Life's Lessons Are Taught By The Wrong Authority

Police still seeking baby's mother

Thursday, December 07, 2006
BY BILL SWAYZE
Star-Ledger Staff

http://www.nj.com/news/ledger/morris/index.ssf?/base/news-2/1165473981149130.xml&coll=1

Just days old, the infant was found Monday at 6:15 p.m. by apartment tenant Luzelena Vasquez and her 14-year-old daughter and 11-year-old son. The baby, who may be Hispanic, weighs 8 pounds, 2 ounces and is 20 inches long, remains in good condition at St. Clare's Hospital in Denville. Ben Martin, a spokesman for St. Clare's, said the baby is in good health, but was not certain when the infant would be leaving the hospital.

Andy Williams, a spokesman for the state Division of Youth and Family Services, said that in cases of abandonment, DYFS takes custody of the child.

And while potential parents are calling police, state officials and anyone else they think can lead them to adopting the girl, Williams said there are people -- thousands of them -- already in the adoption pipeline who are licensed and deemed fit for parenthood who have a chance to wind up with the girl.

If authorities find the mother, there will be criminal and DYFS investigations into what Williams said was an "unsafe abandonment."

The baby was found in Vasquez's unlocked 2001 Ford Windstar minivan. She was wrapped in a blanket on the driver's seat. Two boxes of diapers and a bottle of formula were left in the car.

Police believe the baby had been in the unlocked vehicle for about a half-hour before she was discovered at 6:15 p.m. The temperature outside was about 30 degrees at the time.

Under New Jersey's Safe Haven Law, the mother could have left the infant at a hospital or police station without the threat of prosecution. The law was designed to avoid tragedies in which infants are abandoned only to die of exposure.

And yet... those cases formally filed and left to the Attentive Care of DYFS are abandoned in far less humane conditions, as news reports of  "foul play" continue to permeate the headlines.  Who is accountable and responsible for the news-stories  made  public by neighbors who alert far too many Authorities to the very "well-placed homes" adopted or fostered children have been found (dead or alive) in places like the locked unheated basements or suffocating closets in their Home Sweet Homes of Adoptive/Foster "families"?  

With helpful resources like THAT, who needs natural predators to kill-off the Next Generation?   I would like to think the criminal & DYFS investigations will include a background check into the new-mother's Family Situation, making strong note of WHAT led that new mom to such a desperate act, in the first place.  Fear and Guilt leads a mom to relinquish a baby to the care of a stranger, as the era of Closed Adoption can teach us.  Otherwise, had the mom in this case been a True Criminal, the body found in the unlocked car would not have been left wrapped in a blanket with diapers and formula.  It would have been left for dead where it was born.  A criminal mind is taught by those who simply don't care about What Happens Next.

Where, When, and by Whom will accountability and responsibility be taught???

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RE: Life's Lessons Are Taught By The Wrong Authority

" I would like to think the criminal & DYFS investigations will include a background check into the new-mother's Family Situation, making strong note of WHAT led that new mom to such a desperate act, in the first place.  

...  Otherwise, had the mom in this case been a True Criminal, the body found in the unlocked car would not have been left wrapped in a blanket with diapers and formula.  It would have been left for dead where it was born.  A criminal mind is taught by those who simply don't care about What Happens Next.

Where, When, and by Whom will accountability and responsibility be taught???  "

Exactly, Kerry... EXACTLY.

"Fear and Guilt leads a mom to relinquish a baby to the care of a stranger, as the era of Closed Adoption can teach us." 

Or more likely, fear and Force. 

RE: Life's Lessons

...  Otherwise, had the mom in this case been a True Criminal, the body found in the unlocked car would not have been left wrapped in a blanket with diapers and formula.  It would have been left for dead where it was born. 

A criminal mind is taught by those who simply don't care about What Happens Next.

 

Or, perhaps even more likely, a psychotic mind, or for some other reason the mother is not right mind (mind-altering substances on-board, severe mental illness...)

Another possibility is that someone other than the mother took and left the baby.

Murder at the hands of a stranger

A girl is given four options when she discovers she is With Child

  • keep the baby
  • abort the baby
  • sell the baby
  • abandon the baby

Who is responsible for these Life Lessons females with Unexpected Expectations are still being taught in 2007?

 

Killer Adoptees: Don't Shoot the Messenger

The fact is, there is no comprehensive study on adoptees' outcomes, partly because there is no followup beyond finalization of the adoption, and partly because our government has failed to implement the National Adoption Data Collection System approved since 1988, yet has managed to guarantee over $1 billion in funding over the next four years to "promote and increase adoptions." There's not even a reliable figure as to total number of adoptees over the past five decades.

The fact is, adoptees' adoptive status and broken birth bonds, how they impacted their lives, and the "adopted child syndrome defense" is rarely addressed at their trials - partly due to inadequate defense by public defenders, partly because they are offered plea bargains instead of trials, and partly due to the complexity of psychiatric defenses which are often lost on juries who have been inundated with pro-adoption rhetoric in media. I have been assisting Patrick J. Callahan, a forensic psychologist who provides expert witness testimony in the defense of juveniles (including adoptees) who kill - not as an excuse to "get away with murder" but as a reason or proximate cause for consideration in sentencing, so that the adoptee can obtain appropriate, adoption-oriented psychiatric treatment and in some cases a chance for rehabilitation, instead of being executed or warehoused for life. For adoptees imprisoned for lesser crimes, I have attempted, often successfuly, to find their families. When found, their families have been supportive of their incarcerated adult adopted children, which often helped those adoptees turn their lives around. So, yes, I believe it is worth the risk of "upsetting someone" to help these adoptees.

The point is not whether or not to sweep adoptees who have criminal behaviors under seal, lest they reflect badly on the the rest of the adoption community. The point is that each of us in the general populaton has the potential for violence but we also have a genetic and learned resiliency. Resiliency is impacted, exponentially, by the accumulation of abuses one suffers. So why play Russian Roulette with our children, whose resiliency cannot be foreseen, by further burdening them with adoption abuses? The point is, there is an overrepresentation of adoptees 'in trouble' - in psychiatric therapy and institutionalized - no one disputes this. Why perpetuate it with an abusive system when there are more humane forms of custody available that do not place such burdens on children and adults?

Hearing All Sides

The purpose of the Abolish Adoption website is to truly dispel myths about adoption by giving a voice to those adoptees and parents who are not being heard "because it might upset someone." To hear them would risk acknowledging that the cause of their injury is adoption itself. In addition to comments by those who have added their names to our petition also on the home page, there are links (at the left) to many supporting pages, including Adopted Prisoners, whose photo ads with their prison addresses invite your correspondence and/or search assistance, free e-books, synopses, reviews and publisher information regarding this author's forthcoming books, "The Ultimate Search Book-2002" (available in February 2002), and "Chosen Children", (scheduled for March-April 2002 release).

Adoptee Rights Are Human Rights

I can understand resistance to the concept that "all adoptees are damaged." Some, who are otherwise content with their lives, may not consider loss of basic civil and human rights as "damaging" - that is, until they wish to freely exercise one of these rights and are blocked by adoption laws - even as adults, even as adults whose children inherit their burden. For a listing of the specific Articles of the Declaration of Human Rights and how the scheme of adoption itself violates these rights, please go to Human Rights & Adoption.

abject choicelessness

OPTIONS assume MORE THAN ONE choice.  If there is not more than ONE option to "choose" from, it is not an "option".  And I'm talking about an infant carried over 9 months to term. Not talking about "reproductive choice" but the privilege to parent.

I will not presume to define others' experiences that I haven't had. Likewise others should not presume to define the experience of people whose experience they did not have. 

There have been millions of adoptions over the past decades.  Do you think that these were all girls and young women who willingly or knowingly "abandoned" infants?  They were not.  What the infant or child or adult feels is one thing, what the mother thought and felt was another.  Adoption facilitators don't go around telling these girls that their child may develop feelings of abandonment related to being adopted.  In fact they don't tell them anything bad about adoption.  It's candy coated as the most "wonderful, loving and unselfish thing you can do for your baby".

Who is responsible for these Life Lessons females with Unexpected Expectations are still being taught in 2007?

It's only a crisis as long as the people around her are making it a crisis.  If she gets no help it will continue to be a crisis if she has nothing herself and is offered no help.  So-called "unplanned" pregnancies needn't be any different than planned ones if she is supported emotionally and provided for and her pregnancy is seen as a joyous occasion by those around her.

"Based on what I've learned about the experiences of birth mothers in the United States, I want to suggest that the conventional understanding of adoption should be turned on its head. Almost everybody believes that on some level, birth mothers make a choice to give their babies away. ... I argue that adoption is rarely about mothers' choices; it is, instead, about the abject choicelessness of some resourceless women." -Rickie Solinger, Beggars and
Choosers, 2001.

 

Moment of Truth

So often, BECAUSE I freely voice my anger towards child abusers people assume I am angry at the women who choose Life over death.

My dad taught me the lessons of Assumtions:  "when you assume you make an ass out of u and me".

How can there be anger towards nurturing women?  That's just stupid!

I think, those who WANT to see the Bad, the Wrong and the Ugly in a situation do so because they refuse to see difference if opinion as a Good thing.

"Different" is not Bad, it's simply an alternative to traditional/orthadox reasoning.

I wonder why some people are so resistent to such open-minded thinking... any guesses Out There?

Pound Pup Legacy