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Playing Three Days Grace - Animal I Have Become

Wed, 2008-06-04 15:34 - Kerry

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The Official video can be found @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbHn1Pgj6Zk

Full lyrics without interruption:
I can't escape this hell
So many times i've tried
But i'm still caged inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
(This animal, this animal)

I can't escape myself
(I can't escape myself)
So many times i've lied
(So many times i've lied)
But there's still rage inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal

Somebody help me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
Somebody wake me from this nightmare
I can't escape this hell

(This animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal)

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
(This animal I have become)

Comments

Sat, 2008-07-19 02:09 — Kerry

Accepting The Animal

I've been having a difficult time lately with some old personal issues, and I know when I get in these phases, I am not at all easy to be with or talk to.  Those closest to me know  I relate the rage I feel as being the animal within me... and like a wounded animal, I will expose my fangs and prepare for an attack if/when I feel like my sense of security or personal safety is being threatened.

The following phrase in this song reaches me deeply:

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me

It reminds me how much I need adult acceptance, love and nurturing... not rejection when I'm feeling so scared and vulnerable.

What amazes me about this simple little truth is, I never knew this before.  Growing-up, so many sides of me had to be hidden... all in the name of "family protection".

I weep as a woman, yet cry like a baby when I take the time to think:  no one taught me how to accept ALL my feelings.

Sat, 2008-07-19 05:26 — Teddy

So Many Sides, Hidden

This sounds so much like what is being seen in me: Core/me, split up into many sides of me, hidden inside with my
pain.  But don't we sometimes get bombarded when those hidden sides rush at us here in the now and cause us to react AS that hidden part triggers us?  Do we dare keep them hidden, only to allow them to own us from within?  Can't we own them, bring them up and deal with them?  Aren't they a part of who we used to be and they need to be brought into the now of 2008?
Do we dare let them continue to keep us in bondage to the abuse they knew back then?
We are/were letting someone continue to control us, even from afar.  Run, Kerry; you were so right that God does not want us to continue in the controlling relationship that we learned to accept even from a child!  We need a more abundant life of freedom from what controlled us then, that made us choose that same control which destroys us, now.

IN A WORLD OF WHY,
Teddy

Sat, 2008-07-19 12:52 — Kerry

Sides of something

I sense something different, which I will try to explain.  You wrote:

But don't we sometimes get bombarded when those hidden sides rush at us here in the now and cause us to react AS that hidden part triggers us?  Do we dare keep them hidden, only to allow them to own us from within?  Can't we own them, bring them up and deal with them?  Aren't they a part of who we used to be and they need to be brought into the now of 2008?
Do we dare let them continue to keep us in bondage to the abuse they knew back then?

Intellectually, when I read this, is see you are speaking about raw emotions, being the hidden sides.  That makes very good sense, only the living-reality of An Animal doesn't feel as much as "react".

For instance, to this day, I don't "feel anything" when I react to a pulled trigger.  There are no thoughts or feelings behind an instinct that simply barks "YOU ARE WRONG!".  Only when I remind myself to behave like a human, do I remember to behave in a humane way and try to treat others like I now know I'd like (and need) to be treated.

I will add, too, it's only been within the past couple of years that I realized I have the deeper feelings of pain, fear and disappointment.  Before that, all feelings fell under "rage" or "approval".  Most therapists, I suppose, would call this "Black or white thinking", I call it primative survival.