As with most strong emotions I shut down when feeling enraged. My shame, fear and insecurity are too strong to act out almost all of the time. I hestitate, step back, detach and panic, shut down. How does one dare?
I suppose that all depends on whether you have someone in your life who cares about you, and that Care is mutual. It's EASY to walk-away... it's what many adoptees are taught.
It's a Parent's job to teach a child "I will always be here for you".
Always means each and every time, Forever. No matter what.
For myself, I have always been A Fighter... so when things get Ugly, I get moving. I fight when I feel like I have been wrongly accused. I resist commands, and I refuse to comply to the will of my superior... until I realize I am all alone, and all support efforts have left me, as well.
THEN, I shut-down... lick my wounds, recover from yet another humiliating loss, and say to myself: "self...NEXT time, I WILL win... even if it kills me... I will NOT let the hands of a stranger take what was Given to me by God, without a fight".
Survival of the fittest. Darwin. (Makes sense to me...!)
Comments
Shut down
As with most strong emotions I shut down when feeling enraged. My shame, fear and insecurity are too strong to act out almost all of the time. I hestitate, step back, detach and panic, shut down. How does one dare?
Depth of Independence
How does one dare?
I suppose that all depends on whether you have someone in your life who cares about you, and that Care is mutual. It's EASY to walk-away... it's what many adoptees are taught.
It's a Parent's job to teach a child "I will always be here for you".
Always means each and every time, Forever. No matter what.
Engage
For myself, I have always been A Fighter... so when things get Ugly, I get moving. I fight when I feel like I have been wrongly accused. I resist commands, and I refuse to comply to the will of my superior... until I realize I am all alone, and all support efforts have left me, as well.
THEN, I shut-down... lick my wounds, recover from yet another humiliating loss, and say to myself: "self...NEXT time, I WILL win... even if it kills me... I will NOT let the hands of a stranger take what was Given to me by God, without a fight".
Survival of the fittest. Darwin. (Makes sense to me...!)