Is my legal adoption ethical?

I don't know if there exists such thing as an "illegal"adoption.  My adoption was done legally, through a legal, ethical and well known adoption agency. I became a legal orphan at the moment someone holding the (legal) authority wrote the word: "abandoned" on a (legal) paper. It coudln't be more legal than that!

When I found my siblings 27 years after being separated, they told me that I was not abandoned. He (my dad) died three years after losing me in loneliness, not knowing where I was. Nobody went to see my family to get their consent  before putting me up for adoption.  I had difficulty to believe them because an adoption agency put me  the label of  abandonment and I believed the last 25-26 years before finding them that I was abandoned.
I said 25-26 years, and not 27 years. It means that during about  1.5 year, there were some moments where I have questioned the abandonement. My heart was saying or wanted to believe that I was not abandoned.

I was only 5 years old when my (birth) family taught me my address - in case I would be lost.
At 7 years old, I was abandoned ( I though I was).  Since my mom's death at 6 years old, it was the third time that I though I was abandoned. So, I left the street where I was supposed to meet my dad without waiting him.  From the police station to the first orphanage, about a week had passed and I was already thinking that I was not abandoned. I gave them (the employees of the orphanage) my address and they promised me to find my house. Four months have passed and  a man (from another orphanage) came and asked the children who knew their addresses to raise their hands. I raised mine and I repeated my address. This man also promised me to search my house.  In my child' s head,  it was very difficult to find a house and that they did the best they could. I didn't know that they never searched my house before putting me up for adoption.

It was almost a year after my arrival, my Amother wanted me to learn my address by heart - in case I would be lost, for the same reason than my (birth) family. She was making me repeat and repeat again  the address. I knew only few words of French and I was already starting to lose my English, thus I couldn't explain her it wouldn't give nothing to memorize an address. I knew by heart my adress in Korea but nobody found my house.

With time, I started to understand that an address is used to find a house. Two years after my arrival, when I read the adoption papers saying that I was abandoned without  any information about my family, I started thinking that I was not abandoned.   I told it to my Amom but she explained me that I had to accept the reality even if it was hurting: I was abandoned.  She was right, I had to accept the hurting reality: I was abandoned by my dad and by a whole nation.

27 years of hurting reality and I found every informations (address, parent's names etc)  that I gave myself at my first orphanage. The 2nd orphanage and the adoption agency didn't see the need to write them. It's still hurting. A whole nation sold me to another country.

My adoption is still consider to be legal.
When adoptive parents say: "We wouldn't want a child from an unethical adoption. We used an ethical agency, the orphanage where our child comes from is ethical. Our adoption was ethical..." I wonder what they really mean by "ethical"?
I know that prospective adoptive parents and  adoptive parents want their adoption to be ethical.
Was  my legal adoption an ethical adoption?


My VERY humbled opinion...

how can ANY adoption be "legal" if BOTH natural parents do NOT offer mutual consent that they wish to treat their child as an orphan?

Being abandoned by a System is not at all the same as being abandoned by a parent or blood-relative.

Those are our harsh realities that need more than mourning.


divide and conquer

How legal is an adoption, when many of the legal safeguards are not followed up. I know for receiving countries an adoption is easily called legal as long as the organizations in those receiving countries have done everything by the book. That way there is a clear separation between the corrupt underworld in third world countries and the clean looking rich western world in which adoption agencies operate. Because of this division most intercountry adoptions can be called legal, while the entire process is corrupt as can be.

Many agencies call themselves ethical, but to me that is only window dressing. Is there a single agency in this world that is searching for parents for children that need a family? Is there a single agency that has children as their clientele, instead of prospective adopters? As long as the latter is the case I see no hope for ethical adoption. Prospective adopters want children (preferable as quickly as possible) and as long as the unethical practices are covered up, most are probably content with that.

Pound Pup Legacy