Being razed on an Ant Farm

Contrary to many adoptees I've met, I know where I come from, I've always known where I come from. I am the product of a within-the-family-adoption. I was born September 9, 1965 in The Hague. So much for the verifiable facts, the rest is part truth, part legend, part fact.

My birth parents had been married for about 10 years and already had two children, a son 10 years older and a daughter 5 years older than me (fact). Their marriage hadn't been going well and being the sixties they started experimenting with the notion of free love (legend).

Somewhere down the line my birth father met another woman (fact) whom he fell in love with (legend), but before moving in with her he made one final attempt to patch things up with my birth mom (legend) and she receptive to that(truth, I am living proof). My birth father left to his new woman and by the time I was born this new woman was already two months pregnant (fact).

My Birth mother tried to take care of me and legend has it she did not do well. After a year she asked a sister-in-law of hers to take care of me for a while and that's how I ended up on the ant farm. While presumed to be in my interest, it ended up being very much in the interest of the woman I learned to know as my mother. She needed a child and I was the perfect opportunity to project all her unfulfilled desires upon and so she did. She got lucky, I didn't. She had a child and through that child she had a second childhood. That it was at the expense of me it never occurred to her; her selfish needs were just too strong for that.

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more truth, as I see it...

What's interesting to me is this: just because you know from whence your early days began, that by no means suggests you do not live in a constant daze.

Adoption, just clouds those murky issues even more. Such vexing FUN!

In any case, I'm curious... why do you use the redundant term "Birth mother". Is one who gives birth, anything but a Natural Mother? Sheesh!

[I feel the need to retreive an archived blot of mine!]

Pound Pup Legacy