"My name is Kerry, and I'm an angry, hurt and confused adoptee"
There are days I don't know whether to laugh or cry at my need for a 12-Step Program for adoptees who got hurt by/through/from their "adoption experience".
I am angry for the same reason why many Angry Adoptees are: I have no access to my birth records; I have no reliable medical history; I have no idea if I have brothers or siblings; I don't know my parent's last name, or know if they are alive or dead. And unlike most domestic angry adoptees, as one who was flown over country borders, I am angry I have two countries denying me my right to know who birthed me.
Anger issues aside, I am above all things, hurt.
I have been hurt by my owners. I have been betrayed and rejected by my owners. I have been humiliated and degraded, thanks to my owners, and I have suffered my entire life because of my adoptive owners.
These are not your every-day-run-of-the-puppy-mill adoption issues, but they have become my daily burden thanks to a private adoption agency and lazy careless workers who did not do their homework when placing me among strangers in another land. I am hurt because no one cared about "what happens next".
Last but not least, I am confused by an industry that seems to contradict everything it does and claims. For instance, can someone please explain to me why loving adoptive parents are the best cure-all for those adoptees suffering from The Primal Wound? How is it we live in a world where the cause (adoption) has become the cure, and people are buying this as human science? I am confused by the terms and conditions they use in regards to "care" given to a child. Can anyone explain why so few in-depth back-ground-checks are done on workers and PAP's (and their extended families), when a child's life and safety is at stake? I am confused by the rush to judge "unfit parenting", and the lack of follow-up care given post placement. Basically, I am confused about so many things done by and through adoption services, and I'm so gravely disappointed so few really care.
No. I am angry so few people care about the censored/banned/unpublished adoption experiences so many children were "lucky" enough to be touched and chosen to see, feel, live and breathe -- first-hand.
Today is a very bad day: I am angry, hurt and confused. Today is not much different from any other day.
Now I need to lick some old wounds....
<returning to my bed>