Playing Tears for Fears - Watch me Bleed
Tue, 2007-11-06 15:52 - Kerry
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Heaven comes to he who waits
But I know I'm getting nowhere
And all the deeds of yesterday
Have really helped to pave my way
Though there's no one near me now
How come everyone can touch me
You see the torture on my brow
Relates to neither here nor now
Watch me bleed
Bleed forever
Although my face is straight, it lies
My body feels the Pain and cries
Here the table is not bare
I am full but feeling empty
For all the warmth it feels so cold
For one so young I feel so old
Watch me bleed
Bleed forever
It's not allowed to be unkind
But still the hate lives in my mind
I'll make no noise
I'll hide my pain
I'll close my eyes
I won't complain
I'll lie right back and take the blame
And trie to tell myself I'm living
And when it's all been said or done
Where do I go ?
Where do I run ?
What's left of me or anyone when we've denied the hurting ?
Comments
"All the deeds of yesterday have really helped to pave my way"
It was the early 1980's. My best-friend went to England to visit her mother's family for the first time, and left me alone for the summer. I was miserable.
My adoptive mother had this idea that it would be good for me to attend summer school "to get ahead", hoping I would graduate high-school in three years, not four. So while my best-buddy was learning about Paul Young, potato crisps and Pringle sweaters, I was stuck in summer school as the nerd-dork among class-failures.
I was miserable.
Her letters would be the highlight of my days. She wrote with her left-hand, so they looked like they were written by a serial-killer. That made them that much more fun to read, because I really had to study them to figure out what the hell she was saying. We shared a wicked-sense of humour, too, so within the 4-page letters, she would include inside-joke comics we had going between us. I carried those letters like they were my oxygen tanks to summer-school. They were my life-support. Instead of taking class-notes, I wrote back to my best-friend, who was no longer with me, but with her new-found family in the UK.
I was insane with misery. Until she returned, with her "care package".
When she came back, she brought me a tape with music on it... that's the first I heard of TFF and Paul Young. I tasted salt & vinegar crisps and got my very first tea cosy to wear on my head.
I was, for the first time in my life, someones family-member, by proxy.
I was re-born.
I always hated school and piano lessons... they were forced upon me. Yet I love music and learning. Those things I'm allowed to choose for me and by me have always been passionately embraced and kept dear to me, never forgotten and will always remain powerful driving forces in everything I set to do for myself.
A Pound Pup knows who he/she is... it just takes more time and care to let that true essence shine through for some because too many hands have touched and hurt the little ones trying to grow and be strong on their own.