What does a "piece of paper" represent?
In a previous post, the issue of ownership through a certificate was mentioned:
almost_human:
so you might have your kids on paper. but it's just a piece of paper.
So it is. So is my marriage license. And my birth certificate
I had to laugh because I don't think Big D knew what sort of land-mine he was stepping in when he mentioned the word "birth certificate" to an adult adoptee.
For his sake (and others), I'd like to direct some attention to a brief thread that was created when PPL first started. It discusses documents, and how a paper-trail affects us. http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/582 If nothing else, I think it would be helpful to reveal what other adoptees think and feel about something as simple as "owning a little piece of paper".
Comments
birth certificate and marriage license
I had to show my birth certificate to get married. Each time I need to show my birth certificate, it reminds me that my adoption was built on a heap of lies. I already said what I think about my birth certificate: http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/20327
I see many similarities and differences between a marriage and adoption. In western countries, a marriage licence is the result of a choice of adults who have decided to live together for life and who affixed their signatures voluntarily. Adoption certificate is also the result of a choice of adults who affixed their signature voluntarily, except that one who should have the main role (the child) had no choice, for this latter, It's like a forced or arranged marriage... In a marriage the role of the priest/judge ends after the ceremony; in a an adoption, the role of the adoption agency/lawyers ends after the adoption process...The results can give a forever family (like a succesful mariage), an abusive family (like an abusive spouse) or a dissolution/disruption (like a divorce).
Choose or lose
One can choose a marriage or adoption. How does an adult choose what's put on a birth certificate? [They are either facts, or fiction... truth or lies... these are what identify a person through-out his entire life!]
Like you, I needed my birth (church) and documents to marry in my a.parents Catholic Church. The problems with my documents did not take place until I applied for my passport. Only then did I learn, "something is not right with this piece of paper."
Because of one piece of paper, my life became a house of cards. Since then, my world - and all that I believed - has not been the same.
In my case, I have learned a piece of paper means absolutely nothing, especially when those names and dates are all long gone.
My first experience with getting a passport
I was 18 when I learned that my birth certificate is an useless paper.
I was going to Florida with my adoptive parents. I never needed to bring an identity with me because I had stopped going out since my 12 years old and they always kept my legal papers in a strongbox but I never questioned about them. At the airport, my father realized that our passports were left at home. Fortunately, he hadn't forgotten to bring our birth certificates. At that time, nobody needed a passport to cross the US border... Nobody except non-canadian. My birth certificate, made in Canada, states that I was born in Korea (the only truth in my documents) and with my slant eyes, it was obvious that I was an immigrant. We missed the plane.
When I applied myself for a passport later,I thought being an adoptee with a birth certificate made in Canada made me a real Canadian. At the passport office, after waiting several hours, I almost fainted when the employee said since I was not born in Canada, my birth certificate was not enough to prove my citizenship. I also needed to show the citizenship certificate.
Since this experience, I always renewed my passport on time, even if I don't travel. This way, I don't need to show my false-useless-legal birth certificate. It blew me away when the church asked me to show my birth certificate.
The loss of identity
I had to laugh at your experience, because really.... is there anything worse than feeling like you have NO PROOF of you own "legal" identity? When I tried to re-new my lost driver's license, I was told I'd have to go to St John's, Newfoundland to get "my original" (B.C), unless I could prove my identity through my marriage certificate and joint-bank account information. I remember standing in line at the DMV, humiliated and in a state of panic. I had to prove someone "owned" me.
"What do I do? Where do I go for something "official" and "legitimate?!?" It was all so insane... I had to prove the name seen on an unofficial birth certificate was ME, and although I was born in Canada, I had to prove I was indeed an American citizen.
Sure, it's laughable now, but there was NOTHING funny about not knowing how I was going to prove my identity to people who were looking for nothing more than a raised seal of approval. The worst part of it all was knowing no one I knew understood what it felt like having a birth certificate that could prove nothing. It was simply something I had to face and solve all on my own.
me too!
I was about six or seven and my parents took me to Windsor, Ontario, across the border from Detroit. Upon our return, we were detained for many hours. My father had brought everyone's birth certificates. But mine said I was born in Korea, and even though it stated my adoptive parents names as the parents, it was pretty apparent they didn't give birth to me! Even at the time, I felt thankful to the border patrol for doing their jobs and preventing baby abductors from crossing into America.
I just got the copy of my Ho Juk from Holt recently. Even that document is totally worthless. Family clan lineage is extremely important in Korea I hear, and because there are so many people who share the same limited pool of last names, the clan you belong to and the district where that branch of the clan originates is listed as well. Since I was categorized as abandoned, I am listed as chief of my clan. But they name the district of my clan's origin. But how would they know that if I was abandoned unless it is all a big fabrication.
So, like many international adoptees, I have two really worthless certificates of birth. Both of them retroactive. Somewhere there is a hospital where I was born and recorded with totally different information on it. That piece of paper didn't protect my identity, wherever it is hidden. Paper is meaningless in of itself.
The scary truth behind this little life-lesson...
Paper is NOT meaningless if it means money can be made or found.
The only thing accurate on my BC is the date and place of my birth. [Makes for fun re-threading the facts, doesn't it?] So as a piece of paper, with names, signatures, and a seal -- it's worthless in value until I have to pay the fee to have it corrected.
Lesson learned? I can't afford to lose my license or let my passport expire, EVER again!
So what does it mean if I have "current, updated documents"? Does it prove I am a "responsible person"? No, it proves I'm good at submitting to an authority that cares only about the money owed by the person named on that piece of paper.