Pound Pup Legacy

Looking back, I see how many of my relationships were based on a hungry need for freedom and escape from misery more than a search for love itself.  In fact, the absence of love and ability to detach so quickly was what disturbed me so much about myself.  "What's wrong with me?  Why can I seem to care so deeply one minute, then walk away the next?  Why must it be all or none, and not baby-steps like every one else?"

Some ten years ago I was in a relationship with someone who was severely depressed. For years she would just sit on the couch and watch televesion, angry at the world for not acknowledging the harm done to her. Somewhere down the line she went to see a therapist, who thought it a good idea to have me participate in the therapy. So for six months I went with my former girl-friend to see this therapist, which didn't work at all. My then girl-friend refused to discuss her issues with the therapist and made it very clear she didn't want me to address those either. So what was left to talk about was my contribution to her unhappiness. I learned a lot there. I learned to keep my mouth about solutions at all time, because that was something that was indeed not helping her at all. In fact it had the opposite effect. Since she wanted no solution to her problems, but only acknowledgement of them any suggestion to solve something would be yet another road blocked. The therapy didn't save the relationship, but it has tought me my own limitations helping someone.