Hmmm, I çan't seem to find the right option here to vote. I know I deny myself pleasures, when I have no-one to share it with. I love all the good things in life, but when all by myself I hardly ever treat myself to any of them.
I can't remember doing things for my own personal happiness or satisfaction. I have always seen my actions as being for the sake of another person. [Even "playing" as a child was a ways and means of pleasing my rest-needing-mother, because if I played quietly in my room or outside, I was doing my job of "keeping the house quiet".] Therefore, my deriving pleasure always came from my ability to please others... namely my Mother.
I didn't learn the power of personal-pleasure until I started my brief career at Victoria's Secret. Even so, applying for that job-position was at the urging of my oldest-child: she wanted me to look and feel pretty, and working at such a place would help me do that. [Sad how a 10 year old knew what I really needed...]
After 2 years, I had to quit the part-time job for family reasons.
Finding pleasure for me is always a surprise. It's not something I actively seek, and yet something in me refuses to work without wanting to Please.
I WAS ALWAYS RESPONSIBLE FOR MY MOTHER'S HAPPINESS...
LOOKING BACK, I FELT SUCH AN OBLIGATION TO MAKE UP FOR
SOMETHING. IT HAD BEEN MY FAULT.
WALKING AWAY FROM HER DEATH BED DIDN'T REALLY SET ME
FREE. I CONTINUED TO BE THE CAREGIVER; IT WAS WHAT I
HAD LEARNED TO BE.
MY HAPPINESS WAS NEVER CONSIDERED.
WOULD I EVEN RECOGNIZE HAPPINESS....
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Sharing the experience
Hmmm, I çan't seem to find the right option here to vote. I know I deny myself pleasures, when I have no-one to share it with. I love all the good things in life, but when all by myself I hardly ever treat myself to any of them.
Recent Discoveries
I can't remember doing things for my own personal happiness or satisfaction. I have always seen my actions as being for the sake of another person. [Even "playing" as a child was a ways and means of pleasing my rest-needing-mother, because if I played quietly in my room or outside, I was doing my job of "keeping the house quiet".] Therefore, my deriving pleasure always came from my ability to please others... namely my Mother.
I didn't learn the power of personal-pleasure until I started my brief career at Victoria's Secret. Even so, applying for that job-position was at the urging of my oldest-child: she wanted me to look and feel pretty, and working at such a place would help me do that. [Sad how a 10 year old knew what I really needed...]
After 2 years, I had to quit the part-time job for family reasons.
Finding pleasure for me is always a surprise. It's not something I actively seek, and yet something in me refuses to work without wanting to Please.
BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR SOMEONE'S HAPPINESS
I WAS ALWAYS RESPONSIBLE FOR MY MOTHER'S HAPPINESS...
LOOKING BACK, I FELT SUCH AN OBLIGATION TO MAKE UP FOR
SOMETHING. IT HAD BEEN MY FAULT.
WALKING AWAY FROM HER DEATH BED DIDN'T REALLY SET ME
FREE. I CONTINUED TO BE THE CAREGIVER; IT WAS WHAT I
HAD LEARNED TO BE.
MY HAPPINESS WAS NEVER CONSIDERED.
WOULD I EVEN RECOGNIZE HAPPINESS....
IN A WORLD OF WHY,
Teddy