I've just taken about a years holiday from actively trying to get the whole of my adoption file and records of how I came to spend time in care, this has been a 17 year fight so far, I'm about to have another go at getting some more.
I feel a bit like Oliver Twist, asking for more all the time I have the luxury of living in country where we adoptees have had the RIGHT to have a copy of our original birth certificate since 1976 (original in every respect apart from having "Adopted" typed or written in the margin).
I first aired this on the Norcap Forum some time ago, because they seem find it difficult to get beyond the triad concept of adoption at times, even to the point of using the impossible triangle illusion as their corporate logo.
I've always disliked the use of the words triad and triangle in adoption, which invariably involves a whole network of different people and interests, not just three. I find the triad and triangle symbolism a constant burden especially when trying to communicate with the government departments involved in adoption, they sometimes seem to find it difficult grasp just how complicated the network of broken and re-formed relationships in adoption can be.
One of the questions in the Civil Registration: Delivering Vital Change Consultation here in England & Wales was Supplementary Question S6: Do you have any views on the proposed definition of family in respect of accessing registration records? My answer was as follows
<<<........ I can see very little merit in the Government taking some arbitrary definition of family and making it a mandatory definition for the purposes of this legislation. A family should be defined by those who comprise it, and not by the state.
Families come in many shapes and sizes and different kinds. I and my brothers and sisters consider ourselves to be a "family". But we have been adopted or kept by nine different other "families" some of which include other adoptees from different "natural families" and there are probably eight different fathers involved whose "families" one or more of my half siblings also belong to.
But the law sees me only as a member of my adoptive family and my brothers and sisters as members of entirely different families.
I am pleased to be a part of my adoptive family, but it is the least useful definition of family to me in terms of investigating my genetic heritage.
It would be far more practical for the government to restrict access to information on vital records either on the basis of need to know or leave it as it is now with the proviso that anyone who feels that access to their records will endanger them can seek a Confidentiality Order.
However if the Government does decide that it is essential to have a definition of family, that definition should be as wide as possible, to include people who are related whether by blood or by adoption. In terms of blood relationship, access to cause of death information should be extended to aunt, uncle, niece, nephew, cousin, and second cousin relationships.....>>>
Since I first wrote this, I've become involved in trying to find my agnate siblings by several other mothers that my father had relationships with. It is very difficult it to get civil servants and their Ministers to understand all of this when those of us who are supposed to understand it, all continue using the over simplified language that we often do, and I'm probably just as guilty as everyone else. Sorry to ramble on but In my opinion we really do have to be more thoughtful about the terminology that we use. I don't that mind what first mothers call themselves, but calling a thing that is as multifactorial as adoption and those affected by it is farcical
Well I'm recycling there, but wondered what you all think here, doesn't the word 'triad' really confuse what adoption is all about, when think about it adoption is just fixed form of fostering (or least it should be if get the 'lets pretend it's really ours' element of adoption), would you describe fostering as a 'triad'
Ah well I've been on alt.adoption for nearly 10 years in various guises, been looking in there for 15, so I probably qualify on 'sick sense of humor' criteria to be here.
I've a little experience of children's homes way way back the age of 2 and that was a long long time ago. Getting access to records from organizations that were active in for want of better word, childcare, and adoption is what I have a bit of experience of as some of you've probably seen.