Thoughts on Placement

At the inception of all placements are placed thoughts ... 

"You have nothing to offer this baby" (not even me? ... I must be of no worth to my child)

"Your baby needs a mother AND a father" (read: adoptive parents)

"Welfare is a dead end for you and your baby" (as if the mother would need such assistance interminably)

"Welfare mothers are the scourge of society" (this is usually unspoken but felt as thick as smoke... heap on the shame)

"It is in the best interests of this baby to go to a loving, stable, secure home"  (as if you don't love your baby more than anyone else in the world but that isn't worth anything). Years later you find out it was the most important thing and would have been worth its weight in gold in terms of emotional stability and security (think Erickson) for your child.

Who really does the placing?

Placed thoughts... placed by whom and why?