Psycho-mom
I've been thinking about how and why I feel like I'm a deranged lunatic, and I've come to the conclusion that I get my f-ed up fears and neurotic behaviors from my psycho mom. Yes, she made me the fruit-cake nut-job that I am. Although, to be fair, the men in her life sure as hell didn't help me, either!
Although the woman who adopted me was never formally diagnosed with a mental illness, she, without a doubt in my opinion, belonged inside a psycho-ward, complete with padded walls and a limit to family visits. God knows I would have been much happier if I had seen far less of her.
To this day, I hate how people think because I was adopted, I escaped the cruelties a mentally ill parent can bring a child. I thought I was supposed to be protected from these sort of people. Instead, I was brought into this woman's world like fodder to the beast.
I can't ever remember any social worker coming around to see how I was doing. If they did, I would have told them the truth. I would have told them I thought I was being used and abused. I would have asked to be sent someplace else. Instead, I had doctor visits that psycho-woman took me to, and she never left the room. She had an answer for everything.
Everything about that family was secret, and those secrets still keep coming back to haunt me like no tomorrow. The part that sicken me most is, it didn't have to be like this! I could have, and should have been adopted by a more healthy, happy couple. But that's not how it works in the adoption lottery system.
Do adoption agencies really think they can determine who's an honest to goodness "good role model", or do they not care that true-blue psychos can hide their colors whenever they're trying to manipulate someone? Are agents really that stupid, or simply that greedy to make the final-sale?
Just once I'd like to see a psychological profile on the woman who adopts another woman's child, just to see how that profile compares to the mentally ill!
All I know is, because of her, the psycho-mom from hell, I'm terrified to be a mother, myself.
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ROSIE O’DONNELL: PSYCHO MOM
One for the Hollyweird files:
What? As if breast-feeding were only about satisfying the nursing mother’s needs and not the newborn’s? What kind of narcissistic loon would go on TV and say such things and expect to be viewed as a normal, responsible parent?
O’Donnell’s selfish, psycho comments were made on ABC’s The View last week as the panel discussed a “nurse-in” involving 200 women breastfeeding outside of ABC’s headquarters who were angry about negative remarks Barbara Walters had made about a breastfeeding mom. This site has more on O’Donnells remarks. Excerpt:
Me, me, me. Nyah nyah nyah.
Can the pathological self-absorption of Hollywood be illustrated anymore clearly?
A few of O’Donnell’s blog readers get it:
with someone's approval
I wonder how people like that can ever pass a home study. Suppose a child placed in her so-called family would have an understandable preference for Rosy o'Donnell's partner, it will probably be put on a low attention regime, because there is a a bigger need to be fed.
And children have been placed!!!
And some home study agency approved of it!!!
When reading up a bit on Rosy o'Donnell found this. It seems she even founded an adoption agency in NJ, Children of the World Adoption Agency, which is out of business now.
"This" For further viewing:
I tend to think anything that brings attention to the negative TRUTHS behind adoption somehow get censored (erased) from free public reading , so for the sake of security, and ensuring honest opinion be shared as it should, I thought I'd post the entire link you mentioned in "THIS"
Judging books by their covers
It doesn't surprise me.
I've dealt with CPS enough to know that too often parents are judged on the basis of superficial BS. They are very hung up on cleanliness, and if they are trying to make parents look bad, they'll exaggerate a sandwich crust to "rotting food everywhere". The only people I've known who could pass any CPS inspection anytime 24/7 are either OCD or meth addicts. Ever read "A Child Called It"? His mother's house was always clean, but that didn't make her a good mom!
The most abusive people I've known have all been manipulative and most cared a good deal about appearances. They know they have "dirty laundry" to hide, and when the social worker comes by, they turn on the charm. By contrast, normal parents who think they have nothing to hide admit that they have problems- the kids don't go to bed when they're told, sometimes they yell, just normal problems- don't look nearly as perfect. So, social workers who don't have good BS detectors or enough time to really get to know people might end up favoring perfect parents over flawed parents, not realizing that the parents who seem perfect are actually nut cases.
Judge, Jury and Executioner
To be honest, both sides of adoption-placement get hurt by the investigation that evaluates and determines parental ability. This inspector-role reminds me very much of the priest and Pope role in the Catholic Church, and it sure seems like the pious purity routine is a favorite safe image many can follow for a few hours at a time.... especially when an agent's interest in the ready-to-be-adopted child is superficial and brief. [Nothing personal SW's, I'm sure agents are working very hard to keep-up with their pre-assigned targets and quotas.] But knowing bureaucracy as I do, and how easy it is to fall into the trappings of"supply and demand", I bet money can just as easily influence and define who will be seen as "a picture perfect parent" and who will be told, "don't worry, I'm sure there will be a 'next time'".
Of course, I think far too often, the child is forgotten during this whole placement-process because what may seem fine and normal to one could be freaky crazy weird, to another. I know all about "appearances being deceiving", because it has been the story of my adopted life. There were some lies that were good and necessary ["it's ok you don't know anything about my mother"] and there were some lies that were deeply trouble-making ["it's ok you don't know anything about my parents."] It seems a lie is only bad if you get caught, and someone ELSE gets hurt. Lies and adoption seem to go hand-in-hand... it's just a matter of who's hand has the power to make a child feel loved and special, or a piece of unwanted garbage.
For some reason, this all reminds me of my a.dad's conversations with me. He liked to share his own breed of wisdom, so he'd often be heard saying something like: "You can't bullshit a bullshitter". <nodding my head like I knew what the crap he was saying> I remember being young, not knowing what a bullshitter was, exactly... I just knew he meant I should never lie to a liar, because there's all sorts of depths and levels to lying, and the last thing I would ever want is to be caught by an angry liar.
On that note, I found a great piece written by an adoptive mother who wrote about her "home inspection", and how un-natural it is to have a stranger enter your house and say, "You will make a perfect parent for this child I have to offer"