exposing the dark side of adoption
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by tina on Thursday, 10 January 2008
Over the past week I have been asking everyone I know one question. What is child trafficking? Everyone knew it was illegal, few actually knew why it was illegal and ashamed as I am to say it a few even said they weren't interested! The lack of interest rightly or wrongly mainly stemmed from the image they had of illegal trafficking.

The UK media rarely touches on the true picture of trafficking, preferring to distort the facts into acts of illegal immigration. Until recently our Government didn't accept its existence here.We care too much about children to allow it to happen here (Oh yes Mr, Minister). We hear stories now and again, stories too big to be ignored, of bodies being found in freight containers and container lorries. Immigrants being brought illegally into the country for vast sums of money, only to end up starved of oxygen and no way of identifying them. What we don't hear is the truth or the scale of it.

If I am honest I didn't have a clue about child trafficking and how it goes disguised in the UK until Feb 2000. Victoria Climbié was 8years old when she came to the media attention. malnourishment, 128 separate injuries, 'It was the worst case of deliberate harm to a child' pathologist Dr Nathaniel Carey said he had ever seen.
As the details of Victoria's short and tragic life emerged a world I didn't know existed opened up. Victoria had been born 1991 in the Ivory Coast. She was the fifth of seven children, had started school at six and showed great promise. In 1998 a visiting relative offered to take Victoria back to France with her on the promise of a good education and a better future. Victoria's parents agreed to the idea and sent her off believing their daughter would have a wonderful life. It was not uncommon for families in the Ivory Coast to send children to relatives abroad for education and financial reasons.
At the time I thought it was far fetched to be expected to believe that it was an accepted and common practice for parents to willingly and happily send a child halfway around the world to live with a distant relative. I now know different. From the late 1950's the UK saw a heavy flow of welcome immigrants from Africa and the West Indies. Enticed here with promises of a better life and jobs. The UK had it's own agenda if the truth be known. Cheap labour for the worst manual jobs. Many of the Nigerians to settle here did the unexpected and instead of the manual labour jobs they sought careers and enriched the middle class communities. Extending their fortune and chance of education and opportunities to relatives from their home land was a natural progression within families.

Of course not all stories where success stories, and the economic decline in the later 1970's brought hardship and increased exploitation. For some bringing a child relative here under the pretence of providing a better life was the meal ticket that they needed. Distance prevented the child's family from knowing the truth and far from a better life many children became nothing more than slaves, neglected and abused but a source of welfare benefits for the family.
It is not known whether Victoria's Aunt initial intentions where genuine. She was enrolled into a school in France on first leaving the Ivory Coast but what ever the initial intention things changed when she arrived in the UK with her Aunt.

Victoria was brought to the attention of Child protection and social services on numerous occasions before her death but no one ever questioned why or how she came to be in the care of her Aunt or about her family in the Ivory Coast. Victoria was not enrolled in school for most of her time here yet that also was not questioned. Victoria's life could and should have been saved. The laws put in place to protect children were ignored by every official to come into contact with Victoria. A situation like this 'should never' happen again it was said (oh yes Mr. Minister).

It is still happening here in the UK but it isn't child trafficking! it is illegal immigrants (Oh yes Mr. Minister). Once these children have passed the age to be eligible for child benefits and cannot get jobs due to lack of education and often social isolation they are discarded. Entering the country as EU citizens, no immigration record of their arrival exists and of course they have no identifying documents. It doesn't take long living on the streets to court the attention of the authorities and for a whole new nightmare to begin. Their stories are seldom believed and they are treated like criminals.

This is the UK. This is the TRUTH. Forget the cargo containers and lorries. Children who are victims of this very real and illegal trade are inside houses, behind closed doors and very much in the UK.

The Victoria Climbie inquiry can be found on this link: http://www.victoria-climbie-inquiry.org.uk/finreport/finreport.htm

Roller coaster

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by tina on Sunday, 30 December 2007

I seem to live my life in  loop mode of a

roller coaster

. I know when the ride is leveling because I can feel it. The nose dive. Not even an inkling. I go from perfectly scatty (which is normal for me) to a blubbering wreck in a split second. It happens every few months, no warning, then after a few days (maybe longer) I suddenly feel

OK

again and am ready to fight the world.

by tina on Thursday, 29 November 2007

Places you have never been before seem strangely familiar. You hear a voice and  just for a moment, you  turn to look. Dreams of  faces you have never seen appear to you as you sleep.  Surrounded by family, just for a split second, you feel an outsider. You might  mention the odd thing or two to your family but they casually dismiss them. There is no one particular thing that you can explain as not right,  there is just something. It is a feeling deep inside, a feeling of something missing. Like a story book that has lost some of its pages. You can skip the missing pages and still follow the story but you are still aware of the missing pages.

I can make the missing pages comparison because I have experienced the unthinkable. More importantly though, I discovered reality. I ask you, for a moment, try and think the unthinkable. The only parents you have ever known. The parents who you love and who love you with all their hearts. imagine, if you can, that  you weren't born into the family you love and know. Imagine your life started very differently.  

Adoption 'awareness' is very much in the media but being 'aware' means accepting that corruption DOES exist in  adoption. Children ARE stolen and sold for adoption. Could YOU be a stolen child? Unthinkable you say, but is it? Stolen children are quickly molded into the role of official off spring. Would the adopters of a stolen child tell the child. NO. So, I ask you again, think the unthinkable.

On July 24, 1991 on the Greek Island of Kos, a two year old child vanished  without a trace. Little Ben Needham was playing in the Greek sunshine outside the family home, within the space of five minutes he was gone. Bens' mum Kerry was let down atrociously by the Greek authorities (and the UK, where it seems, unless the missing child is that of a middle class family it is just yesterdays news) who took the stance that no Greek person would steal or hurt a child".   The refusal to consider Greek involvement meant the investigation into Bens' abduction was a farce from the beginning.

Greece has a long history of  trafficking and illegal adoption. After world war 2 and  Civil war the Greek economy was on its knees. The 1950's saw 100's if not 1000s of children illegally shipped to America from Greece for adoption.http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9905E2DF1139F930A25757C0A960958260  

Was it coincidence that at the same time the Greek economy appeared to recover? A much fuller picture of Greek adoptions has emerged since the 1995 social  turbulence which resulted in the unearthing of mass criminal acts involving adoption. These finding,  have forced a change in the ancient Greek adoption laws, and in 1996 adoptees finally gained rights.http://www.seasyp.gr/greek-law.htm .

The possibility exists that  Ben Needham was abducted for the adoption market. Sixteen years have gone by since Kerry and her family held Ben, touched Ben, kissed Ben, sixteen long years that will have turned Ben from that chubby little two year old whos' face we know so well, into an eighteen year old young man. While that possibility exists I ask every young man just for a moment to think the unthinkable. It could well be the unthinkable that holds the key to Bens' whereabouts.

Buyer's be aware

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by tina on Friday, 16 November 2007
by tina on Tuesday, 13 November 2007

I have a 16 year old Godson and he has lived with me and my 3 kids since his mum (my best and longest friend) hung herself on his 13th birthday. Ceejay has a dad who loves him to bits but sadly he fell apart after losing Ceejays mum and so as a temporary measure Ceejay came to live with us. That temporary measure turned out to be permanent. I have legal guardianship of him (needed if ever he needed medical attention and the likes) and he sees his dad whenever he wants (usually on a payday haha). They have a great relationship even though Ceejay chose to carry on living with me. We both know that for Ceejay, the distraction of having my 3 kids around him was ultimately the reason for him wanting to live with me.

I love Ceejay like one of my own, I would though be lying if I didn't say that it is probably because of the fact that I have had him in my life almost everyday from the time he was a day old. Would I of ever wanted to have adopt Ceejay, NO! there isn't a piece of paper been invented that would make me love him any more or make him any less part of my family. His mum was my best est ever friend and my kids Godmother, we have no blood connections at all but we always thought of each other as family. Ceejays dad is part of the family too, he just doesn't live with us but my family is Ceejays and Ceejays family is my family. OK so CeeJay was 13 when he came to live with me, but even if he had been a baby I still say adopting him and falsifying his birth details to wipe out who he was born to be would be wrong. If adoption gave us the ability to love more then yes, maybe it would be a reason for it. Why cant people love a child enough and unconditionally to give it the l security and the confidence to love and to know they are loved just for being themselves without the denial of a past and a certificate of ownership. Adoption doesn't make a child belong it takes away the possibility of ever belonging.

For Lynne- suspended in space

No word or note,
Or reasons why.
What hurt so much?
That you wanted to die

How did it feel?
As the cord pulled tight.
Did you feel at peace?
Or put up a fight.

Hung by the neck,
Suspended in space.
Grotesque swollen tongue,
A blue marbled face.

That’s what you left
For me to find
Embedded forever,
Scarring my mind.

How can I grieve?
When I look at you son,
Confused and hurt
By what you done.

He doesn’t asks why
Or stands and weep.
I doubt he’s aware,
That he cries in his sleep.

A glistening tear
Where a twinkle once shone,
Reflecting his pain
Now that you’ve gone.

Miracle my ass!

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by tina on Tuesday, 06 November 2007

Take one healthy child,

negotiate a price

scrub away the grime

call it something nice

When it starts to talk

by tina on Wednesday, 31 October 2007

Over the past week an msn group members discussed a new site they wanted to set up. The member whose idea it was said it would be a board for people to say whatever they wanted to other people with no come back. All the replies showed great enthusiasm and suggestions of what they intended to do. They all expressed glee at the anonymous email address and the fact IP addresses would be impossible to trace. The site is now set up. How will anyone take the UK and its adoption issues serious when such a big group like Forgotten Mothers are the people behind such irresponsible behaviour. They have named and shamed me. Stating myself and a fellow member have continuously harassed FM for years. You only have to go to their site (if they don't remove them) and see that I have never had a disagreement with any one until a couple of days ago. They use their own reasons but the start was a couple of days ago an adoptive mother applied to join the site and our opinions were asked. I immediately said is she was genuine then she should be applauded. She had said she wanted to know more from mothers to help her daughter. My view was that unless people are open or at least listen to one another there will never be an understanding. Another member also agreed  and was immediately attacked. All other members said no, along with a lot of nasty comments.

I made a perfectly honest observation to someone on another site and was immediately hung and accused of being multiple people.

Everyone has a right to an opinion and everyone should be allowed to reach their opinion over time. I will not get pulled into any more FM member rants, And I am sure people will come to their own conclusions. I have been public with my responses while FM have controlled who sees what. FM is a long established group which overtime have made a lot of claims. Yet they refuse to go public and let the site speak for its self.

FM is supposed to be for all the forgotten and abused mothers hoping for justice and change, my own mother was one of those mothers.  I hope the behaviour of the two sites does not detract from the the serious issues and the people who need helping. Here is the link to the site. http://spottypurplepeopleeater.blogspot.com/

by tina on Saturday, 27 October 2007

This is soooo funny! You can actually buy a CD: adoption volume 1 the songs we love. Hysterical. the songs include

I Knew I Loved You

- Jenee Wright Prince / by Darren Hayes & Daniel Jones/WB Music Corp.

2. From God's Arms to My Arms to Yours - Linsey Brinkerhoff / by Michael McLean/Shining Star Music, Inc.

3. Blessed - Rob Gardner / by Elton John & Bernie Taupin/WB Music Corp.

a new word

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by tina on Friday, 26 October 2007

The touched by adoption post got me thinking (oh my head hurts haha). What a stupid pathetic lame saying. It is something a saint would say seeing and believing adoption is a truly beautiful thing. Get real. When I think of the word touched I think touched by an angel (god I love that program) or 'touched' in the head, a scouse saying for someone who is nuts, the gentle brush of a butterflies wing in the summer time.

There must be a better word than touched... I need to think

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by tina on Wednesday, 24 October 2007