sexual abuse also

oh and also for sexual abuse, how do you know that you were sexually abused? if you have this feeling about something...and you don't know EXACTLY what happened or you think you do but it is not exactly clear yet-you just have this strong intuition about it???  Has this happened to anybody???  because I don't want to come out with what I know to be true...if it is somehow shrouded in confusion.



Tread VERY carefully

There is much danger in false-image.  There are some people who know for certain sexual abuse/rape/molestation took place.  The memories and flashbacks are strong and the damage can easily been seen through other intimate relationships.  Unlike recent broken bones or cuts and bruises, sexual contact made a long time ago cannot be proven. 

Perhaps a good place to start for yourself is read the following list, and ask yourself, "Do I take these answers to a professional who can help me sort these issues in my own mind?"

Think back to your childhood do you have any of the following memories?

  • a sudden fear of specific things, people, places (bathroom or —i.e. the room where the abuse took place)?
  • act out inappropriate sexual activity or display unusual interest in sexual matters
  • temper tantrums, especially coinciding with visits to places or interaction with certain people?
  • violent behavior such as: kicking, hitting, biting—survivors feel extreme frustration and anger.
  • mood swings, hitting, withdrawal (abused children often feel alone, helpless and withdraw into a shell), culminating into depression.
  • difficulties with bed wetting or soiling after 4 years of age?
  • nightmares (monsters, being chased or bogey men), fear of going to bed or sleepwalking?
  • physical symptoms of sexual abuse such as: vaginal/rectal pain, itching, vaginal/rectal bleeding (bloodstains in underwear or pajamas), discharge, redness in genital area, or bladder/kidney infections
  • difficulty walking or sitting
  • stomach and digestive problems
  • complain of flu-like symptoms or not feeling well frequently
  • listlessness (robot-like, sitting quietly and unemotional staring into space until someone or something prompted you to ‘act.’)
  • self-inflicted pain (head banging, hair pulling, nail biting, body cutting/carving, frequent accidents (accident prone)
  • regressive behavior: baby talk, sudden clinging behavior
  • unexplained aggressiveness or rebellion
  • inserting objects into genitals/rectum—act out sexual behavior on dolls, toys or other children
  • aches and pains, headaches and other psychosomatic ailments
  • unusual knowledge and interest in sex beyond developmental level
  • panic attacks or anxiety
  • beginning stage of eating disorders
  • displaying adult or sexualized behavior (walking seductively, flirting, acting and talking like an adult).
  • drop in grades, difficulty concentrating
  • serious depression
  • inability to trust others
  • acting out self-destructive behaviors: alcohol and/or drug use, eating disorders
  • bathe excessively
  • feeling the need to be secretive
  • sense of carrying a deep dark secret
  • develop strategies for protection such as: layering, wearing baggy or safety-pinning clothes; sleeping on the floor; in the closet, under the bed or blocking your bedroom door
  • acting out pseudo maturity
  • sexually transmitted diseases
  • a dramatic increase in the frequency of masturbation or masturbation to the point of injury
  • acting out promiscuously
  • serious confusion regarding sexual identity
  • an aversion toward opposite sex
  • sexual interest in younger children

As an adult have you experienced, but not limited to the following complaints?

  • Little or no memory of childhood—age 3 to 12
  • Anxiety or Panic Attacks
  • Gastrointestinal disorders
  • Gynecological disorders
  • Vaginal/uterine cancer-women,
  • Testicular/prostate cancer-men
  • Frequent Headaches (migraines)
  • Arthritis (especially hands,legs)
  • Joint pain
  • Back pain—L3, L4 and/or L5 region
  • Eating disorders
  • Alcohol or drug abuse
  • Phobias
  • Depression
  • Low self-esteem
  • ADD or ADHD
  • Suicidal thoughts/attempts
  • Reoccuring Dreams of threat or entrapment
  • Reoccuring Dreams of rats or snakes, being chasted by a man/men or dogs
  • Inability to trust or trusting indiscriminately

[From:  Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, "Have You Ever Wondered if Your Were Sexually Abused?",]

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