others could see he is a supporter, and would help anyone in need. We are just so upset about all this crazy lying about our friend . there are other posts that have been passed to me now asking for some honest opinion, from someone who knows the man instead of these evil perple writing rubbish. from what I have read in other similar posts, the lies and crazy stories have gone crazy. this really speaks for the truth of the matter, as I am sure not a one of them even know the man or have talked to him

      Comment by mom4all | February 22, 2009

    13. Dear mom4all, you think you know the “Dr.” very well but you are wrong! I was forced to go to the Godparent home (where unwed mothers go). My dad did kick my daughter (who is not white) and me out. I was forced to put her in foster care because he went back on his promise. He told me that If i went to the Godparent home, I would be allowed to come home and he and my stepmom would help me out. When I got there he told me that I couldnt come home. I stayed at the Godparent home for 3 months after I gave birth to my daughter. So she stayed in foster care for 3 months!!!!! How dare you say that he was a good father to his children and how he loved us??? He was very abusive. Yes I am in school but I have no contact with my father at all. He doesnt even pay fo my school because I go Job corp. How dare you think that you know my whole life when you havent even seen the real “dr.” Just so you know he didnt even adopt 7 children!!! you are wrong about that too. I was there when he lied to his so called friends! He uses people and when he is done with he ignores his friends. You are just repeating my fathers lies.

      Comment by lanief1986 | February 23, 2009

    14. And what system did he fight to get me what kinda help???? All he did was kick me and my daughter and my stepmom and her kids out of his home. He put my brother into a mental hospital!!!!! How could a “good and kind” doctor do that to his own kids???? give me a good excuse for that one mom4all

      Comment by lanief1986 | February 23, 2009

    15. The only thing that he did to help me in the system is to try to get gaurdianship of me so that he could send me to the mental hospital. He is trying to silence all of us but he didnt get gaurdinship of me, so i will not be silenced.

      Comment by lanief1986 | February 23, 2009

    16. To L.F.
      Thank you for your truth as the actual person living this.

      Comment by chowchow22 | February 23, 2009

    17. ALl of the family, friends and people around the family know the truth. You are a very angry girl, who failed out of school, had a long history of trauma from your adoption ( that you blamed your entire family for). We know all of your brothers, sisters, and the other adopted kids your father had. We know all about the times you were trteated well by all the family, but you rejected everything to live a street life, just like from your past. We all watched your father struggle to get you help which you rejected. We all watched all your brothers and sisters challenge you on all your lyiong, cheating, and we all know you were in a very good Christian home for unwed mothers, and then walked away from a child where your this man tried to get the child adopted to a good family. Young lady, you are lying and deceiving, as we watch you grow up, and saw all the problems you have. We know all about the court where you lied to the judge when you were pregnant, diseased, and on the streets. We all know the truth, especially all your relatives, that you have lied about everything. We knew your mother who could no longer deal with you and your father picked up all the pieces. We all know that there was no abuse–only from the time before you were adopted and now blame your problems on those who cared for you. We all know it was your father who insisted yo get help, get evaluated (which showd NO ABUSE-only severe mental health problems). We all know he was the one who got you straight in the program in the job corps. It was you who threw the baby away, that your father and step mother fixed. This is FACT, that ALL of us know. It is a sham that you are so angry and unable to really see the troubles you have. There were so many family and friends who tried to take care of, but you lied, stole, manipulated from all of them. We see your brothers all the time, and know all the others from Romania as we know you went along and met them!! So you are NOT telling the truth. We have one of your brothers brother, and we all know the truth Elena…So for you to continue leading a life of lies is not healthy. You have done so many bad things from your early years in an orphanage, that you cannot see the truth. You never went to a mental hospital, nor did your brother. You should be lucky that people cared for you and kept trying. We watched you lie, cheat, and blame everyone for youyr history of problems which were there when you were adopted. Your father and mother tried to help, but you were so difficult and deceitful and traumatized from early life, that you did not let them. We know your mother and step mother–they BOTH had it with you.The ONLY one who hung in there was your father. Your brothers talk all the time about how you ruined your life.

      The real truth from family friends for 15 years…we only wish she would get the help she needs instead of living a lie and staying in her negative behaviors. The only people that have been able to handle you are your family. You threw everyone away, including a child instead of being a bit grown up, continuiong the adoption, and moving on. Instead, you gave up and refused to accept help.

      I could have all the family friends and doctors who were friends and helped take care of you write these same truths. We just pray you will get help and allow the few left to help you. Just listen to your anger–it is coming from old wounds from your early years of damage–just like our kids went through. You should be happy that you were saved by good people, as you may have wound up on the streets and even more abused. Please get the help you need, and stop your same, long history, of lies and hurtfullness…you already lost all your brothers, family, and friends. We know that, despite all your chaos and anger, your father and brothers would still help you..that is a sign of love.

      Comment by mom4all | February 23, 2009

    18. ONE MORE IMPORTANT THING FOR READERS. Our family is happy to supply comments, names, and statements from ALL of the people who have dealt with this girl since her adoption. There are so many here, and in other countries (relatives and friends), who would attest to the truth and how troubled this young girl is. the father has nothing to hide, as I talked to him yesterday and he knows very well that Elena will say and do about anything ( like most kids from traumatic background), to blame, lie and fight off dealing with their past. It makes all of so sad that she is the last one of the kids to recover. None of the other kids ( and we know ALL OF THEM) would say any of these words. So that leaves one very angry, and damaged child , to find someone to blame. We wish she would look at all this as a blessing that she is finally off the streets, healthy, and in a program–all due to her father and step mother. many of her other family members gave up on her long ago for these exact behaviors-anger, lying, manipulating and deceiving people. The father has really done all he could to help. It is so sad that these kind of posting create such anger instead of help. We are glad, as a friend to the family, who watched ALL these events unfold, to tell the real facts. Again, we are happy to get many others who know this very sad girl, to tell the exact same story. Our family therapist who was great in deaing with traumatized kids (after federici evaluated them for us ), told us how the “more damaged kids will act out in a more angry manner, and blame those closest to them for all the hurt”. Well, we went through that too, but stayed strong because we knew what our kids went through. AND they all knew this sad and angry girl calling herself Lanie. They all remember all the crazy and bizarre behaviors she put the family through, but all of them hung in there and kept helping. We pray, one day, she will get the help she needs, and recover and realize where her anger is really coming from. ALL the family, friends, and doctors who have tried to help her, know the truth, and would stand up in a minute and speak it. Most importantly, no matter what this young girl says, they ALL understand how hurt she is and confused, and would still help. That is the sign of a good man, family, and person. The abuse she is flinging speaks for her own unresolved anger. Lanie, we ALL know and love you…there have been so many there to help you, but you have rejected all of them and gone down a very bad and angry path , just like the environment you were raised in with your birth parents. It is our hope and prayer that forums like this will NOT take a biased, angry, position against a good man who has spent his whole life helping. But to direct those “lost and confused” to God and prayer and recovery. And back to the family that are the only ones willing to take the abuse and help.

      Comment by mom4all | February 23, 2009

    19. Mom4all, you said
      “We have one of your brothers brother,”

      I wonder what abuse you mean from the natural parents of the children in Romanian orphanages. I have never heard of this. Can you explain if this is typical, because my (non informed-lol) impression of that was just that the children were orphans and not removed from the family for abuse.

      Comment by chowchow22 | February 23, 2009

    20. Also mom4all,I don’t know how familiar you are with the internet, but this is not a forum, just a Blog. I have many links to Other unrelated stories and news articles (usually about fostercare,adoption ect..)and only ONE link (to another Blog actually) which speaks about Mr. Federici~ addressing if he was having Pound Puppy Legacy closed down. That is a site that helps abused children and I was shocked that a child advocate (Mr. Federici) would want that.

      Comment by chowchow22 | February 23, 2009

    21. mom4all, you are rude and insensitive to try and silence this child.

      Comment by anangel22 | February 23, 2009

    22. i know elena and pretty well at that!!!! i know her story and everything she has said is definitely the truth so stop telling lies to make your self look good!!! well my work is done here so have a good effen day!!!

      Comment by amber | February 23, 2009

    23. No one silenced this child. just told the absolute truth–one this child cannot do. she is very damaged and needs help, and allowing her to go on fabricating stories out of irrational rage is the real wrong here. we have ben friends to her, as have been our kids and many others. we have tried to help her for years, but she has not wanted help. we have tried to help her hold on, but her mental health issues have caused her to slip away into rage and fabrication. her entire family and group of friends know all this well, as do her doctors, teachers, friends, and past caretakers. we have been praying for her, and it is amazing that, when she is at the worst place, she always turns to her family and father. this is fact, and she is now manipulating all of you just for attention. this is classic for a child with huge issues that we will continue to pray and be available to help her as we all have done throughout the many, many years. once again, the goal is to help a child in need, not to fight, argue or allow hateful behaviors and distortions get in the way. you just do not know all the truths as we do. those of friends to the family who have sen it first hand and watch the father/mother and siblings go out of their way to help. she creates a story that keeps her from facing the parts of her that are too painful to face. we have all been there for her..so many friends she has hurt and rejected. now she is older and still angry at the world. all our kids ent through this pain, as most adopted kids do. it is when people allow themselves to get manipulated which does not help the child. we are on a national board helping kids in need. we just try to offer help and facts when there is a gap in reality. remember, kids from tough backgrounds can be tough kids, and make life hard for those who try to help.

      Comment by mom4all | February 23, 2009

    24. Hmmm. If this person (no longer a child) is lying, and is so damaged, why couldn’t Mr Federici succeed in his legal effort to gain guardianship of her as an adult? Why did a judge not only reject his attempt, but award fees and costs to her attorney? (Since you, mom4all, know so many “truths” about this man, do you know whether he ever paid this obligation?)

      And why is it said that his licensing board (in Virginia?) is “happy” with him? That’s an unorthodox position to be taken by a regulatory agency. Regulators generally only take notice of someone when it is charged he is doing something wrong, and I’ve never heard of a case where they make a judgment that they are “happy” with someone.

      Finally, since Mr Federici has his defender here, it would be interesting to hear from here what the defense might be for Mr Federici’s conduct on the real topic of this thread on this blog. He has attempted to use claims of copyright infringement to shut down at least two survivor blogs. Curiously, his argument has been that certain “false statements” were copyright infringement. Is that kind of illogic (and, BTW, illiteracy, too) typical of his treatment of children in and out of his family?

      Comment by Under-the-spell | February 23, 2009

    25. maybe mom4all is the dr.?

      Comment by teddybear99 | February 23, 2009

    26. under the spell has a great point! The dr. did not win in court, the daughter did. Who is lying here?Why didnt he help his daughter with her baby? Race? What race is the baby?lanief?

      Comment by teddybear99 | February 23, 2009

    27. My daughter is part hispanic. He didnt help with my daughter. The only reason that he finally let me come home was because my stepmom kept on fighting with him to let me come home so that she could help me with my daughter. Not once has he looked at her, touched her or held her. He called her every name in the book. The reason why I am in job corp is because he threatened to kick me out of his house calling me every name in the book. He didnt help me!

      Comment by lanief1986 | February 23, 2009

    28. I am glad to hear you kept your darling daughter. I wondered after mom4all mentioned adoption.
      My husband and I would be more than happy and very proud to be her granny and grampy;~))

      Comment by chowchow22 | February 23, 2009

    29. well my dad did and is still trying to take my daughter away from me and place her for adoption.

      Comment by lanief1986 | February 23, 2009

    30. Why did federici want you to put your daughter up for adoption?He turned his back on you? Where is your stepmother now?Are you raising your baby now at school?

      Comment by teddybear99 | February 23, 2009

    31. I would say is that he was embarrassed by her. He didnt even tell his friends that i was pregnant! He did turn his back on me.My stepmom is helping me raise my daughter.

      Comment by lanief1986 | February 23, 2009

    32. Hey mom4all,dr…why did you say “being a bit grown up, continuing the adoption and moving on?”What is that suppossed to mean? This child clearly needed help. If you are truely a friend of this family,what does that prove? We all know that there are hidden truths behind closed doors. Family Secrets!we all have them.

      Comment by teddybear99 | February 23, 2009

    33. At the 2004 ATTACh Conference (for Attachment Therapists), Ronald S. Federici stated:

      “I also am the father of seven adopted children….I just shipped off my daughter to Moscow to college. I’ve got four at home, and two live back in Bucharest.”

      Is it curious that three of children Federici claims to have adopted would be back in Eastern Europe?

      Apparently Federici has two stories about how well his children are doing. In 2004, Federici claims all his children are “doing great now.”

      Here are some telling quotes from Federici’s book and presentation:
      http://www.childrenintherapy.org/proponents/federici.html

      We already know Federici advocates a highly authoritarian form of parenting (”three-foot rule”) and a particularly dangerous form of restraint for compliance. Federici claimed at the 2004 ATTACh conference that he has videos of himself “sitting” on his children. Federici also mentioned his wife’s role at home (apparently NOT the step-mom mentioned by lanief1986), as well:

      “You know, my wife was an angel. She stayed at home, and I tell you, she was meaner than I could ever be. Because, you know what? She was consistent. Blindly consistent.”

      My heart goes out to lanief1986. I admire your courage for speaking out here, and I wish you and your daughter happier days.

      I urge anyone with personal experience with “The Emperor” to likewise get your story out to the public and consider calling the Virginia Board of Psychology (804-662-9913).

      Comment by Linda Rosa, RN | February 23, 2009

    34. I am sorry to hear that anyone could be embarrassed of a baby.My grandchildren are my true joys. I could never imagine my life without them.Why did he adopt these kids to abandon them? You must stop labeling this child {lanief} and blaming her for her past hardships.This is further abuse! It sounds as though “you” and “your friends” are abusers.Stop making excuses for R.F.mom4all……..

      Comment by anangel22 | February 23, 2009

    35. Please, if there is anyone out there who can lend support to Lanie and back up her statements, please speak up now.

      Ronald Federici and his minions should not be allowed to get away with the bullying and sanctimonious vitriol they throw at abuse survivors.

      Comment by Wayward Radish | February 23, 2009

    36. The father does not even know we are writing all this, as he would be upset and even more concerned. he has taken enough slams for no good reason. All of you are sorely mistaken, and taken in by a very disturbed child. She does not have the baby, and never wanted it.ask about how she treated the child when she was near it? we heard from the brothers and the mother. she was the one who gave the baby away, where the father wanted the baby to go to a good adoptive christian home. fact is that she has long term problems that have been there since we knew the family and adoption. Fact is that Elena has a very disturbed history of lying, cheating, stealing and manipulating. It is so sad that all of you enable her to continue her negative path in life and have fallen for her lies and con games that have hurt so many people. she knows us from Texas, as we have one of the brothers relatives, and we have had her in our home and we in theirs. we saw her issues first hand, as did many of the fathers professional friends who all wrote letters to the judge to give guardianship. she lied to the judge that she was working, not pregnant and able to care for herself. she was back at the fathers home in a month when she could not make it. wake up people, you are only enabling this girl from ever getting better. she needs help as she caused havoc to everyone that knew her. my husband and i and our kids saw all the help and good home she was offered. she choose a street life and life of poor morals, instead of going to therapy and taking medications. FYI–we ALL tried to get her HELP–she refused everyone. After she threw away the child to others, and was NOT allowed around the baby as she made threats of harm, she needed to move on to the real world as it was clear she would not get better till she hit rock bottom. So we have our group in Texas, many in VA, Minnesota, florida, and many of the fathers doctors and family friends to back all this up. BUT if all of you want to just be mean and hostile, you are of no help to this girl. So much was offered, and refused. Not because of anything by the father or family did wrong, but the sadness that she will not get the right help. AND NO, I am not the doctor…we felt so bad and told him only a bit of what we heard from this post. he is just concerned but waits till the next catastrophe she will find. she knows who we are-long time family friends who really care.

      Comment by mom4all | February 23, 2009

    37. How dare you say all those things about me? You dont know anything about me! I didnt abandon my daughter! I had to place her in foster care! I wasnt allowed back home even after my dad promised me that he would help me take care of her! How dare you say those things? why would I lie about these things? You dont know anything! You didnt live in our home, you dont know what happend! you didnt get cussed at, you didnt get hit over and over again! I did! My brothers did! They have hemophilia!!! How dare you say you know what happened in MY family?? You need to get your head out of you butt and you need to listen! All YOU know is what Ron is saying and thats all lies! Next time you try to talk trash about me or my daughter you better have the facts!

      Comment by LanieF1986 | February 23, 2009

    38. FYI and last post–we just called the family and brothers of lanie. they are all in shock again, but not the least bit suprised. they are all happy to give the facts of living with their sister, and how she refused all the help, and how she abused her child–which is why the child would up elsewhere like with the biological fathers side. also, there are many, many other doctors and lawyers who know her and would give a very clear picture. the father tried to help via guardianship , but her lies made it not happen. BUT why was she back in the home a few weeks later and just fine? why did the father pay for all her care, and the care of the child? why did he keep trying ? why was she not allowe around the child? one brother tells a very sad story about her disturbed behavior and problems when anywhere near the child, which is why she is in a program. For all those hateful people out there trying to hurt a good person, get your facts straight first. if you write or call me directly, i will give you tons of people who know the truth, and maybe then you will fell remorseful and a bit foolish. if you want to help the girl, make her face reality and get help. you have all been taken in, but those who allow it, have enough problems of their own and need not be around any child.

      Comment by mom4all | February 23, 2009

    39. mom4all wrote: “…we have our group in Texas, many in VA, Minnesota, florida, and many of the fathers doctors and family friends to back all this up.”

      Sorry, Federici himself claims all his children are “doing great now.” (2004 ATTACh presentation sold by http://www.resrec.com/)

      Questions for mom4all: Have you followed Federici’s parenting methods for your children? Were they “treated” by Federici? Do you know his methods firsthand?

      Comment by Linda Rosa, RN | February 23, 2009

    40. lanie, like your family and brothers and friends and doctors have continue to say, you need help. you are not the victim here, you have hurt many people, including your own child. this is why you do not have her, nor can be alone around her. we will keep praying for you to get help and stop your eternal history of lying and manipulating. why dont we ask the home where you had the baby what they thought about you and how you treated the child? lets ask the entire family and friends who were there? we even remember when you were in school and had HUGE issues of the truth. we vacationed with you and had trouble. we spoke to your brothers and relatives–very different story than what you are saying–all to get attention of these poor people reading this rubbish from you.

      Comment by mom4all | February 23, 2009

    41. We believe you lanief, this is why I brought all of this out. I had heard about this tragic story, and it had to be told. Please come forward if anyone knows more.Lanief, I am sorry that you have read these lies about you and your baby , it must really hurt you. We are all on your side!Mom4all says horrible things about you, we dont believe one word of it!Keep your head up!

      Comment by anangel22 | February 23, 2009

    42. mom4all,I feel sorry for you!!! we will PRAY for you, you need it!

      Comment by anangel22 | February 23, 2009

    43. You know you make up so many stories! I never abused my child! i have all rights to my child nobody else! The reason why I wanted to come back home was because of my stepmom! NOT my dad! I am really happy to be out of his home! I am glad to be away from him! My father is not a good person. He hurts children! He has hurt me and my brothers! Like I said before you know nothing! YEAH, my brothers are living with my dad right now! Two of them just want his money and the oldest one cant leave because my dad has gaurdianship of him. If he had the choice to leave, then he would have gladly left!

      Comment by LanieF1986 | February 23, 2009

    44. we had him help with the neur evals,which is what he does best. he handles only very violent and wild kids but does not really do all that counseling stuff. we saw the tv show and knew the family well in Texas–the boy on the show. he really helped him, as he graduated Hs and is fine. I know what you mean about all that attachment stuff, but he does not do that. he handles lots of bad situations, and is really good at that. i know he does not like all those other counselors out there. so he did not treat us, but why would he? he just is a friend who helped us get all the school services. so please dont mix things up. he is very well liked in many places, and we know for a fact that he has never done anything that would be wrong. the messes he has to deal with are the ones no one else wanted. our kids were brought over by him from romania (and yes, they were all together ). he does have 3 other adopted-older kids that he let stay in their countries as they were much older. he really helped them out of a jam and saved their lives. he is a good guy despite what you are implying. have you ever called and talked to him? you should–maybe clear the air? it would be a christian gesture instead of arguing.

      Comment by mom4all | February 23, 2009

    45. You know for a fact do you? He did do many things that are wrong! he did not adopt 3 other kids! I know them! One lives in Russia and she has both of her parents! She lives with her parent! How dare you say things that you dont know anything about? My dad is the one that manipulates! Dont you think that I would have tried talking to him and your so called clear the air! I am done with him hurting me and the people that I care about. I will not sit here and just do nothing!

      Comment by LanieF1986 | February 23, 2009

    46. I was very aware of the situation with Mr. Federici and his “standing” in the community as well as his atttempt at gaining guardianship of his daughter. From my experience with both, it is clear to me that mom4all is actually Ron Federici writing. This is exactly the way he talks about adopted children - “damaged” - and the way he talks about his daughter - on the streets, lying etc. Many of my friends in the adoption community have seen Ron Federici and never been back - they find him frightening. His practice is all but gone. He lies about everything - used to have on his website that he was a physician, which he is not. In the guardianship hearing for his daughter the judge was horrified to learn that he had represented to multiple people that he was his daughter’s guardian - a blatant lie. Ron’s path to “helping” these children, including his own, is CONTROL, to the point of child abuse. When his daughter dared to leave home to escape his control, his response was to seek guardianship. Quite a guy and NOT the model I look to for adoptive parenting.

      Comment by adoptivemom1 | February 23, 2009

    47. I agree FEDERICI is MOM4ALL.my family and I also know him and this is the way he speaks of children, and his children. It is all about controll. Whats the deal with him putting his son in a mental institution? When and Why? How old was his son , how could he do this?Please explain???

      Comment by teddybear99 | February 23, 2009

    48. Regarding “mom4all”…The only person who could be this ga-ga for Federici is Federici! And as for caring, mom4all comes off sounding about as caring as a bag of rattlesnakes.

      Federici’s book and the *Dateline* program clearly show that there are very serious problems with his methods.

      Comment by Linda Rosa, RN | February 24, 2009

    49. Hey mom4all,YOu write, “Get your facts straight, if you WANT WRITE OR CALL ME DIRECTLY!) I would love to call you directly, we all would! I wish you could make us feel foolish, for I much rather feel foolish, then have this phony quack continue hurting more vaulnerable children. What is your number….lets talk

      Comment by teddybear99 | February 24, 2009

    50. Why on EARTH would the EMPEROR of all lost, damanged or “throw away” children, not want to take care of his OWN grandchild????? instead He would ENCOURAGE his daughter to “PLACE ” her??

      Comment by teddybear99 | February 24, 2009

    51. I would also love to contact you too, mom4all!You sound like a heartless fool . Obviously you have no idea about parenting or how to love a child UNCONDITIONALLY!!!You sound cruel and harsh and completely out of touch with reality. It sounds as though Federicis kids needed MORE love and HELP, and all you can do is put this child down!Why would anyone encourage their daughter to place their baby if their whole career was based on saving children? You have no answers, only excuses.Lets talk.

      Comment by anangel22 | February 24, 2009

    52. I wouldn’t put it past Federici to impersonate a mother who’s made use of his “treatment.” He must really be desperate at this point. “Mom4all” is clearly a vindictive, deluded person. I would pity Federici, if he weren’t so clearly abusive to children and viciously bullying to anyone who even begins to criticize him.

      Comment by R. | February 24, 2009

    53. Why does this person who supposedly has been so helped by Dr. Federici not divulge who they are? Elena is “out there” with her identity- what about you, her accuser? If you have been so helped, why won’t you proudly state who you are along with the names of all of the “professionals” you claim tried to help her? Unless of course if you are Federici. The truth is known by too many people and putting out anonymous posts is not going to work anymore. The house of cards is crumbling, thank goodness!

      I have known Elena, Dr Federici’s adopted daughter very well also. I have known her for years. She has always been a very sweet and well behaved young lady. To be candid, and I sincerely apologize Elena if this is unkind for me to say in this brief a manner, she has always been somewhat regressed in her behavior. This is undoubtedly in part due to the fact that her adoptive father raised her to be entirely dependent on him. He tried very hard to ensure none of his kids would ever get out of the house and away from his control. She wouldn’t have dreamed of smoking or drinking or any of the bad behaviors she has been accused of by her adoptive father. She was extremely physically and emotionally abused by her adoptive father for years, as were her 3 adopted siblings.

      I asked his son once why his dad works with children when it is obvious that he hates them so. His son said, “because who is going to believe us? He can get away with whatever he wants and no one will listen to us”. This boy is enlisted in the Marines now, and he would be better off in Iraq than back home with his adoptive father.

      Of his 4 adopted children, only one remains at home. He is there because he is the only one Federici managed to get a guardianship on even though he is now almost 25 years old, can read and write and hold down a job (which he has for many years). He is not even allowed to get a drivers license even though he is perfectly capable. The others got out, thank goodness. It is well known in professional circles that the supposed other 3 kids (of the “seven”) –are not his kids. One is a Russian girl who has both mom and dad–and lives with them in Russia. He has brought her over to the US for an occasional visit. She is not his daughter. The other two young ladies are Romanian girls. They have never even been to the US. He helped find foster homes for them, and they are now both grown now and out of foster care in Romania. They are not now–nor were they ever been his children. This lie is typical of what this man does. He truly doesn’t seem to be able to discern reality.

      Anyone who is even remotely considering trusting their children to this man needs to read the full disclosure on this web site
      http://www.childrenintherapy.org/proponents/federici.html

      What kind of professional lies about the number of children they have or the degrees they possess or what university they attended?

      Elena! There is a better life out there for you! You are beautiful and precious and there is only one YOU in the entire world! The Job Corps is a great opportunity for you to find a career. I hope and pray that enough truth and strength has been instilled into you that God can continue to lead you to freedom. Your story will help and bless others as you heal and raise your child. I am so happy and proud of you for your courage! Most people will never know what it takes for you to get out of there and stand up for yourself. But most of the people on this list will support and applaud you and God will honor your desire for a healthy life for you and your beautiful daughter!

      I remember when he met one of his secretary’s children for the first time when she had just had her baby. He was a beautiful healthy baby—and Dr. Federici’s very serious comment made for all to hear was, “I told you you should have had an abortion”. I assure you he wasn’t kidding. It isn’t you Elena!! It’s him—and you are rid of that—and your daughter will never have to suffer the way you have. Someday I hope you will write a book!

      Comment by momfororphans | February 24, 2009

    54. I Just wanted to thank all you guys that are backing me up! I havent been able to tell the truth until now. Thank you guys for listening and making me feel like a real person!

      Comment by LanieF1986 | February 24, 2009

    55. I applaud all of you for supporting Elena!

      Comment by teddybear99 | February 24, 2009

    56. You are an amazing person..we are all here for you. Continue telling the truth, you need to be able to free yourself of his grip! This is sad I am sure, and hard for you. Know that we all care very deeply about you! You are a real person!!!

      Comment by anangel22 | February 24, 2009

    57. I can also backup” momfororphans”….Every word said is true! His children have all been abused and controlled.He has tried to silence them.Tell us about the mental institution “lanief” that he put your brother in.. WHY?

      Comment by anangel22 | February 24, 2009

    58. It happened almost a year ago. My stepmom and her daughters and my daughter and I went back home to find all the locks on the doors have been changed. We called my brother and he didnt know anything about it and he got pissed because my dad said that he was going to work everything out with my stepmom and make everything all right. Well he lied to my brother so my brother broke a window in the house to try to let us in. My dad sent him to the mental hospital. Then he told the doctors that mystepmom wasnt allowed to visit or to call him! My brother stayed in the mental hospital for the weekend! Now my dad blocked all the numbers so that he cant call my stepmom or her daughters!

      Comment by LanieF1986 | February 24, 2009

    59. Even if all you all have said here is only a tip-of-the-iceberg, this man’s family is more dysfunctional than the House of Windsor. Even if Mom4All has part of it right, then this man she claims to be a miracle-worker apparently met his match with Lanie. Hardly a ringing endorsement.

      It’s an odd kind of defense to say that he “helps” so many others, but with all his skill can’t deal with a typical case in his very own home. Physician heal thyself! (Oops, he ain’t a physician, either.)

      I note that Mom4All has seemingly bowed out for now. I wonder if that’s because s/he is preparing a copyright complaint to bring down this blog. That appears to be the modus operandi.

      Comment by Under-the-spell | February 24, 2009

    60. It sounds like your brother was trying to “defend” you girls. Federici punished him? Why does he have gaurdianship of him? I bet he has scarred this child to death , locking him up in a mental ward.Its like in the old days of HOBBELING!! The prisioners COULDNT leave!What kind of monster instills that amount of fear in a child? How did he get away with this? Maybe its like the “other son” said,NO ONE will believe US!!!!!

      Comment by teddybear99 | February 24, 2009

    61. No, we will not bow out or have any complaints. It is just sad that you all do not know the facts. The brother is at home, as are the others. There was never any mental hospital, as she claims. he comes and goes to our home to visit his brother, and they are all happy at home with dad. We talk to all the family all the time, and they are all just about tired of lanies antics which have gone on for many years. They reached a point where she was so deceitful and robbing the home, that she had to go. She refused all help, and liked to live a very destructive lifestyle–just like she did before he adoption. This girl created more havoc than can be imagined. We talked to many of the family members, and even found out she had to leave the birthing home because she assaulted a staff member, and had so many problems that they kept her away from her own baby as she was deemd unfit to be near the child. to date, she is not allowed anywhere near the baby as she made threats of harm, and no one trusted her. this is documented in all the christian home records and with the family and step mom who took over and placed the child–she had no say so over it as she wanted no part of the child. the father paid for everything, and even took her back in after all her crazy behavior. she will have a tough life, and even tougher with all the people that enable her as opposed to pushing her to deal with her own issues. even the oldest friend of the family, kathleen, who babsat her and helped her, gave up. there is a real true story here that none of you are hearing. she was given all the help and family support, but her long standing problems that she rejected, kept her down. the family has tons of reports to validate all this. you can believe her all you want, but that will never help her. this is what she has done her whole life–lie, steal and make up stories. there were some better times when she took her medicines and had a job, but she got fired from almost every job for bad conduct. this is fact. and we know her dad and mom tried their best, but some kids like this need a lesson in life like she is getting now. enabling her is like enabling an alcoholic to keep drinking. be supportive, but push her to deal with the real truths of her life and behaviors and not blame everyone else for her issues. help was there and she rejected it all. there are tons of people who we can give numbers and names–all adults and professionals and people who knew her from day one, that would set the record straight. just try to be fair here, and help her with life and her confusion. she has already hurt enough people. so she should find a better way to stop and be happy.

      Comment by mom4all | February 24, 2009

    62. We would be happy to help you and your brothers any time .and your daughter too.

      Comment by teddybear99 | February 24, 2009

    63. On losing your child to adoption~

      It would be OVER MY DEAD BODY, pried from my STIFF COLD FINGERS that ANY grandchild of mine would be given up for adoption. Family HELPS family;~))
      I am sorry that happened to you;~(

      Comment by chowchow22 | February 24, 2009

    64. Hey mom4all, whats your num.? Talk to us!!! I mean dr.!You should read the nonsense you write? Apparently you dont know what REALLY happened to this poor child at the hands of Federici!And to BLAME her for anything that happened to her pre-adoption??The great and powerful R-FED couldnt fix her??????What up with that? I thought he was the Emperor????

      Comment by teddybear99 | February 24, 2009

    65. I have to wonder also what kind of parenting are you doing when you blame the child’s past? I can only imagine what damage our child would have had if we crammed his past down his throat. He wasn’t the perpetrator, he was the victim.
      Is that “attachment parenting” or something?

      Comment by chowchow22 | February 24, 2009

    66. anone wanting to talk to me and the brothers and the family members, we will do that in a respectful manner. the father wants no part of people who are not sensible. I am happy to talk to you by phone or e-mail. just do not wish to post my home or cell number on this site. remember, she gave up the child, and was not allowed to be near her. fact. so tell me a way we can speak, but only with respect. fyi–all the brothers are at home, and doing well, as we see them all the time. the marine is home every week, and all the boys know what she is saying and are just about to cut her loose again, as they have been through her problems for years. they would be happy to tell you the facts.

      Comment by mom4all | February 24, 2009

    67. comment to chowchow:you are a wonderful person.Thankyou for sharing your story!We would never let our grandchildren out of our sight!Our children need us forever , no matter how old, we are always the parents. Older, wiser, and there to help.forever

      Comment by anangel22 | February 24, 2009

    68. mom4all
      Words like “hurt child” “wounded child” seem more appropriate in my opinion than “damaged child/adult”. It makes me wince and implies that they are “less than” and hopelessly flawed. Which is not true at all. My son is quite perfect;~))

      Comment by chowchow22 | February 24, 2009

    69. we know this family, mom4all does not speak the truth!We have always known something was very wrong.We heard R-Fed.got married, then wife and kids GONE ? Maybe R.FED. will say the new wife was “mental” too?

      Comment by teddybear99 | February 24, 2009

    70. anangel, thank you. Isn’t that just what family does if they are not dysfunctional though? Why should a child be cast out of the family like they did something wrong by being born.They should not IMO.

      Comment by chowchow22 | February 24, 2009

    71. yes,that is what family does, universally. We help our children. I shutter too when I read mom4all’s words. These children are not “less than”, they are CHILDREN, waiting and needing to be loved.

      Comment by anangel22 | February 24, 2009

    72. Perhaps mom4all could explain why Federici is listed as an attachment therapist on the web site radkid.org, a site which supports attachment therapy and supplies names of approved therapists to the public. Given mom4all’s objection to the “attachment stuff”, I wonder, is this an error? Does he plan to ask for his name to be removed?

      Comment by Jean Mercer | February 24, 2009

    73. Ms. Mercer, you raise a great question? Do you think that mom4all will answer?

      Comment by anangel22 | February 24, 2009

    74. Iam reading the last pages of Federici’s comments(MOM4ALL) You have insulted our intelligence for far too long my friend . Your MISCONDUCT has gone on way too long at the EXPENSE of those in need of the most love………..These paragraphs are INAPPROPRIATE and therefore proof it is from you ronald. You DEGRADE all, and you are furthering our understanding of your despicable “techniques”, by these past days deaming your daughter.

      Comment by truth | February 24, 2009

    75. Has a case ever been opened in ref. to the son that still lives there with Federici? Maybe there is record of abuse or a least a complaint in the system. Just curious?

      Comment by teddybear99 | February 24, 2009

    76. I wouldn’t expect so, anangel22. This group of people generally just ignore awkward questions, or have their attorneys write vaguely threatening letters to opponents whom they can’t immediately intimidate. But since RSF and Co. have recently been eager to bring down web sites they disagree with, I thought it would be interesting to query this point. Presumably mom4all knows the answer, in one way or another.

      I’ll let you know if I receive anything from the attorneys, which may happen, as I’m using my real name.

      Comment by Jean Mercer | February 24, 2009

    77. Federici has openly bragged about hitting his daughter so hard with a 2 by 4 that he literally broke it on her. He has dragged her around the room by her hair (he continued this into her adulthood and she would even cut her own hair off to try to keep him from doing it), and struck her repeatedly over a period of many years. The son who is in the Marines was beaten so badly when he was 5 years old (he was adopted at age 4) that Federici and his then wife kept him home from school for 2 weeks. He thought he was getting special privileges as he was allowed to sit in the hot tub every day while at home recovering so no one would see his bruises. He too is a very sweet and well behaved boy.

      As horrific as this is, the emotional abuse was probably much worse. He would tell one of his Romanian boys that he was just like his father and that he would end up in prison, until the boy would scream and cry and beg for Federici to stop, but that just egged him on.

      His first wife finally had enough and left. It didn’t take his second wife as long to figure things out and leave him as well. The “oldest friend of the family” is his office manager, Kathleen who he references in his post. She is no longer on his website as his employee (as she has been for 20 years)–so maybe she finally had enough too. Anyone who spends any time around Federici figures it out, but then they have to go through witness protection to get away!

      He brags about breaking peoples knees with a baseball bat, dousing a man with gasoline and lighting a match to threaten him to do his bidding, and hanging a man out of the window by his ankles to threaten him into acquiescing to Federici’s request.

      He has a slew of attorneys whom he regularly uses as attack dogs–suing so many people repeatedly until they are beaten down and broke. Hopefully this answers the question of why he still has his license. People are justifiably terrified of him.

      Lanie honey, there were witnesses to what he did to you. There were 2 moms, family and friends. This mom4all person is definitely him as you likely have figured out. Don’t engage him. The truth is known by many and most importantly by God. You should continue to share with this list as you need to and with people who can help you heal. Just don’t feel that you have to respond to his ridiculous allegations.

      Comment by momfororphans | February 24, 2009

    78. Thankyou Ms. Mercer, I am sure all of us would love to know if you are contacted by Federici’s attorneys.I commend you for using your name!!!!!!

      Comment by anangel22 | February 24, 2009

    79. How in God’s name has this guy gone on this long?Flying under the rador I suspect? We are very sympathetic to you Lanie.”Momfororphans” has set the record straight. We are very sad to learn these details. He sounds very dangerous and violent! He should be in jail for these crimes. Anyone who knows more of these sick stories, please come forward…

      Comment by teddybear99 | February 24, 2009

    80. In our home it felt like we were in battle all the time. My dad has this special thing that he does all the time. Its called divide and conquer. He would divide my brothers and me so that we would be weak and he would be able to control us that way. He would make us fight against ourselves so that we wouldnt get together and fight together. We would tell on each other so that we wouldnt be in the spotlight One day we told my dad that my older brother (the one that has hemophilia) wanted to kill himself. My dad took my brother and beat the living daylights out of him! I couldnt believe it! How could someone do that to another person? The last time that he tried to control me and hold me down I bit him. I was trying to leave the house and he wouldnt let me. He was going to put a choke hold on me and I wouldnt let that happen. So I bit him to let me go. When he took me to court he made up a lie saying that I was trying to leave and he wanted to talk to me and I attacked him! Whenever I tried to get close to him he would act all nice until later on he uses the things that I tell him against me! He would add on to the things that I would tell him making me feel stupid for even trying to trust him. I realized that you can Never trust this man or even try to.

      Comment by LanieF1986 | February 24, 2009

    81. momfororpans-I,too, have witnessed his manic rambling about him and his mafia friends dousing a man with gasoline and hanging him from a window;heard him brag about mafia ties(Anthony Federici);What upset me most however, was the fact he would talk about his childrens biological parents, how they were mentally ill, while the children would all be in the same room!! He would go on to say his children all suffered with the same mental illnesses as their parents, while the children WERE in the ROOM!!!!!!!!!! It was as though he was the ring leader of a circus,always putting on a show and he was speaking about his “freaks”-and where they came from———I WITNESSED THIS-TRUTH

      Comment by truth | February 24, 2009

    82. Talking about the real parents that way is awful IMO.

      Comment by chowchow22 | February 24, 2009

    83. Wow, so many awful things.

      Comment by chowchow22 | February 24, 2009

    84. I am close to the boys. what elena says is true.mr.fed.has gone to far and is racist.he put me and my culture down too.he called his grand daughter spick spanish scum. and a bastard.i left too.

      Comment by s.todd | February 24, 2009

    85. How respectful of children is Federici? Here are a few examples from his presentation at the 2004 ATTACh conference:

      * You know why [girl] liked me? The first time she wouldn’t come in. I dragged her in my office. And she was cussing at me in Russian. I said, “Listen. You think that’s bad, hear this.” And I gave her a dose of her own medicine.

      * Because kids are good in the box, who have neurodevelopmental disorders. They’re very good if it’s structured and strategic or if somebody’s breathing down their neck in this 24/7 operation.

      * People think I’m sarcastic. I’m really not. I’m manipulative. I’m very manipulative person. The kids in my office that do this kind of crazy stuff. I always have a bag of popcorn. Because I love popcorn. Unbuttered, you know. And so the kid is starting a tirade. I’m eating the popcorn. Popcorn. Yah. They’re on saying, “What are you doing?” And I say, “I’m eating popcorn.” “Why’s that?” “This is just like watching a science fiction movie.”

      * I might bring [my children] to Iceland. They’re for show and tell. You know what they’ll tell those kids there? They’ll say, “Listen, let me tell you what my dad’s going to do if you don’t stop.” They’ll, they’ll scare them.

      Comment by Linda Rosa, RN | February 24, 2009

    86. he always talked about their real parents in front of us all the time.he said they were JUST LIKE THEM.he meant it in a very bad way and it made my friends angry and they would cry.he said that they were very bad people,their real parents, and that he saved their life from them.he said he knew all of their parents and they were mental,drug u sers ,drinkers,and other very bad sex stuff i wont write.he said this stuff ALL the time.

      Comment by s.todd | February 24, 2009

    87. mom4all, I asked you this question earlier but you didn’t answer.
      I have never heard of any abuse by the natural parents of the children from Romania or the USSR who are in orphanages. What evidence did you recieve to make you believe that?
      Also you said Mr. Federici brought your son from Romania along with his 2 siblings and you only adopted one and his family adopted the other 2.
      Why split siblings?
      How did he legally get the children out of the countries without adopting ALL 3 himself first? Did he do a disruption with one child?

      Comment by chowchow22 | February 24, 2009

    88. If Ronald Federici is truly opposed to the copious abuses inherent in Attachment Therapy, then why does he persist in trying to shut down any and all outlets who combat the very abuse he CLAIMS to renounce himself?

      Lanie is obviously a hard-working young woman who has suffered greatly. Instead of expressing any sort of true compassion or sympathy, “mom4all” persists in targeting her with vitriol and the worst kind of condescension, all wrapped up in an insufferably sanctimonious piety and pseudo-concern. “Mom4all,” if you are truly a mother and not just a Federici sockpuppet as the evidence suggests, you’re doing your beloved “Emperor” much more harm than good.

      I’d be very surprised if this blog is not targeted with yet another false, stupidly-constructed DMCA complaint: http://childtorture.wordpress.com/2009/02/06/ronald-federici-tries-and-fails-to-shut-down-a-search-for-survivors-in-its-entirety/

      Comment by Wayward Radish | February 24, 2009

    89. Mr Fed. does not speak to that family in texas who has my friends brother.they hate him. and one of the sons that Mr. Fed. adopted ran away to texas to be with his brother last year. he is there now in school.the last brother wants to go to texas but cant because Mr. Fed. wont let him,and Mr.Fed has control of him. he DID put him in the mental part of the hospital over the summer.it was for 5 days “not the weekend,” and none of us could call or visit.he was only trying to protect his stepmom and sisters.

      Comment by s.todd | February 24, 2009

    90. I AM VERY PROUD OF EVERYONE HERE! thankyou for your love and concern about these children!

      Comment by anangel22 | February 24, 2009

    91. I thought I’d developed a thick skin after working on this kind of thing for some years, but I didn’t sleep much after reading some of these posts.

      I’m wondering, are there any NAMI members among the people who have posted? What can be done to motivate NAMI to fight this systematic mistreatment under the guise of therapy? I don’t mean to imply anything about anyone’s diagnosis or lack of diagnosis, just that NAMI is a national organization with a good deal of lobbying power and a history of concern about how mental health funds are spent. They have also taken a serious interest in the regulation of restraint and seclusion. Their support and concern would be of great help– but I don’t know how to get their attention.

      Comment by Jean Mercer | February 25, 2009

0

Sick and twisted mind-games

I had trouble reading this discussion.

I had trouble because I KNOW how evil and manipulative some control-freaks can be.

I had trouble reading this thread because I KNOW how some people with a dark history can twist a story to manipulate others.

I had trouble reading the responses made by "mom4all" because it reminded me how twisted some people can be when they are hell-bent on hurting and deceiving others, while pleasing themselves.  [I also have a HUGE problem with the type of AP that always places blame on the biologic parents for a child's bad behavior, especially since many of us did not come from crack-head alcoholics OR abusive/negligent homes!!!  Many of us actually came from unwed mothers who were told they should not keep their baby.... because as a single-parent, they were "unfit" to parent. Unfit, due to not being married. (And yet HOW many single-people are allowed to adopt?)

Last, but not least, I had trouble reading the words of an angry and upset AP who is determined to believe only an adoptee can play mean cruel head-games.

One of my <ahem> all-time favorite features of the sadistic control freak Adoptive Parent is his/her two-faced personality.  In front of people, outside the home, these people are talkative lively likable people who engage in all sorts of conversations.  They seem to be kind, social "people-loving-people", who love to help and be helpful.  [Gaining the trust and sympathy of others is key to their twisted sense of success.]  They love to tell stories about their achievements and how the road to success was a hard and troubled one.  They are victims, survivors and heros to anyone who will listen.  In secret, these people are very angry, bitter, jealous individuals.  In time, the SCF (sadistic control freak) slowly reveals he/she has one or two "especially troubling situations", and soon the stories for the captive audience begin, with a vengeance.  [Meanwhile, this outside audience has no idea what is the truth and what isn't because the people this SCF mentions is not present during these conversations.  All the audience hears is how bad... how unstable.... how downright scary and frightening the other person is... and how life has been all but ruined because of this wretched individual.  The goal, in other words, is to make "the other person" look as bad as possible so the SCF looks like a saint with the stength of Atlas and the character of a loving devoted victim worth so much more.]

Of course, those who live with this person know differently.  At home, the SCF is an angry, bitter, even vicious and jealous person who demands all sorts of things from his/her spouse/children. 

Life with this person is irrational and unpredictable, but to hear if from the SCF, the problem is not him/her, but the other person/people who are angry, demented, dangerous psychos.  Typically, the things they accuse others of doing are the very things they are doing behind closed doors.  It's pure insanity, and there is no escape from the person who claims, "You cannot leave until I'm done with you."

These people can make a person's private life a living miserable hell.... and sadly, only then is the SCF finally happy and satisfied.

If Federici is indeed this sort of man/parent, I know his type all too well.

Sick and twisted mind-games

I do not speak English . so I'll use Google translator .

You have written a lot of accusations. Do you think this is an excuse for child abuse ? You do not have to adopt children if you do not know how to raise children. You do not have to travel to another country and cheat a child. You do not have to touch the child if you are not able to give him a chance at a better life. I'm Russian . I want you with a total that 80% of Russian population approve of the ban adoptions for Americans. Because only in the United States there is no protection for Russian orphans. Only in the U.S. is widely used sadism for orphans . Russian children have committed murders in the United States. more than 60,000 Russian children have never committed murder . American adoptive parents killed 20 Russian children. We constantly hear about the victims in the U.S. Russian children. Rapes , beatings , torture, humiliation . USA is a country of killers and sadists ? You make the image of the United States. This is a very bad image . In the U.S., there have been cases of justification killers and sadists if damaged Russian children .
You are terrible people . You fight against children. That's a shame . You promised paradise life to children but the children died of hunger in the United States of torture, or were beaten to death. HORROR ! You must return the children in Russia . You are not worthy to be with Russian children.

Thanks

The conversation has been updated with new comments -- the thread now stops 125. I would encourage any fellow adoptees and child advocates here to go join in the conversation and lend Lanie their moral support.

She is a young woman with a small child who has good reasons to be very frightened of her father, and I believe it does her good to know that there are people out there who are concerned for her safety and are actively opposed to Federici's methods.

-Wayward Radish

"Tops." Tops 125. *sheepish*

"Tops." Tops 125. *sheepish*

watch out

everyone he is really mad and is going to make all of us spend all our money to him because we are questioning his relationship with his daughter

and saying maybe it is not a good idea to hold kids down on the ground...

or a lot of that other stuff...

Federici lies

It's just bullying on Federici's part, and STUPID bullying at that.

He doesn't have a leg to stand on, and he knows it (or maybe he doesn't, who knows what goes on in that man's head), so he's resorting to completely insane, desperate tactics that anyone with a modicum of legal knowledge can see not to take seriously.

yeah right

This sounds like Federici trying to scare everyone by masquerading as an anonymous, concerned individual --and doing a piss-poor job of it to boot. What an idiot!

please read link

http://childtorture.wordpress.com/2009/03/01/a-letter-from-the-emperor-h...

they have his daughter's blog shut down, or I guess I mean the blog his daughter was communicating on about her life with her adoptive dad and him putting his granddaughter in foster care...

this was the same kind of e-mail I got from the attachment therapist we went to when I began to question his actions, behavior, mat holding therapy, emotional abuse of my daughters, I could go on....

It will be interesting to see where it goes from here.

Big thanks again to Wayward Radish, you guys here, Linda Rosa, and the rest for being out there.... Thanks for taking the time to care about this issue...

another family in Virginia...

ChowChow22's post thread SAVED

Here's the saved html page with the rest of the comments (all 133 of them) from the blog before it was deleted:

http://www.mediafire.com/file/mjotmzquzc0/IsFedericiSilencingTheAdopted....

Check it out, as there are some particularly noteworthy comments towards the end of the thread. They definitely bear reading!

Federici is broke

According to this http://childrenintherapy.org/proponents/federici.html Federici is pretty much broke. So it's no suprise that he wants money, but he probably doesn't even have enough to get a lawyer in the first place.

For what it's worth...

I'm often NOT surprised to learn/see what people will do for money.  Unfortunately, when it comes to certain practices within the adoption industry, some people tend to show whole new lows in what I call "human decency".

Maybe "going out of business" for some is not such a bad thing for parents with children.

wow..... omg .... wow. i'm

wow..... omg .... wow. i'm not often speechless. That "dr." needs to be put away.

triggering and hard to read

As an adoptee who was removed from a loving home to be placed in an abusive adoptive home, the comments made by mom4all were  emotionally triggering and hard to read, especially starting from number 17. I couldn't continue after reading the lines "We all know the truth, especially all your relatives, that you have lied about everything. We knew your mother who could no longer deal with you and your father picked up all the pieces. We all know that there was no abuse–only from the time before you were adopted and now blame your problems on those who cared for you."
It was triggering because adoptive father said similar things to defend himself when truth was revealed. He  told my adoptive mother that  I was lying and sick and that I was raped by my biological father, and that I was projecting on him what my biological father had done to me. At the beginning, nothing was changed as my adoptive mother didn't respond and only kept getting drunk more and more. Two years later, she said she believed me and pressured me to sue him. He told everyone.the same things he had told to my adoptive mother. He repeated the same thing at the court to defend himself. His real children believed him. But they couldn't know who was saying the truth as they didn't lived with us. Years later one of them went to the church I used to go to sell life insurances and he told the pastor that I was a liar and that I had falsely accused his father of sexually abusing me. The only good thing that came out frome their evilness is that I left the church and christianity forever.
 
Adopters can too easily accuse the natural parents of their own evil actions, because the natural parents are absent. They can too easily blame the adoptee's life before adoption because people tend to believe adults over children, especially if the adults are adoptive parents. 

My real father was good and honest man. My male adopter was a liar, a sexual abuser, and hypocritical.   By falsely accusing someone else of his own actions instead of taking responsability,  he became a coward. I despised myself for having once consider him as my father.
Being accused of lying is hurthing enough. It's much more hurting to hear your abuser,  whom you consider o be your father, accusing your real father. 

Pound Pup Legacy