The Detached Path

Fate's free will to survive and thrive.

The choices we make determine the person we become.  But what about "the choices" that were made FOR us, setting us on a path detached and isolated from all that's safe and familiar?  How and why does misery stay alive for so long, when no one really wants to feel the discomforts of pain?

I find myself drawn to certain people... all because a recognizable path can be seen.  All of these people struggle with family-isses; but not all family-issues are the same, are they?  Detachment is what lives behind the focused eyes, but the inner-drive to keep moving and breathing is ruled by a completely different mind and force.

The core-path I follow is twisted, with many exiting avenues that lead many fellow-travelers to tangent-loss.  Sometimes I choose to stray from my unchosen road.  I get curious.... "How do others live off this beaten path?"  I can adapt to many of the changes each tangent can bring me (after all, adoptees from foster-care learn to adapt to many strange things), yet I always, ultimately, find the adapting phase far too stressful and uncomfortable.  Instinct tells me, "I don't belong here... this is dangerous... go back to where you belong!".  I look and long for my familiar road towards a home I have never known.  In a moment's notice, I'm gone... seeking escape, removing myself from the uncomfortable foreign path that makes me feel like crap, and I secretly allow myself the will to breathe with relief, " I'm returning to the road that's all my own".   I travel alone, because that's how my fated-path of separation got started.  Do I want to be alone?  No... I never, ever, once wanted what was given, I simply learned to accept what's presented, because who was I to resist?

I  have a theory about finding "the perfect" soul-mate.  This companion is stead-fast and true, because he/she walks the same path, the same footsteps and keeps the same rhythmic pace as "the you" who sits still, or keeps moving.  It's not forced, but a force of attraction that cannot be described or explained.  What makes this force unlike anything or anyone else?  The attraction towards eachother is completely natural, mutually found, and equal, in every possible way. There is no loss with this person, only gain.

I long for the day I find my soul-mate, and never have to walk alone, wondering "When will your force break-apart, and go away?".