Lost love

When I was a small child I loved and adored my adoptive parents. They were my world and I couldn't imagine a life without them. Years and years later I left them to start living on my own at my wits end, feeling I had to go, it being the death of me if I didn't. The love I once felt for them was completely gone. For years I couldn't look at families who got along fine without getting angry and frustrated.

I don't know exactly when it started and what triggered it. I do know my mother's insecurity played a huge role in it, needing constant affirmation I did love her. What once was spontaneous and heartfelt, became a chore of fake and make-belief. I'm not good at faking and hate being forced to express my love.

In King Lear, Shakespear tells a tale of three daughters, each of them having to express their love for their father. The two eldest are treacherous bitches who lie between their teeth to get to the inheritance. The youngest daughter, Cordelia, cannot. She does love her father, but she can't put it into words, she can't be forced to express her love for him, so she refuses. Lear blinded by his own vanity rewards his two eldest daughters and expells his youngest. For years I felt just like Cordelia, forced to do what didn't come naturally.

I wonder who recognizes this.