Stages of Anger

Stages of grieving are DABDA:  Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.  (Kubler-Ross)  I learned this in Nursing School, and used it A LOT when I worked with cancer patients on an oncology floor.  [I lasted a year...].

  • Denial (this isn't happening to me!)
  • Anger (why is this happening to me?)
  • Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)
  • Depression (I don't care anymore)
  • Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)
  • I believe there are stages/ranges of anger, too.

    I just thought I'd share the various ever-changing stages of anger I have seen and felt so far during my life-experience.

    Stages of Anger

    • Annoyance (this is annoying)
    • Disgust (this is frustrating)
    • Anger (this is getting me angry)
    • Deep (hostile) Anger (now I'm pissed)
    • Rage (I'm coming after you)
    • Black Rage (I don't care what the hell happens to you)

    I'm working on stages of Recovery.  So far I have:

    • Breathe
    • Reach out to someone I like
    • Breathe (this step gets repeated, often)
    • Don't get too angry
    • Breathe
    • Slowly let the cancer out
    • Grieve (don't forget to breathe)
    • Learn to stand
    • Limit self-punishment
    • Learn to walk
    • Accept feeling good (lots of deep breathing)
    • Live
    0

    where am I am and what can be done?

    Stages of Anger

    • Annoyance (this is annoying)
    • Disgust (this is frustrating)
    • Anger (this is getting me angry)
    • Deep (hostile) Anger (now I'm pissed)
    • Rage (I'm coming after you)
    • Black Rage (I don't care what the hell happens to you)

    So you really get annoyed with people?  My annoyance is usually anger fueled.
    Being disgusted, for me, means I am so angry at the person I loathe them.
    You get angry; I seem to live anger.
    Deep Anger is where I usually begin.  I find myself less hostile lately only because I've seen how much I've
    lost in the past by my hostility.  When I'm hostile I lash out verbally AND in some way physically.  I have been
    known to hurt people.  And most people only have to look at my face to know that I am PISSED!  I can not
    hide it.
    OK!  Rage I can identify with, because to me, my anger is always in the rage stage.  I go ballistic and say and do
    many things I regret later.  But only lately have I been able to stop the acting-out.  I don't like the results.
    Black Rage was a true friend of mine for all of 5 years.  I saw and reacted in Black Rage from the time I was
    forced to let my son go...  When I'm backed into a corner is when I fear the acting-out part of my Black Rage.  That's
    part of why I isolate myself.  It keeps everyone safe.

    What was the worst acting out you ever did while under the influence of the Black Rage?  Besides your head injury?

    What did I ever do to deserve this... Teddy

    <inappropriate laughing>

    So you really get annoyed with people? 

    I get really annoyed (quickly and easily) when I feel as though people are not seeing or listening to things that are important to me.  So, depending on how ignored I feel, and who is doing the ignoring, my annoyance can turn to black rage very very quickly, especially if I don't pay attention to my triggered reactions and responses.  [This "being aware" of crap can get really hard and difficult... especially when there is soooooooooooo much pain inside.]

    I go ballistic and say and do many things I regret later.  But only lately have I been able to stop the acting-out.  I don't like the results.

    <nodding>.  I can totally relate.  I've been told by many people they get scared of me when I get angry.  They don't know what I'll do... so they stay away, thinking that will keep things safe.

    What was the worst acting out you ever did while under the influence of the Black Rage?  Besides your head injury?

    <somber remembrance> I never killed, if that's what you mean.  I was always a self-injury kinda person, but I'd hurt myself in not-so-obvious ways because I knew if I tried to use the obvious choices/modes of self-injury like knives, blades or other tools, I'd get my ass kicked/punished.  Instead, I'd reach for things/activities that could/would hurt me slowly and silently... knowing I'd grow numb to the pain, anyway. 

    Pound Pup Legacy