I haven't been around much lately but for a very good reason. My daughter is 8 days over due with my first grandchild! God it makes me sound old. I don't feel old enough to be a mum let alone a Nan but I'm so excited! She is going to be started off on Thursday so I will soon be holding my grandson.
I can't describe how I feel. It probably sounds very self absorbed but for the first time in my life I have a sense of belonging and roots. I know that must sound strange, I haven't quite worked out myself yet why it feels the way it does. Up till now it's just been me and my kids. Until I discovered my family almost 3 years ago the kids family started and ended with me and their Dad. Their Dad was brought up in care and the only information he has from care records is that his mum died when he was 5 and his dad was deported back to Persia the same year. I feel like I'm becoming apart of a family tree! I started off as a stick and grew three twigs (that's how it felt) and all of a sudden the addition of a new baby has blew away my vision of sticks and twigs and replaced it with a vision of a real healthy tree! Yeh, I know, I sound mad, but god it feels good! The best thing is my daughters son will never ever have to feel like he has no roots.
You can be sure I will be back with more mad thoughts and excited rambles within the next few days!